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Etext prepared by Dianne Bean of Prescott Valley, Arizona.
THE STORY OF MY LIFE
BY HELEN KELLER
WITH HER LETTERS (1887-1901)
AND A SUPPLEMENTARY ACCOUNT OF HER EDUCATION,
INCLUDING PASSAGES FROM THE REPORTS AND LETTERS
OF HER TEACHER, ANNE MANSFIELD SULLIVAN
By John Albert Macy
To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL
Who has taught the deaf to speak
and enabled the listening ear to hear speech
from the Atlantic to the Rockies,
I dedicate
this Story of My Life.
This book is in three parts. The first two, Miss Keller's story
and the extracts from her letters, form a complete account of her
life as far as she can give it. Much of her education she cannot
explain herself, and since a knowledge of that is necessary to an
understanding of what she has written, it was thought best to
supplement her autobiography with the reports and letters of her
teacher, Miss Anne Mansfield Sullivan. The addition of a further
account of Miss Keller's personality and achievements may be
unnecessary; yet it will help to make clear some of the traits of her
character and the nature of the work which she and her teacher have
done.
For the third part of the book the Editor is responsible, though
all that is valid in it he owes to authentic records and to the
advice of Miss Sullivan.
The Editor desires to express his gratitude and the gratitude of
Miss Keller and Miss Sullivan to The Ladies' Home Journal and to its
editors, Mr. Edward Bok and Mr. William V. Alexander, who have been
unfailingly kind and have given for use in this book all the
photographs which were taken expressly for the Journal; and the Editor
thanks Miss Keller's many friends who have lent him her letters to
them and given him valuable information; especially Mrs. Laurence
Hutton, who supplied him with her large collection of notes and
anecdotes; Mr. John Hitz, Superintendent of the Volta Bureau for the
Increase and Diffusion of Knowledge relating to the Deaf; and Mrs.
Sophia C. Hopkins, to whom Miss Sullivan wrote those illuminating
letters, the extracts from which give a better idea of her methods
with her pupil than anything heretofore published.
Messrs. Houghton, Mifflin and Company have courteously permitted
the reprinting of Miss Keller's letter to Dr. Holmes, which appeared
in "Over the Teacups," and one of Whittier's letters to Miss Keller.
Mr. S. T. Pickard, Whittier's literary executor, kindly sent the
original of another letter from Miss Keller to Whittier.
John Albert Macy. Cambridge, Massachusetts, February 1, 1903.
It is with a kind of fear that I begin to write the history of my
life. I have, as it were, a superstitious hesitation in lifting the
veil that clings about my childhood like a golden mist. The task of
writing an autobiography is a difficult one. When I try to classify my
earliest impressions, I find that fact and fancy look alike across the
years that link the past with the present. The woman paints the
child's experiences in her own fantasy. A few impressions stand out
vividly from the first years of my life; but "the shadows of the
prison-house are on the rest." Besides, many of the joys and sorrows
of childhood have lost their poignancy; and many incidents of vital
importance in my early education have been forgotten in the excitement
of great discoveries. In order, therefore, not to be tedious I shall
try to present in a series of sketches only the episodes that seem to
me to be the most interesting and important.
I was born on June 27, 1880, in Tuscumbia, a little town of
northern Alabama.
The family on my father's side is descended from Caspar Keller, a
native of Switzerland, who settled in Maryland. One of my Swiss
ancestors was the first teacher of the deaf in Zurich and wrote a
book on the subject of their education—rather a singular
coincidence; though it is true that there is no king who has not had
a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among
his.
My grandfather, Caspar Keller's son, "entered" large tracts of
land in Alabama and finally settled there. I have been told that once
a year he went from Tuscumbia to Philadelphia on horseback to purchase
supplies for the plantation, and my aunt has in her possession many of
the letters to his family, which give charming and vivid accounts of
these trips.
My Grandmother Keller was a daughter of one of Lafayette's aides,
Alexander Moore, and granddaughter of Alexander Spotswood, an early
Colonial Governor of Virginia. She was also second cousin to Robert E.
Lee.
My father, Arthur H. Keller, was a captain in the Confederate
Army, and my mother, Kate Adams, was his second wife and many years
younger. Her grandfather, Benjamin Adams, married Susanna E. Goodhue,
and lived in Newbury, Massachusetts, for many years. Their son,
Charles Adams, was born in Newburyport, Massachusetts, and moved to
Helena, Arkansas. When the Civil War broke out, he fought on the side
of the South and became a brigadier-general. He married Lucy Helen
Everett, who belonged to the same family of Everetts as Edward Everett
and Dr. Edward Everett Hale. After the war was over the family moved
to Memphis, Tennessee.
I lived, up to the time of the illness that deprived me of my
sight and hearing, in a tiny house consisting of a large square room
and a small one, in which the servant slept. It is a custom in the
South to build a small house near the homestead as an annex to be used
on occasion. Such a house my father built after the Civil War, and
when he married my mother they went to live in it. It was completely
covered with vines, climbing roses and honeysuckles. From the garden
it looked like an arbour. The little porch was hidden from view by a
screen of yellow roses and Southern smilax. It was the favourite haunt
of humming-birds and bees.
The Keller homestead, where the family lived, was a few steps from
our little rose-bower. It was called "Ivy Green" because the house and
the surrounding trees and fences were covered with beautiful English
ivy. Its old-fashioned garden was the paradise of my childhood.
Even in the days before my teacher came, I used to feel along the
square stiff boxwood hedges, and, guided by the sense of smell would
find the first violets and lilies. There, too, after a fit of temper,
I went to find comfort and to hide my hot face in the cool leaves and
grass. What joy it was to lose myself in that garden of flowers, to
wander happily from spot to spot, until, coming suddenly upon a
beautiful vine, I recognized it by its leaves and blossoms, and knew
it was the vine which covered the tumble-down summer-house at the
farther end of the garden! Here, also, were trailing clematis,
drooping jessamine, and some rare sweet flowers called butterfly
lilies, because their fragile petals resemble butterflies' wings. But
the roses—they were loveliest of all. Never have I found in the
greenhouses of the North such heart-satisfying roses as the climbing
roses of my southern home. They used to hang in long festoons from our
porch, filling the whole air with their fragrance, untainted by any
earthy smell; and in the early morning, washed in the dew, they felt
so soft, so pure, I could not help wondering if they did not resemble
the asphodels of God's garden.
The beginning of my life was simple and much like every other
little life. I came, I saw, I conquered, as the first baby in the
family always does. There was the usual amount of discussion as to a
name for me. The first baby in the family was not to be lightly named,
every one was emphatic about that. My father suggested the name of
Mildred Campbell, an ancestor whom he highly esteemed, and he declined
to take any further part in the discussion. My mother solved the
problem by giving it as her wish that I should be called after her
mother, whose maiden name was Helen Everett. But in the excitement of
carrying me to church my father lost the name on the way, very
naturally, since it was one in which he had declined to have a part.
When the minister asked him for it, he just remembered that it had
been decided to call me after my grandmother, and he gave her name as
Helen Adams.
I am told that while I was still in long dresses I showed many
signs of an eager, self-asserting disposition. Everything that I saw
other people do I insisted upon imitating. At six months I could pipe
out "How d'ye," and one day I attracted every one's attention by
saying "Tea, tea, tea" quite plainly. Even after my illness I
remembered one of the words I had learned in these early months. It
was the word "water," and I continued to make some sound for that word
after all other speech was lost. I ceased making the sound "wah-wah"
only when I learned to spell the word.
They tell me I walked the day I was a year old. My mother had just
taken me out of the bath-tub and was holding me in her lap, when I was
suddenly attracted by the flickering shadows of leaves that danced in
the sunlight on the smooth floor. I slipped from my mother's lap and
almost ran toward them. The impulse gone, I fell down and cried for
her to take me up in her arms.
These happy days did not last long. One brief spring, musical with
the song of robin and mocking-bird, one summer rich in fruit and
roses, one autumn of gold and crimson sped by and left their gifts at
the feet of an eager, delighted child. Then, in the dreary month of
February, came the illness which closed my eyes and ears and plunged
me into the unconsciousness of a new-born baby. They called it acute
congestion of the stomach and brain. The doctor thought I could not
live. Early one morning, however, the fever left me as suddenly and
mysteriously as it had come. There was great rejoicing in the family
that morning, but no one, not even the doctor, knew that I should
never see or hear again.
I fancy I still have confused recollections of that illness. I
especially remember the tenderness with which my mother tried to
soothe me in my waling hours of fret and pain, and the agony and
bewilderment with which I awoke after a tossing half sleep, and
turned my eyes, so dry and hot, to the wall away from the once-loved
light, which came to me dim and yet more dim each day. But, except for
these fleeting memories, if, indeed, they be memories, it all seems
very unreal, like a nightmare. Gradually I got used to the silence and
darkness that surrounded me and forgot that it had ever been
different, until she came—my teacher—who was to set my spirit free.
But during the first nineteen months of my life I had caught glimpses
of broad, green fields, a luminous sky, trees and flowers which the
darkness that followed could not wholly blot out. If we have once
seen, "the day is ours, and what the day has shown."
I cannot recall what happened during the first months after my
illness. I only know that I sat in my mother's lap or clung to her
dress as she went about her household duties. My hands felt every
object and observed every motion, and in this way I learned to know
many things. Soon I felt the need of some communication with others
and began to make crude signs. A shake of the head meant "No" and a
nod, "Yes," a pull meant "Come" and a push, "Go." Was it bread that I
wanted? Then I would imitate the acts of cutting the slices and
buttering them. If I wanted my mother to make ice-cream for dinner I
made the sign for working the freezer and shivered, indicating cold.
My mother, moreover, succeeded in making me understand a good deal. I
always knew when she wished me to bring her something, and I would run
upstairs or anywhere else she indicated. Indeed, I owe to her loving
wisdom all that was bright and good in my long night.
I understood a good deal of what was going on about me. At five I
learned to fold and put away the clean clothes when they were brought
in from the laundry, and I distinguished my own from the rest. I knew
by the way my mother and aunt dressed when they were going out, and I
invariably begged to go with them. I was always sent for when there
was company, and when the guests took their leave, I waved my hand to
them, I think with a vague remembrance of the meaning of the gesture.
One day some gentlemen called on my mother, and I felt the shutting of
the front door and other sounds that indicated their arrival. On a
sudden thought I ran upstairs before any one could stop me, to put on
my idea of a company dress. Standing before the mirror, as I had seen
others do, I anointed mine head with oil and covered my face thickly
with powder. Then I pinned a veil over my head so that it covered my
face and fell in folds down to my shoulders, and tied an enormous
bustle round my small waist, so that it dangled behind, almost meeting
the hem of my skirt. Thus attired I went down to help entertain the
company.
I do not remember when I first realized that I was different from
other people; but I knew it before my teacher came to me. I had
noticed that my mother and my friends did not use signs as I did when
they wanted anything done, but talked with their mouths. Sometimes I
stood between two persons who were conversing and touched their lips.
I could not understand, and was vexed. I moved my lips and
gesticulated frantically without result. This made me so angry at
times that I kicked and screamed until I was exhausted.
I think I knew when I was naughty, for I knew that it hurt Ella,
my nurse, to kick her, and when my fit of temper was over I had a
feeling akin to regret. But I cannot remember any instance in which
this feeling prevented me from repeating the naughtiness when I failed
to get what I wanted.
In those days a little coloured girl, Martha Washington, the child
of our cook, and Belle, an old setter, and a great hunter in her day,
were my constant companions. Martha Washington understood my signs,
and I seldom had any difficulty in making her do just as I wished. It
pleased me to domineer over her, and she generally submitted to my
tyranny rather than risk a hand-to-hand encounter. I was strong,
active, indifferent to consequences. I knew my own mind well enough
and always had my own way, even if I had to fight tooth and nail for
it. We spent a great deal of time in the kitchen, kneading dough
balls, helping make ice-cream, grinding coffee, quarreling over the
cake-bowl, and feeding the hens and turkeys that swarmed about the
kitchen steps. Many of them were so tame that they would eat from my
hand and let me feel them. One big gobbler snatched a tomato from me
one day and ran away with it. Inspired, perhaps, by Master Gobbler's
success, we carried off to the woodpile a cake which the cook had just
frosted, and ate every bit of it. I was quite ill afterward, and I
wonder if retribution also overtook the turkey.
The guinea-fowl likes to hide her nest in out-of-the-way places,
and it was one of my greatest delights to hunt for the eggs in the
long grass. I could not tell Martha Washington when I wanted to go
egg-hunting, but I would double my hands and put them on the ground,
which meant something round in the grass, and Martha always
understood. When we were fortunate enough to find a nest I never
allowed her to carry the eggs home, making her understand by emphatic
signs that she might fall and break them.
The sheds where the corn was stored, the stable where the horses
were kept, and the yard where the cows were milked morning and
evening were unfailing sources of interest to Martha and me. The
milkers would let me keep my hands on the cows while they milked, and
I often got well switched by the cow for my curiosity.
The making ready for Christmas was always a delight to me. Of
course I did not know what it was all about, but I enjoyed the
pleasant odours that filled the house and the tidbits that were given
to Martha Washington and me to keep us quiet. We were sadly in the
way, but that did not interfere with our pleasure in the least. They
allowed us to grind the spices, pick over the raisins and lick the
stirring spoons. I hung my stocking because the others did; I cannot
remember, however, that the ceremony interested me especially, nor did
my curiosity cause me to wake before daylight to look for my gifts.
Martha Washington had as great a love of mischief as I. Two little
children were seated on the veranda steps one hot July afternoon. One
was black as ebony, with little bunches of fuzzy hair tied with
shoestrings sticking out all over her head like corkscrews. The other
was white, with long golden curls. One child was six years old, the
other two or three years older. The younger child was blind—that was
I—and the other was Martha Washington. We were busy cutting out paper
dolls; but we soon wearied of this amusement, and after cutting up our
shoestrings and clipping all the leaves off the honeysuckle that were
within reach, I turned my attention to Martha's corkscrews. She
objected at first, but finally submitted. Thinking that turn and turn
about is fair play, she seized the scissors and cut off one of my
curls, and would have cut them all off but for my mother's timely
interference.
Belle, our dog, my other companion, was old and lazy and liked to
sleep by the open fire rather than to romp with me. I tried hard to
teach her my sign language, but she was dull and inattentive. She
sometimes started and quivered with excitement, then she became
perfectly rigid, as dogs do when they point a bird. I did not then
know why Belle acted in this way; but I knew she was not doing as I
wished. This vexed me and the lesson always ended in a one-sided
boxing match. Belle would get up, stretch herself lazily, give one or
two contemptuous sniffs, go to the opposite side of the hearth and lie
down again, and I, wearied and disappointed, went off in search of
Martha.
Many incidents of those early years are fixed in my memory,
isolated, but clear and distinct, making the sense of that silent,
aimless, dayless life all the more intense.
One day I happened to spill water on my apron, and I spread it out
to dry before the fire which was flickering on the sitting-room
hearth. The apron did not dry quickly enough to suit me, so I drew
nearer and threw it right over the hot ashes. The fire leaped into
life; the flames encircled me so that in a moment my clothes were
blazing. I made a terrified noise that brought Viny, my old nurse, to
the rescue. Throwing a blanket over me, she almost suffocated me, but
she put out the fire. Except for my hands and hair I was not badly
burned.
About this time I found out the use of a key. One morning I locked
my mother up in the pantry, where she was obliged to remain three
hours, as the servants were in a detached part of the house. She kept
pounding on the door, while I sat outside on the porch steps and
laughed with glee as I felt the jar of the pounding. This most naughty
prank of mine convinced my parents that I must be taught as soon as
possible. After my teacher, Miss Sullivan, came to me, I sought an
early opportunity to lock her in her room. I went upstairs with
something which my mother made me understand I was to give to Miss
Sullivan; but no sooner had I given it to her than I slammed the door
to, locked it, and hid the key under the wardrobe in the hall. I could
not be induced to tell where the key was. My father was obliged to get
a ladder and take Miss Sullivan out through the window—much to my
delight. Months after I produced the key.
When I was about five years old we moved from the little
vine-covered house to a large new one. The family consisted of my
father and mother, two older half-brothers, and, afterward, a little
sister, Mildred. My earliest distinct recollection of my father is
making my way through great drifts of newspapers to his side and
finding him alone, holding a sheet of paper before his face. I was
greatly puzzled to know what he was doing. I imitated this action,
even wearing his spectacles, thinking they might help solve the
mystery. But I did not find out the secret for several years. Then I
learned what those papers were, and that my father edited one of them.
My father was most loving and indulgent, devoted to his home,
seldom leaving us, except in the hunting season. He was a great
hunter, I have been told, and a celebrated shot. Next to his family
he loved his dogs and gun. His hospitality was great, almost to a
fault, and he seldom came home without bringing a guest. His special
pride was the big garden where, it was said, he raised the finest
watermelons and strawberries in the county; and to me he brought the
first ripe grapes and the choicest berries. I remember his caressing
touch as he led me from tree to tree, from vine to vine, and his eager
delight in whatever pleased me.
He was a famous story-teller; after I had acquired language he
used to spell clumsily into my hand his cleverest anecdotes, and
nothing pleased him more than to have me repeat them at an opportune
moment.
I was in the North, enjoying the last beautiful days of the summer
of 1896, when I heard the news of my father's death. He had had a
short illness, there had been a brief time of acute suffering, then
all was over. This was my first great sorrow—my first personal
experience with death.
How shall I write of my mother? She is so near to me that it
almost seems indelicate to speak of her.
For a long time I regarded my little sister as an intruder. I knew
that I had ceased to be my mother's only darling, and the thought
filled me with jealousy. She sat in my mother's lap constantly, where
I used to sit, and seemed to take up all her care and time. One day
something happened which seemed to me to be adding insult to injury.
At that time I had a much-petted, much-abused doll, which I
afterward named Nancy. She was, alas, the helpless victim of my
outbursts of temper and of affection, so that she became much the
worse for wear. I had dolls which talked, and cried, and opened and
shut their eyes; yet I never loved one of them as I loved poor Nancy.
She had a cradle, and I often spent an hour or more rocking her. I
guarded both doll and cradle with the most jealous care; but once I
discovered my little sister sleeping peacefully in the cradle. At this
presumption on the part of one to whom as yet no tie of love bound me
I grew angry. I rushed upon the cradle and over-turned it, and the
baby might have been killed had my mother not caught her as she fell.
Thus it is that when we walk in the valley of twofold solitude we know
little of the tender affections that grow out of endearing words and
actions and companionship. But afterward, when I was restored to my
human heritage, Mildred and I grew into each other's hearts, so that
we were content to go hand-in-hand wherever caprice led us, although
she could not understand my finger language, nor I her childish
prattle.
Meanwhile the desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used
became less and less adequate, and my failures to make myself
understood were invariably followed by outbursts of passion. I felt
as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to
free myself. I struggled—not that struggling helped matters, but the
spirit of resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in
tears and physical exhaustion. If my mother happened to be near I
crept into her arms, too miserable even to remember the cause of the
tempest. After awhile the need of some means of communication became
so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.
My parents were deeply grieved and perplexed. We lived a long way
from any school for the blind or the deaf, and it seemed unlikely
that any one would come to such an out-of-the-way place as Tuscumbia
to teach a child who was both deaf and blind. Indeed, my friends and
relatives sometimes doubted whether I could be taught. My mother's
only ray of hope came from Dickens's "American Notes." She had read
his account of Laura Bridgman, and remembered vaguely that she was
deaf and blind, yet had been educated. But she also remembered with a
hopeless pang that Dr. Howe, who had discovered the way to teach the
deaf and blind, had been dead many years. His methods had probably
died with him; and if they had not, how was a little girl in a far-off
town in Alabama to receive the benefit of them?
When I was about six years old, my father heard of an eminent
oculist in Baltimore, who had been successful in many cases that had
seemed hopeless. My parents at once determined to take me to Baltimore
to see if anything could be done for my eyes.
The journey, which I remember well was very pleasant. I made
friends with many people on the train. One lady gave me a box of
shells. My father made holes in these so that I could string them,
and for a long time they kept me happy and contented. The conductor,
too, was kind. Often when he went his rounds I clung to his coat tails
while he collected and punched the tickets. His punch, with which he
let me play, was a delightful toy. Curled up in a corner of the seat I
amused myself for hours making funny little holes in bits of
cardboard.
My aunt made me a big doll out of towels. It was the most comical
shapeless thing, this improvised doll, with no nose, mouth, ears or
eyes—nothing that even the imagination of a child could convert into
a face. Curiously enough, the absence of eyes struck me more than all
the other defects put together. I pointed this out to everybody with
provoking persistency, but no one seemed equal to the task of
providing the doll with eyes. A bright idea, however, shot into my
mind, and the problem was solved. I tumbled off the seat and searched
under it until I found my aunt's cape, which was trimmed with large
beads. I pulled two beads off and indicated to her that I wanted her
to sew them on my doll. She raised my hand to her eyes in a
questioning way, and I nodded energetically. The beads were sewed in
the right place and I could not contain myself for joy; but
immediately I lost all interest in the doll. During the whole trip I
did not have one fit of temper, there were so many things to keep my
mind and fingers busy.
When we arrived in Baltimore, Dr. Chisholm received us kindly: but
he could do nothing. He said, however, that I could be educated, and
advised my father to consult Dr. Alexander Graham Bell of Washington,
who would be able to give him information about schools and teachers
of deaf or blind children. Acting on the doctor's advice, we went
immediately to Washington to see Dr. Bell, my father with a sad heart
and many misgivings, I wholly unconscious of his anguish, finding
pleasure in the excitement of moving from place to place. Child as I
was, I at once felt the tenderness and sympathy which endeared Dr.
Bell to so many hearts, as his wonderful achievements enlist their
admiration. He held me on his knee while I examined his watch, and he
made it strike for me. He understood my signs, and I knew it and loved
him at once. But I did not dream that that interview would be the
door through which I should pass from darkness into light, from
isolation to friendship, companionship, knowledge, love.
Dr. Bell advised my father to write to Mr. Anagnos, director of
the Perkins Institution in Boston, the scene of Dr. Howe's great
labours for the blind, and ask him if he had a teacher competent to
begin my education. This my father did at once, and in a few weeks
there came a kind letter from Mr. Anagnos with the comforting
assurance that a teacher had been found. This was in the summer of
1886. But Miss Sullivan did not arrive until the following March.
Thus I came up out of Egypt and stood before Sinai, and a power
divine touched my spirit and gave it sight, so that I beheld many
wonders. And from the sacred mountain I heard a voice which said,
"Knowledge is love and light and vision."
The most important day I remember in all my life is the one on
which my teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, came to me. I am filled
with wonder when I consider the immeasurable contrasts between the two
lives which it connects. It was the third of March, 1887, three months
before I was seven years old.
On the afternoon of that eventful day, I stood on the porch, dumb,
expectant. I guessed vaguely from my mother's signs and from the
hurrying to and fro in the house that something unusual was about to
happen, so I went to the door and waited on the steps. The afternoon
sun penetrated the mass of honeysuckle that covered the porch, and
fell on my upturned face. My fingers lingered almost unconsciously on
the familiar leaves and blossoms which had just come forth to greet
the sweet southern spring. I did not know what the future held of
marvel or surprise for me. Anger and bitterness had preyed upon me
continually for weeks and a deep languor had succeeded this passionate
struggle.
Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a
tangible white darkness shut you in, and the great ship, tense and
anxious, groped her way toward the shore with plummet and
sounding-line, and you waited with beating heart for something to
happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was
without compass or sounding-line, and had no way of knowing how near
the harbour was. "Light! give me light!" was the wordless cry of my
soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour.
I felt approaching footsteps, I stretched out my hand as I
supposed to my mother. Some one took it, and I was caught up and held
close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and,
more than all things else, to love me.
The morning after my teacher came she led me into her room and
gave me a doll. The little blind children at the Perkins Institution
had sent it and Laura Bridgman had dressed it; but I did not know this
until afterward. When I had played with it a little while, Miss
Sullivan slowly spelled into my hand the word "d-o-l-l." I was at once
interested in this finger play and tried to imitate it. When I finally
succeeded in making the letters correctly I was flushed with childish
pleasure and pride. Running downstairs to my mother I held up my hand
and made the letters for doll. I did not know that I was spelling a
word or even that words existed; I was simply making my fingers go in
monkey-like imitation. In the days that followed I learned to spell in
this uncomprehending way a great many words, among them pin, hat, cup
and a few verbs like sit, stand and walk. But my teacher had been
with me several weeks before I understood that everything has a name.
One day, while I was playing with my new doll, Miss Sullivan put
my big rag doll into my lap also, spelled "d-o-l-l" and tried to make
me understand that "d-o-l-l" applied to both. Earlier in the day we
had had a tussle over the words "m-u-g" and "w-a-t-e-r." Miss Sullivan
had tried to impress it upon me that "m-u-g" is mug and that
"w-a-t-e-r" is water, but I persisted in confounding the two. In
despair she had dropped the subject for the time, only to renew it at
the first opportunity. I became impatient at her repeated attempts
and, seizing the new doll, I dashed it upon the floor. I was keenly
delighted when I felt the fragments of the broken doll at my feet.
Neither sorrow nor regret followed my passionate outburst. I had not
loved the doll. In the still, dark world in which I lived there was no
strong sentiment or tenderness. I felt my teacher sweep the fragments
to one side of the hearth, and I had a sense of satisfaction that the
cause of my discomfort was removed. She brought me my hat, and I knew
I was going out into the warm sunshine. This thought, if a wordless
sensation may be called a thought, made me hop and skip with
pleasure.
We walked down the path to the well-house, attracted by the
fragrance of the honeysuckle with which it was covered. Some one was
drawing water and my teacher placed my hand under the spout. As the
cool stream gushed over one hand she spelled into the other the word
water, first slowly, then rapidly. I stood still, my whole attention
fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty
consciousness as of something forgotten—a thrill of returning
thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I
knew then that "w-a-t-e-r" meant the wonderful cool something that was
flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it
light, hope, joy, set it free! There were barriers still, it is true,
but barriers that could in time be swept away.
I left the well-house eager to learn. Everything had a name, and
each name gave birth to a new thought. As we returned to the house
every object which I touched seemed to quiver with life. That was
because I saw everything with the strange, new sight that had come to
me. On entering the door I remembered the doll I had broken. I felt my
way to the hearth and picked up the pieces. I tried vainly to put them
together. Then my eyes filled with tears; for I realized what I had
done, and for the first time I felt repentance and sorrow.
I learned a great many new words that day. I do not remember what
they all were; but I do know that mother, father, sister, teacher
were among them—words that were to make the world blossom for me,
"like Aaron's rod, with flowers." It would have been difficult to find
a happier child than I was as I lay in my crib at the close of that
eventful day and lived over the joys it had brought me, and for the
first time longed for a new day to come.
I recall many incidents of the summer of 1887 that followed my
soul's sudden awakening. I did nothing but explore with my hands and
learn the name of every object that I touched; and the more I handled
things and learned their names and uses, the more joyous and confident
grew my sense of kinship with the rest of the world.
When the time of daisies and buttercups came Miss Sullivan took me
by the hand across the fields, where men were preparing the earth for
the seed, to the banks of the Tennessee River, and there, sitting on
the warm grass, I had my first lessons in the beneficence of nature. I
learned how the sun and the rain make to grow out of the ground every
tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food, how birds build
their nests and live and thrive from land to land, how the squirrel,
the deer, the lion and every other creature finds food and shelter. As
my knowledge of things grew I felt more and more the delight of the
world I was in. Long before I learned to do a sum in arithmetic or
describe the shape of the earth, Miss Sullivan had taught me to find
beauty in the fragrant woods, in every blade of grass, and in the
curves and dimples of my baby sister's hand. She linked my earliest
thoughts with nature, and made me feel that "birds and flowers and I
were happy peers."
But about this time I had an experience which taught me that
nature is not always kind. One day my teacher and I were returning
from a long ramble. The morning had been fine, but it was growing warm
and sultry when at last we turned our faces homeward. Two or three
times we stopped to rest under a tree by the wayside. Our last halt
was under a wild cherry tree a short distance from the house. The
shade was grateful, and the tree was so easy to climb that with my
teacher's assistance I was able to scramble to a seat in the branches.
It was so cool up in the tree that Miss Sullivan proposed that we have
our luncheon there. I promised to keep still while she went to the
house to fetch it.
Suddenly a change passed over the tree. All the sun's warmth left
the air. I knew the sky was black, because all the heat, which meant
light to me, had died out of the atmosphere. A strange odour came up
from the earth. I knew it, it was the odour that always precedes a
thunderstorm, and a nameless fear clutched at my heart. I felt
absolutely alone, cut off from my friends and the firm earth. The
immense, the unknown, enfolded me. I remained still and expectant; a
chilling terror crept over me. I longed for my teacher's return; but
above all things I wanted to get down from that tree.
There was a moment of sinister silence, then a multitudinous
stirring of the leaves. A shiver ran through the tree, and the wind
sent forth a blast that would have knocked me off had I not clung to
the branch with might and main. The tree swayed and strained. The
small twigs snapped and fell about me in showers. A wild impulse to
jump seized me, but terror held me fast. I crouched down in the fork
of the tree. The branches lashed about me. I felt the intermittent
jarring that came now and then, as if something heavy had fallen and
the shock had traveled up till it reached the limb I sat on. It worked
my suspense up to the highest point, and just as I was thinking the
tree and I should fall together, my teacher seized my hand and helped
me down. I clung to her, trembling with joy to feel the earth under my
feet once more. I had learned a new lesson—that nature "wages open
war against her children, and under softest touch hides treacherous
claws."
After this experience it was a long time before I climbed another
tree. The mere thought filled me with terror. It was the sweet
allurement of the mimosa tree in full bloom that finally overcame my
fears. One beautiful spring morning when I was alone in the
summer-house, reading, I became aware of a wonderful subtle fragrance
in the air. I started up and instinctively stretched out my hands. It
seemed as if the spirit of spring had passed through the summer-house.
"What is it?" I asked, and the next minute I recognized the odour of
the mimosa blossoms. I felt my way to the end of the garden, knowing
that the mimosa tree was near the fence, at the turn of the path. Yes,
there it was, all quivering in the warm sunshine, its blossom-laden
branches almost touching the long grass. Was there ever anything so
exquisitely beautiful in the world before! Its delicate blossoms
shrank from the slightest earthly touch; it seemed as if a tree of
paradise had been transplanted to earth. I made my way through a
shower of petals to the great trunk and for one minute stood
irresolute; then, putting my foot in the broad space between the
forked branches, I pulled myself up into the tree. I had some
difficulty in holding on, for the branches were very large and the
bark hurt my hands. But I had a delicious sense that I was doing
something unusual and wonderful so I kept on climbing higher and
higher, until I reached a little seat which somebody had built there
so long ago that it had grown part of the tree itself. I sat there
for a long, long time, feeling like a fairy on a rosy cloud. After
that I spent many happy hours in my tree of paradise, thinking fair
thoughts and dreaming bright dreams.
I had now the key to all language, and I was eager to learn to use
it. Children who hear acquire language without any particular effort;
the words that fall from others' lips they catch on the wing, as it
were, delightedly, while the little deaf child must trap them by a
slow and often painful process. But whatever the process, the result
is wonderful. Gradually from naming an object we advance step by step
until we have traversed the vast distance between our first stammered
syllable and the sweep of thought in a line of Shakespeare.
At first, when my teacher told me about a new thing I asked very
few questions. My ideas were vague, and my vocabulary was inadequate;
but as my knowledge of things grew, and I learned more and more words,
my field of inquiry broadened, and I would return again and again to
the same subject, eager for further information. Sometimes a new word
revived an image that some earlier experience had engraved on my
brain.
I remember the morning that I first asked the meaning of the word,
"love." This was before I knew many words. I had found a few early
violets in the garden and brought them to my teacher. She tried to
kiss me: but at that time I did not like to have any one kiss me
except my mother. Miss Sullivan put her arm gently round me and
spelled into my hand, "I love Helen."
"What is love?" I asked.
She drew me closer to her and said, "It is here," pointing to my
heart, whose beats I was conscious of for the first time. Her words
puzzled me very much because I did not then understand anything unless
I touched it.
I smelt the violets in her hand and asked, half in words, half in
signs, a question which meant, "Is love the sweetness of flowers?"
"No," said my teacher.
Again I thought. The warm sun was shining on us.
"Is this not love?" I asked, pointing in the direction from which
the heat came. "Is this not love?"
It seemed to me that there could be nothing more beautiful than
the sun, whose warmth makes all things grow. But Miss Sullivan shook
her head, and I was greatly puzzled and disappointed. I thought it
strange that my teacher could not show me love.
A day or two afterward I was stringing beads of different sizes in
symmetrical groups—two large beads, three small ones, and so on. I
had made many mistakes, and Miss Sullivan had pointed them out again
and again with gentle patience. Finally I noticed a very obvious error
in the sequence and for an instant I concentrated my attention on the
lesson and tried to think how I should have arranged the beads. Miss
Sullivan touched my forehead and spelled with decided emphasis,
"Think."
In a flash I knew that the word was the name of the process that
was going on in my head. This was my first conscious perception of an
abstract idea.
For a long time I was still—I was not thinking of the beads in my
lap, but trying to find a meaning for "love" in the light of this new
idea. The sun had been under a cloud all day, and there had been brief
showers; but suddenly the sun broke forth in all its southern
splendour.
Again I asked my teacher, "Is this not love?"
"Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the
sun came out," she replied. Then in simpler words than these, which at
that time I could not have understood, she explained: "You cannot
touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad
the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You
cannot touch love either; but you feel the sweetness that it pours
into everything. Without love you would not be happy or want to play."
The beautiful truth burst upon my mind—I felt that there were
invisible lines stretched between my spirit and the spirits of
others.
From the beginning of my education Miss Sullivan made it a
practice to speak to me as she would speak to any hearing child; the
only difference was that she spelled the sentences into my hand
instead of speaking them. If I did not know the words and idioms
necessary to express my thoughts she supplied them, even suggesting
conversation when I was unable to keep up my end of the dialogue.
This process was continued for several years; for the deaf child
does not learn in a month, or even in two or three years, the
numberless idioms and expressions used in the simplest daily
intercourse. The little hearing child learns these from constant
repetition and imitation. The conversation he hears in his home
stimulates his mind and suggests topics and calls forth the
spontaneous expression of his own thoughts. This natural exchange of
ideas is denied to the deaf child. My teacher, realizing this,
determined to supply the kinds of stimulus I lacked. This she did by
repeating to me as far as possible, verbatim, what she heard, and by
showing me how I could take part in the conversation. But it was a
long time before I ventured to take the initiative, and still longer
before I could find something appropriate to say at the right time.
The deaf and the blind find it very difficult to acquire the
amenities of conversation. How much more this difficulty must be
augmented in the case of those who are both deaf and blind! They
cannot distinguish the tone of the voice or, without assistance, go
up and down the gamut of tones that give significance to words; nor
can they watch the expression of the speaker's face, and a look is
often the very soul of what one says.
The next important step in my education was learning to read.
As soon as I could spell a few words my teacher gave me slips of
cardboard on which were printed words in raised letters. I quickly
learned that each printed word stood for an object, an act, or a
quality. I had a frame in which I could arrange the words in little
sentences; but before I ever put sentences in the frame I used to make
them in objects. I found the slips of paper which represented, for
example, "doll," "is," "on," "bed" and placed each name on its object;
then I put my doll on the bed with the words is, on, bed arranged
beside the doll, thus making a sentence of the words, and at the same
time carrying out the idea of the sentence with the things themselves.
One day, Miss Sullivan tells me, I pinned the word girl on my
pinafore and stood in the wardrobe. On the shelf I arranged the
words, is, in, wardrobe. Nothing delighted me so much as this game.
My teacher and I played it for hours at a time. Often everything in
the room was arranged in object sentences.
From the printed slip it was but a step to the printed book. I
took my "Reader for Beginners" and hunted for the words I knew; when
I found them my joy was like that of a game of hide-and-seek. Thus I
began to read. Of the time when I began to read connected stories I
shall speak later.
For a long time I had no regular lessons. Even when I studied most
earnestly it seemed more like play than work. Everything Miss Sullivan
taught me she illustrated by a beautiful story or a poem. Whenever
anything delighted or interested me she talked it over with me just as
if she were a little girl herself. What many children think of with
dread, as a painful plodding through grammar, hard sums and harder
definitions, is to-day one of my most precious memories.
I cannot explain the peculiar sympathy Miss Sullivan had with my
pleasures and desires. Perhaps it was the result of long association
with the blind. Added to this she had a wonderful faculty for
description. She went quickly over uninteresting details, and never
nagged me with questions to see if I remembered the
day-before-yesterday's lesson. She introduced dry technicalities of
science little by little, making every subject so real that I could
not help remembering what she taught.
We read and studied out of doors, preferring the sunlit woods to
the house. All my early lessons have in them the breath of the
woods—the fine, resinous odour of pine needles, blended with the
perfume of wild grapes. Seated in the gracious shade of a wild tulip
tree, I learned to think that everything has a lesson and a
suggestion. "The loveliness of things taught me all their use."
Indeed, everything that could hum, or buzz, or sing, or bloom had a
part in my education-noisy-throated frogs, katydids and crickets held
in my hand until forgetting their embarrassment, they trilled their
reedy note, little downy chickens and wildflowers, the dogwood
blossoms, meadow-violets and budding fruit trees. I felt the bursting
cotton-bolls and fingered their soft fiber and fuzzy seeds; I felt the
low soughing of the wind through the cornstalks, the silky rustling of
the long leaves, and the indignant snort of my pony, as we caught him
in the pasture and put the bit in his mouth—ah me! how well I
remember the spicy, clovery smell of his breath!
Sometimes I rose at dawn and stole into the garden while the heavy
dew lay on the grass and flowers. Few know what joy it is to feel the
roses pressing softly into the hand, or the beautiful motion of the
lilies as they sway in the morning breeze. Sometimes I caught an
insect in the flower I was plucking, and I felt the faint noise of a
pair of wings rubbed together in a sudden terror, as the little
creature became aware of a pressure from without.
Another favourite haunt of mine was the orchard, where the fruit
ripened early in July. The large, downy peaches would reach
themselves into my hand, and as the joyous breezes flew about the
trees the apples tumbled at my feet. Oh, the delight with which I
gathered up the fruit in my pinafore, pressed my face against the
smooth cheeks of the apples, still warm from the sun, and skipped
back to the house!
Our favourite walk was to Keller's Landing, an old tumbledown
lumber-wharf on the Tennessee River, used during the Civil War to
land soldiers. There we spent many happy hours and played at learning
geography. I built dams of pebbles, made islands and lakes, and dug
river-beds, all for fun, and never dreamed that I was learning a
lesson. I listened with increasing wonder to Miss Sullivan's
descriptions of the great round world with its burning mountains,
buried cities, moving rivers of ice, and many other things as strange.
She made raised maps in clay, so that I could feel the mountain ridges
and valleys, and follow with my fingers the devious course of rivers.
I liked this, too; but the division of the earth into zones and poles
confused and teased my mind. The illustrative strings and the orange
stick representing the poles seemed so real that even to this day the
mere mention of temperate zone suggests a series of twine circles; and
I believe that if any one should set about it he could convince me
that white bears actually climb the North Pole.
Arithmetic seems to have been the only study I did not like. From
the first I was not interested in the science of numbers. Miss
Sullivan tried to teach me to count by stringing beads in groups, and
by arranging kintergarten straws I learned to add and subtract. I
never had patience to arrange more than five or six groups at a time.
When I had accomplished this my conscience was at rest for the day,
and I went out quickly to find my playmates.
In this same leisurely manner I studied zoology and botany.
Once a gentleman, whose name I have forgotten, sent me a
collection of fossils—tiny mollusk shells beautifully marked, and
bits of sandstone with the print of birds' claws, and a lovely fern in
bas-relief. These were the keys which unlocked the treasures of the
antediluvian world for me. With trembling fingers I listened to Miss
Sullivan's descriptions of the terrible beasts, with uncouth,
unpronounceable names, which once went tramping through the primeval
forests, tearing down the branches of gigantic trees for food, and
died in the dismal swamps of an unknown age. For a long time these
strange creatures haunted my dreams, and this gloomy period formed a
somber background to the joyous Now, filled with sunshine and roses
and echoing with the gentle beat of my pony's hoof.
Another time a beautiful shell was given me, and with a child's
surprise and delight I learned how a tiny mollusk had built the
lustrous coil for his dwelling place, and how on still nights, when
there is no breeze stirring the waves, the Nautilus sails on the blue
waters of the Indian Ocean in his "ship of pearl." After I had learned
a great many interesting things about the life and habits of the
children of the sea—how in the midst of dashing waves the little
polyps build the beautiful coral isles of the Pacific, and the
foraminifera have made the chalk-hills of many a land—my teacher read
me "The Chambered Nautilus," and showed me that the shell-building
process of the mollusks is symbolical of the development of the mind.
Just as the wonder-working mantle of the Nautilus changes the material
it absorbs from the water and makes it a part of itself, so the bits
of knowledge one gathers undergo a similar change and become pearls of
thought.
Again, it was the growth of a plant that furnished the text for a
lesson. We bought a lily and set it in a sunny window. Very soon the
green, pointed buds showed signs of opening. The slender, fingerlike
leaves on the outside opened slowly, reluctant, I thought, to reveal
the loveliness they hid; once having made a start, however, the
opening process went on rapidly, but in order and systematically.
There was always one bud larger and more beautiful than the rest,
which pushed her outer, covering back with more pomp, as if the beauty
in soft, silky robes knew that she was the lily-queen by right divine,
while her more timid sisters doffed their green hoods shyly, until the
whole plant was one nodding bough of loveliness and fragrance.
Once there were eleven tadpoles in a glass globe set in a window
full of plants. I remember the eagerness with which I made
discoveries about them. It was great fun to plunge my hand into the
bowl and feel the tadpoles frisk about, and to let them slip and slide
between my fingers. One day a more ambitious fellow leaped beyond the
edge of the bowl and fell on the floor, where I found him to all
appearance more dead than alive. The only sign of life was a slight
wriggling of his tail. But no sooner had he returned to his element
than he darted to the bottom, swimming round and round in joyous
activity. He had made his leap, he had seen the great world, and was
content to stay in his pretty glass house under the big fuchsia tree
until he attained the dignity of froghood. Then he went to live in the
leafy pool at the end of the garden, where he made the summer nights
musical with his quaint love-song.
Thus I learned from life itself. At the beginning I was only a
little mass of possibilities. It was my teacher who unfolded and
developed them. When she came, everything about me breathed of love
and joy and was full of meaning. She has never since let pass an
opportunity to point out the beauty that is in everything, nor has she
ceased trying in thought and action and example to make my life sweet
and useful.
It was my teacher's genius, her quick sympathy, her loving tact
which made the first years of my education so beautiful. It was
because she seized the right moment to impart knowledge that made it
so pleasant and acceptable to me. She realized that a child's mind is
like a shallow brook which ripples and dances merrily over the stony
course of its education and reflects here a flower, there a bush,
yonder a fleecy cloud; and she attempted to guide my mind on its way,
knowing that like a brook it should be fed by mountain streams and
hidden springs, until it broadened out into a deep river, capable of
reflecting in its placid surface, billowy hills, the luminous shadows
of trees and the blue heavens, as well as the sweet face of a little
flower.
Any teacher can take a child to the classroom, but not every
teacher can make him learn. He will not work joyously unless he feels
that liberty is his, whether he is busy or at rest; he must feel the
flush of victory and the heart-sinking of disappointment before he
takes with a will the tasks distasteful to him and resolves to dance
his way bravely through a dull routine of textbooks.
My teacher is so near to me that I scarcely think of myself apart
from her. How much of my delight in all beautiful things is innate,
and how much is due to her influence, I can never tell. I feel that
her being is inseparable from my own, and that the footsteps of my
life are in hers. All the best of me belongs to her—there is not a
talent, or an aspiration or a joy in me that has not been awakened by
her loving touch.
The first Christmas after Miss Sullivan came to Tuscumbia was a
great event. Every one in the family prepared surprises for me, but
what pleased me most, Miss Sullivan and I prepared surprises for
everybody else. The mystery that surrounded the gifts was my greatest
delight and amusement. My friends did all they could to excite my
curiosity by hints and half-spelled sentences which they pretended to
break off in the nick of time. Miss Sullivan and I kept up a game of
guessing which taught me more about the use of language than any set
lessons could have done. Every evening, seated round a glowing wood
fire, we played our guessing game, which grew more and more exciting
as Christmas approached.
On Christmas Eve the Tuscumbia schoolchildren had their tree, to
which they invited me. In the centre of the schoolroom stood a
beautiful tree ablaze and shimmering in the soft light, its branches
loaded with strange, wonderful fruit. It was a moment of supreme
happiness. I danced and capered round the tree in an ecstasy. When I
learned that there was a gift for each child, I was delighted, and the
kind people who had prepared the tree permitted me to hand the
presents to the children. In the pleasure of doing this, I did not
stop to look at my own gifts; but when I was ready for them, my
impatience for the real Christmas to begin almost got beyond control.
I knew the gifts I already had were not those of which friends had
thrown out such tantalizing hints, and my teacher said the presents I
was to have would be even nicer than these. I was persuaded, however,
to content myself with the gifts from the tree and leave the others
until morning.
That night, after I had hung my stocking, I lay awake a long time,
pretending to be asleep and keeping alert to see what Santa Claus
would do when he came. At last I fell asleep with a new doll and a
white bear in my arms. Next morning it was I who waked the whole
family with my first "Merry Christmas!" I found surprises, not in the
stocking only, but on the table, on all the chairs, at the door, on
the very window-sill; indeed, I could hardly walk without stumbling on
a bit of Christmas wrapped up in tissue paper. But when my teacher
presented me with a canary, my cup of happiness overflowed.
Little Tim was so tame that he would hop on my finger and eat
candied cherries out of my hand. Miss Sullivan taught me to take all
the care of my new pet. Every morning after breakfast I prepared his
bath, made his cage clean and sweet, filled his cups with fresh seed
and water from the well-house, and hung a spray of chickweed in his
swing.
One morning I left the cage on the window-seat while I went to
fetch water for his bath. When I returned I felt a big cat brush past
me as I opened the door. At first I did not realize what had happened;
but when I put my hand in the cage and Tim's pretty wings did not meet
my touch or his small pointed claws take hold of my finger, I knew
that I should never see my sweet little singer again.
The next important event in my life was my visit to Boston, in
May, 1888. As if it were yesterday I remember the preparations, the
departure with my teacher and my mother, the journey, and finally the
arrival in Boston. How different this journey was from the one I had
made to Baltimore two years before! I was no longer a restless,
excitable little creature, requiring the attention of everybody on the
train to keep me amused. I sat quietly beside Miss Sullivan, taking in
with eager interest all that she told me about what she saw out of the
car window: the beautiful Tennessee River, the great cotton-fields,
the hills and woods, and the crowds of laughing negroes at the
stations, who waved to the people on the train and brought delicious
candy and popcorn balls through the car. On the seat opposite me sat
my big rag doll, Nancy, in a new gingham dress and a beruffled
sunbonnet, looking at me out of two bead eyes. Sometimes, when I was
not absorbed in Miss Sullivan's descriptions, I remembered Nancy's
existence and took her up in my arms, but I generally calmed my
conscience by making myself believe that she was asleep.
As I shall not have occasion to refer to Nancy again, I wish to
tell here a sad experience she had soon after our arrival in Boston.
She was covered with dirt—the remains of mud pies I had compelled her
to eat, although she had never shown any special liking for them. The
laundress at the Perkins Institution secretly carried her off to give
her a bath. This was too much for poor Nancy. When I next saw her she
was a formless heap of cotton, which I should not have recognized at
all except for the two bead eyes which looked out at me reproachfully.
When the train at last pulled into the station at Boston it was as
if a beautiful fairy tale had come true. The "once upon a time" was
now; the "far-away country" was here.
We had scarcely arrived at the Perkins Institution for the Blind
when I began to make friends with the little blind children. It
delighted me inexpressibly to find that they knew the manual
alphabet. What joy to talk with other children in my own language!
Until then I had been like a foreigner speaking through an
interpreter. In the school where Laura Bridgman was taught I was in my
own country. It took me some time to appreciate the fact that my new
friends were blind. I knew I could not see; but it did not seem
possible that all the eager, loving children who gathered round me and
joined heartily in my frolics were also blind. I remember the surprise
and the pain I felt as I noticed that they placed their hands over
mine when I talked to them and that they read books with their
fingers. Although I had been told this before, and although I
understood my own deprivations, yet I had thought vaguely that since
they could hear, they must have a sort of "second sight," and I was
not prepared to find one child and another and yet another deprived of
the same precious gift. But they were so happy and contented that I
lost all sense of pain in the pleasure of their companionship.
One day spent with the blind children made me feel thoroughly at
home in my new environment, and I looked eagerly from one pleasant
experience to another as the days flew swiftly by. I could not quite
convince myself that there was much world left, for I regarded Boston
as the beginning and the end of creation.
While we were in Boston we visited Bunker Hill, and there I had my
first lesson in history. The story of the brave men who had fought on
the spot where we stood excited me greatly. I climbed the monument,
counting the steps, and wondering as I went higher and yet higher if
the soldiers had climbed this great stairway and shot at the enemy on
the ground below.
The next day we went to Plymouth by water. This was my first trip
on the ocean and my first voyage in a steamboat. How full of life and
motion it was! But the rumble of the machinery made me think it was
thundering, and I began to cry, because I feared if it rained we
should not be able to have our picnic out of doors. I was more
interested, I think, in the great rock on which the Pilgrims landed
than in anything else in Plymouth. I could touch it, and perhaps that
made the coming of the Pilgrims and their toils and great deeds seem
more real to me. I have often held in my hand a little model of the
Plymouth Rock which a kind gentleman gave me at Pilgrim Hall, and I
have fingered its curves, the split in the centre and the embossed
figures "1620," and turned over in my mind all that I knew about the
wonderful story of the Pilgrims.
How my childish imagination glowed with the splendour of their
enterprise! I idealized them as the bravest and most generous men
that ever sought a home in a strange land. I thought they desired the
freedom of their fellow men as well as their own. I was keenly
surprised and disappointed years later to learn of their acts of
persecution that make us tingle with shame, even while we glory in the
courage and energy that gave us our "Country Beautiful."
Among the many friends I made in Boston were Mr. William Endicott
and his daughter. Their kindness to me was the seed from which many
pleasant memories have since grown. One day we visited their beautiful
home at Beverly Farms. I remember with delight how I went through
their rose-garden, how their dogs, big Leo and little curly-haired
Fritz with long ears, came to meet me, and how Nimrod, the swiftest of
the horses, poked his nose into my hands for a pat and a lump of
sugar. I also remember the beach, where for the first time I played in
the sand. It was hard, smooth sand, very different from the loose,
sharp sand, mingled with kelp and shells, at Brewster. Mr. Endicott
told me about the great ships that came sailing by from Boston, bound
for Europe. I saw him many times after that, and he was always a good
friend to me; indeed, I was thinking of him when I called Boston "the
City of Kind Hearts."
Just before the Perkins Institution closed for the summer, it was
arranged that my teacher and I should spend our vacation at Brewster,
on Cape Cod, with our dear friend, Mrs. Hopkins. I was delighted, for
my mind was full of the prospective joys and of the wonderful stories
I had heard about the sea.
My most vivid recollection of that summer is the ocean. I had
always lived far inland and had never had so much as a whiff of salt
air; but I had read in a big book called "Our World" a description of
the ocean which filled me with wonder and an intense longing to touch
the mighty sea and feel it roar. So my little heart leaped high with
eager excitement when I knew that my wish was at last to be realized.
No sooner had I been helped into my bathing-suit than I sprang out
upon the warm sand and without thought of fear plunged into the cool
water. I felt the great billows rock and sink. The buoyant motion of
the water filled me with an exquisite, quivering joy. Suddenly my
ecstasy gave place to terror; for my foot struck against a rock and
the next instant there was a rush of water over my head. I thrust out
my hands to grasp some support, I clutched at the water and at the
seaweed which the waves tossed in my face. But all my frantic efforts
were in vain. The waves seemed to be playing a game with me, and
tossed me from one to another in their wild frolic. It was fearful!
The good, firm earth had slipped from my feet, and everything seemed
shut out from this strange, all-enveloping element—life, air, warmth
and love. At last, however, the sea, as if weary of its new toy,
threw me back on the shore, and in another instant I was clasped in
my teacher's arms. Oh, the comfort of the long, tender embrace! As
soon as I had recovered from my panic sufficiently to say anything, I
demanded: "Who put salt in the water?"
After I had recovered from my first experience in the water, I
thought it great fun to sit on a big rock in my bathing-suit and feel
wave after wave dash against the rock, sending up a shower of spray
which quite covered me. I felt the pebbles rattling as the waves threw
their ponderous weight against the shore; the whole beach seemed
racked by their terrific onset, and the air throbbed with their
pulsations. The breakers would swoop back to gather themselves for a
mightier leap, and I clung to the rock, tense, fascinated, as I felt
the dash and roar of the rushing sea!
I could never stay long enough on the shore. The tang of the
untainted, fresh and free sea air was like a cool, quieting thought,
and the shells and pebbles and the seaweed with tiny living creatures
attached to it never lost their fascination for me. One day Miss
Sullivan attracted my attention to a strange object which she had
captured basking in the shallow water. It was a great horseshoe
crab—the first one I had ever seen. I felt of him and thought it very
strange that he should carry his house on his back. It suddenly
occurred to me that he might make a delightful pet; so I seized him by
the tail with both hands and carried him home. This feat pleased me
highly, as his body was very heavy, and it took all my strength to
drag him half a mile. I would not leave Miss Sullivan in peace until
she had put the crab in a trough near the well where I was confident
he would be secure. But next morning I went to the trough, and lo, he
had disappeared! Nobody knew where he had gone, or how he had
escaped. My disappointment was bitter at the time; but little by
little I came to realize that it was not kind or wise to force this
poor dumb creature out of his element, and after awhile I felt happy
in the thought that perhaps he had returned to the sea.
In the autumn I returned to my Southern home with a heart full of
joyous memories. As I recall that visit North I am filled with wonder
at the richness and variety of the experiences that cluster about it.
It seems to have been the beginning of everything. The treasures of a
new, beautiful world were laid at my feet, and I took in pleasure and
information at every turn. I lived myself into all things. I was never
still a moment; my life was as full of motion as those little insects
that crowd a whole existence into one brief day. I met many people who
talked with me by spelling into my hand, and thought in joyous
sympathy leaped up to meet thought, and behold, a miracle had been
wrought! The barren places between my mind and the minds of others
blossomed like the rose.
I spent the autumn months with my family at our summer cottage, on
a mountain about fourteen miles from Tuscumbia. It was called Fern
Quarry, because near it there was a limestone quarry, long since
abandoned. Three frolicsome little streams ran through it from springs
in the rocks above, leaping here and tumbling there in laughing
cascades wherever the rocks tried to bar their way. The opening was
filled with ferns which completely covered the beds of limestone and
in places hid the streams. The rest of the mountain was thickly
wooded. Here were great oaks and splendid evergreens with trunks like
mossy pillars, from the branches of which hung garlands of ivy and
mistletoe, and persimmon trees, the odour of which pervaded every nook
and corner of the wood—an illusive, fragrant something that made the
heart glad. In places the wild muscadine and scuppernong vines
stretched from tree to tree, making arbours which were always full of
butterflies and buzzing insects. It was delightful to lose ourselves
in the green hollows of that tangled wood in the late afternoon, and
to smell the cool, delicious odours that came up from the earth at the
close of day.
Our cottage was a sort of rough camp, beautifully situated on the
top of the mountain among oaks and pines. The small rooms were
arranged on each side of a long open hall. Round the house was a wide
piazza, where the mountain winds blew, sweet with all wood-scents. We
lived on the piazza most of the time—there we worked, ate and played.
At the back door there was a great butternut tree, round which the
steps had been built, and in front the trees stood so close that I
could touch them and feel the wind shake their branches, or the leaves
twirl downward in the autumn blast.
Many visitors came to Fern Quarry. In the evening, by the
campfire, the men played cards and whiled away the hours in talk and
sport. They told stories of their wonderful feats with fowl, fish and
quadruped—how many wild ducks and turkeys they had shot, what "savage
trout" they had caught, and how they had bagged the craftiest foxes,
outwitted the most clever 'possums and overtaken the fleetest deer,
until I thought that surely the lion, the tiger, the bear and the rest
of the wild tribe would not be able to stand before these wily
hunters. "To-morrow to the chase!" was their good-night shout as the
circle of merry friends broke up for the night. The men slept in the
hall outside our door, and I could feel the deep breathing of the dogs
and the hunters as they lay on their improvised beds.
At dawn I was awakened by the smell of coffee, the rattling of
guns, and the heavy footsteps of the men as they strode about,
promising themselves the greatest luck of the season. I could also
feel the stamping of the horses, which they had ridden out from town
and hitched under the trees, where they stood all night, neighing
loudly, impatient to be off. At last the men mounted, and, as they say
in the old songs, away went the steeds with bridles ringing and whips
cracking and hounds racing ahead, and away went the champion hunters
"with hark and whoop and wild halloo!"
Later in the morning we made preparations for a barbecue. A fire
was kindled at the bottom of a deep hole in the ground, big sticks
were laid crosswise at the top, and meat was hung from them and turned
on spits. Around the fire squatted negroes, driving away the flies
with long branches. The savoury odour of the meat made me hungry long
before the tables were set.
When the bustle and excitement of preparation was at its height,
the hunting party made its appearance, struggling in by twos and
threes, the men hot and weary, the horses covered with foam, and the
jaded hounds panting and dejected—and not a single kill! Every man
declared that he had seen at least one deer, and that the animal had
come very close; but however hotly the dogs might pursue the game,
however well the guns might be aimed, at the snap of the trigger there
was not a deer in sight. They had been as fortunate as the little boy
who said he came very near seeing a rabbit—he saw his tracks. The
party soon forgot its disappointment, however, and we sat down, not to
venison, but to a tamer feast of veal and roast pig.
One summer I had my pony at Fern Quarry. I called him Black
Beauty, as I had just read the book, and he resembled his namesake in
every way, from his glossy black coat to the white star on his
forehead. I spent many of my happiest hours on his back. Occasionally,
when it was quite safe, my teacher would let go the leading-rein, and
the pony sauntered on or stopped at his sweet will to eat grass or
nibble the leaves of the trees that grew beside the narrow trail.
On mornings when I did not care for the ride, my teacher and I
would start after breakfast for a ramble in the woods, and allow
ourselves to get lost amid the trees and vines, with no road to
follow except the paths made by cows and horses. Frequently we came
upon impassable thickets which forced us to take a round about way. We
always returned to the cottage with armfuls of laurel, goldenrod,
ferns and gorgeous swamp-flowers such as grow only in the South.
Sometimes I would go with Mildred and my little cousins to gather
persimmons. I did not eat them; but I loved their fragrance and
enjoyed hunting for them in the leaves and grass. We also went
nutting, and I helped them open the chestnut burrs and break the
shells of hickory-nuts and walnuts—the big, sweet walnuts!
At the foot of the mountain there was a railroad, and the children
watched the trains whiz by. Sometimes a terrific whistle brought us to
the steps, and Mildred told me in great excitement that a cow or a
horse had strayed on the track. About a mile distant there was a
trestle spanning a deep gorge. It was very difficult to walk over, the
ties were wide apart and so narrow that one felt as if one were
walking on knives. I had never crossed it until one day Mildred, Miss
Sullivan and I were lost in the woods, and wandered for hours without
finding a path.
Suddenly Mildred pointed with her little hand and exclaimed,
"There's the trestle!" We would have taken any way rather than this;
but it was late and growing dark, and the trestle was a short cut
home. I had to feel for the rails with my toe; but I was not afraid,
and got on very well, until all at once there came a faint "puff,
puff" from the distance.
"I see the train!" cried Mildred, and in another minute it would
have been upon us had we not climbed down on the crossbraces while it
rushed over our heads. I felt the hot breath from the engine on my
face, and the smoke and ashes almost choked us. As the train rumbled
by, the trestle shook and swayed until I thought we should be dashed
to the chasm below. With the utmost difficulty we regained the track.
Long after dark we reached home and found the cottage empty; the
family were all out hunting for us.
After my first visit to Boston, I spent almost every winter in the
North. Once I went on a visit to a New England village with its frozen
lakes and vast snow fields. It was then that I had opportunities such
as had never been mine to enter into the treasures of the snow.
I recall my surprise on discovering that a mysterious hand had
stripped the trees and bushes, leaving only here and there a wrinkled
leaf. The birds had flown, and their empty nests in the bare trees
were filled with snow. Winter was on hill and field. The earth seemed
benumbed by his icy touch, and the very spirits of the trees had
withdrawn to their roots, and there, curled up in the dark, lay fast
asleep. All life seemed to have ebbed away, and even when the sun
shone the day was
Shrunk and cold, As if her veins were sapless and old, And she
rose up decrepitly For a last dim look at earth and sea.
The withered grass and the bushes were transformed into a forest
of icicles.
Then came a day when the chill air portended a snowstorm. We
rushed out-of-doors to feel the first few tiny flakes descending.
Hour by hour the flakes dropped silently, softly from their airy
height to the earth, and the country became more and more level. A
snowy night closed upon the world, and in the morning one could
scarcely recognize a feature of the landscape. All the roads were
hidden, not a single landmark was visible, only a waste of snow with
trees rising out of it.
In the evening a wind from the northeast sprang up, and the flakes
rushed hither and thither in furious melee. Around the great fire we
sat and told merry tales, and frolicked, and quite forgot that we were
in the midst of a desolate solitude, shut in from all communication
with the outside world. But during the night the fury of the wind
increased to such a degree that it thrilled us with a vague terror.
The rafters creaked and strained, and the branches of the trees
surrounding the house rattled and beat against the windows, as the
winds rioted up and down the country.
On the third day after the beginning of the storm the snow ceased.
The sun broke through the clouds and shone upon a vast, undulating
white plain. High mounds, pyramids heaped in fantastic shapes, and
impenetrable drifts lay scattered in every direction.
Narrow paths were shoveled through the drifts. I put on my cloak
and hood and went out. The air stung my cheeks like fire. Half
walking in the paths, half working our way through the lesser drifts,
we succeeded in reaching a pine grove just outside a broad pasture.
The trees stood motionless and white like figures in a marble frieze.
There was no odour of pine-needles. The rays of the sun fell upon the
trees, so that the twigs sparkled like diamonds and dropped in showers
when we touched them. So dazzling was the light, it penetrated even
the darkness that veils my eyes.
As the days wore on, the drifts gradually shrunk, but before they
were wholly gone another storm came, so that I scarcely felt the
earth under my feet once all winter. At intervals the trees lost
their icy covering, and the bulrushes and underbrush were bare; but
the lake lay frozen and hard beneath the sun.
Our favourite amusement during that winter was tobogganing. In
places the shore of the lake rises abruptly from the water's edge.
Down these steep slopes we used to coast. We would get on our
toboggan, a boy would give us a shove, and off we went! Plunging
through drifts, leaping hollows, swooping down upon the lake, we would
shoot across its gleaming surface to the opposite bank. What joy! What
exhilarating madness! For one wild, glad moment we snapped the chain
that binds us to earth, and joining hands with the winds we felt
ourselves divine!
It was in the spring of 1890 that I learned to speak. The impulse
to utter audible sounds had always been strong within me. I used to
make noises, keeping one hand on my throat while the other hand felt
the movements of my lips. I was pleased with anything that made a
noise and liked to feel the cat purr and the dog bark. I also liked to
keep my hand on a singer's throat, or on a piano when it was being
played. Before I lost my sight and hearing, I was fast learning to
talk, but after my illness it was found that I had ceased to speak
because I could not hear. I used to sit in my mother's lap all day
long and keep my hands on her face because it amused me to feel the
motions of her lips; and I moved my lips, too, although I had
forgotten what talking was. My friends say that I laughed and cried
naturally, and for awhile I made many sounds and word-elements, not
because they were a means of communication, but because the need of
exercising my vocal organs was imperative. There was, however, one
word the meaning of which I still remembered, WATER. I pronounced it
"wa-wa." Even this became less and less intelligible until the time
when Miss Sullivan began to teach me. I stopped using it only after I
had learned to spell the word on my fingers.
I had known for a long time that the people about me used a method
of communication different from mine; and even before I knew that a
deaf child could be taught to speak, I was conscious of
dissatisfaction with the means of communication I already possessed.
One who is entirely dependent upon the manual alphabet has always a
sense of restraint, of narrowness. This feeling began to agitate me
with a vexing, forward-reaching sense of a lack that should be filled.
My thoughts would often rise and beat up like birds against the wind,
and I persisted in using my lips and voice. Friends tried to
discourage this tendency, fearing lest it would lead to
disappointment. But I persisted, and an accident soon occurred which
resulted in the breaking down of this great barrier—I heard the story
of Ragnhild Kaata.
In 1890 Mrs. Lamson, who had been one of Laura Bridgman's
teachers, and who had just returned from a visit to Norway and
Sweden, came to see me, and told me of Ragnhild Kaata, a deaf and
blind girl in Norway who had actually been taught to speak. Mrs.
Lamson had scarcely finished telling me about this girl's success
before I was on fire with eagerness. I resolved that I, too, would
learn to speak. I would not rest satisfied until my teacher took me,
for advice and assistance, to Miss Sarah Fuller, principal of the
Horace Mann School. This lovely, sweet-natured lady offered to teach
me herself, and we began the twenty-sixth of March, 1890.
Miss Fuller's method was this: she passed my hand lightly over her
face, and let me feel the position of her tongue and lips when she
made a sound. I was eager to imitate every motion and in an hour had
learned six elements of speech: M, P, A, S, T, I. Miss Fuller gave me
eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I
felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, "It is warm." True,
they were broken and stammering syllables; but they were human speech.
My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was
reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and
all faith.
No deaf child who has earnestly tried to speak the words which he
has never heard—to come out of the prison of silence, where no tone
of love, no song of bird, no strain of music ever pierces the
stillness—can forget the thrill of surprise, the joy of discovery
which came over him when he uttered his first word. Only such a one
can appreciate the eagerness with which I talked to my toys, to
stones, trees, birds and dumb animals, or the delight I felt when at
my call Mildred ran to me or my dogs obeyed my commands. It is an
unspeakable boon to me to be able to speak in winged words that need
no interpretation. As I talked, happy thoughts fluttered up out of my
words that might perhaps have struggled in vain to escape my fingers.
But it must not be supposed that I could really talk in this short
time. I had learned only the elements of speech. Miss Fuller and Miss
Sullivan could understand me, but most people would not have
understood one word in a hundred. Nor is it true that, after I had
learned these elements, I did the rest of the work myself. But for
Miss Sullivan's genius, untiring perseverance and devotion, I could
not have progressed as far as I have toward natural speech. In the
first place, I laboured night and day before I could be understood
even by my most intimate friends; in the second place, I needed Miss
Sullivan's assistance constantly in my efforts to articulate each
sound clearly and to combine all sounds in a thousand ways. Even now
she calls my attention every day to mispronounced words.
All teachers of the deaf know what this means, and only they can
at all appreciate the peculiar difficulties with which I had to
contend. In reading my teacher's lips I was wholly dependent on my
fingers: I had to use the sense of touch in catching the vibrations of
the throat, the movements of the mouth and the expression of the face;
and often this sense was at fault. In such cases I was forced to
repeat the words or sentences, sometimes for hours, until I felt the
proper ring in my own voice. My work was practice, practice, practice.
Discouragement and weariness cast me down frequently; but the next
moment the thought that I should soon be at home and show my loved
ones what I had accomplished, spurred me on, and I eagerly looked
forward to their pleasure in my achievement.
"My little sister will understand me now," was a thought stronger
than all obstacles. I used to repeat ecstatically, "I am not dumb
now." I could not be despondent while I anticipated the delight of
talking to my mother and reading her responses from her lips. It
astonished me to find how much easier it is to talk than to spell with
the fingers, and I discarded the manual alphabet as a medium of
communication on my part; but Miss Sullivan and a few friends still
use it in speaking to me, for it is more convenient and more rapid
than lip-reading.
Just here, perhaps, I had better explain our use of the manual
alphabet, which seems to puzzle people who do not know us. One who
reads or talks to me spells with his hand, using the single-hand
manual alphabet generally employed by the deaf. I place my hand on the
hand of the speaker so lightly as not to impede its movements. The
position of the hand is as easy to feel as it is to see. I do not feel
each letter any more than you see each letter separately when you
read. Constant practice makes the fingers very flexible, and some of
my friends spell rapidly—about as fast as an expert writes on a
typewriter. The mere spelling is, of course, no more a conscious act
than it is in writing.
When I had made speech my own, I could not wait to go home. At
last the happiest of happy moments arrived. I had made my homeward
journey, talking constantly to Miss Sullivan, not for the sake of
talking, but determined to improve to the last minute. Almost before I
knew it, the train stopped at the Tuscumbia station, and there on the
platform stood the whole family. My eyes fill with tears now as I
think how my mother pressed me close to her, speechless and trembling
with delight, taking in every syllable that I spoke, while little
Mildred seized my free hand and kissed it and danced, and my father
expressed his pride and affection in a big silence. It was as if
Isaiah's prophecy had been fulfilled in me, "The mountains and the
hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of
the field shall clap their hands!"
The winter of 1892 was darkened by the one cloud in my childhood's
bright sky. Joy deserted my heart, and for a long, long time I lived
in doubt, anxiety and fear. Books lost their charm for me, and even
now the thought of those dreadful days chills my heart. A little story
called "The Frost King," which I wrote and sent to Mr. Anagnos, of the
Perkins Institution for the Blind, was at the root of the trouble. In
order to make the matter clear, I must set forth the facts connected
with this episode, which justice to my teacher and to myself compels
me to relate.
I wrote the story when I was at home, the autumn after I had
learned to speak. We had stayed up at Fern Quarry later than usual.
While we were there, Miss Sullivan had described to me the beauties of
the late foliage, and it seems that her descriptions revived the
memory of a story, which must have been read to me, and which I must
have unconsciously retained. I thought then that I was "making up a
story," as children say, and I eagerly sat down to write it before the
ideas should slip from me. My thoughts flowed easily; I felt a sense
of joy in the composition. Words and images came tripping to my finger
ends, and as I thought out sentence after sentence, I wrote them on my
braille slate. Now, if words and images come to me without effort, it
is a pretty sure sign that they are not the offspring of my own mind,
but stray waifs that I regretfully dismiss. At that time I eagerly
absorbed everything I read without a thought of authorship, and even
now I cannot be quite sure of the boundary line between my ideas and
those I find in books. I suppose that is because so many of my
impressions come to me through the medium of others' eyes and ears.
When the story was finished, I read it to my teacher, and I recall
now vividly the pleasure I felt in the more beautiful passages, and my
annoyance at being interrupted to have the pronunciation of a word
corrected. At dinner it was read to the assembled family, who were
surprised that I could write so well. Some one asked me if I had read
it in a book.
This question surprised me very much; for I had not the faintest
recollection of having had it read to me. I spoke up and said, "Oh,
no, it is my story, and I have written it for Mr. Anagnos."
Accordingly I copied the story and sent it to him for his
birthday. It was suggested that I should change the title from
"Autumn Leaves" to "The Frost King," which I did. I carried the
little story to the post-office myself, feeling as if I were walking
on air. I little dreamed how cruelly I should pay for that birthday
gift.
Mr. Anagnos was delighted with "The Frost King," and published it
in one of the Perkins Institution reports. This was the pinnacle of
my happiness, from which I was in a little while dashed to earth. I
had been in Boston only a short time when it was discovered that a
story similar to "The Frost King," called "The Frost Fairies" by Miss
Margaret T. Canby, had appeared before I was born in a book called
"Birdie and His Friends." The two stories were so much alike in
thought and language that it was evident Miss Canby's story had been
read to me, and that mine was—a plagiarism. It was difficult to make
me understand this; but when I did understand I was astonished and
grieved. No child ever drank deeper of the cup of bitterness than I
did. I had disgraced myself; I had brought suspicion upon those I
loved best. And yet how could it possibly have happened? I racked my
brain until I was weary to recall anything about the frost that I had
read before I wrote "The Frost King"; but I could remember nothing,
except the common reference to Jack Frost, and a poem for children,
"The Freaks of the Frost," and I knew I had not used that in my
composition.
At first Mr. Anagnos, though deeply troubled, seemed to believe
me. He was unusually tender and kind to me, and for a brief space the
shadow lifted. To please him I tried not to be unhappy, and to make
myself as pretty as possible for the celebration of Washington's
birthday, which took place very soon after I received the sad news.
I was to be Ceres in a kind of masque given by the blind girls.
How well I remember the graceful draperies that enfolded me, the
bright autumn leaves that wreathed my head, and the fruit and grain
at my feet and in my hands, and beneath all the piety of the masque
the oppressive sense of coming ill that made my heart heavy.
The night before the celebration, one of the teachers of the
Institution had asked me a question connected with "The Frost King,"
and I was telling her that Miss Sullivan had talked to me about Jack
Frost and his wonderful works. Something I said made her think she
detected in my words a confession that I did remember Miss Canby's
story of "The Frost Fairies," and she laid her conclusions before Mr.
Anagnos, although I had told her most emphatically that she was
mistaken.
Mr. Anagnos, who loved me tenderly, thinking that he had been
deceived, turned a deaf ear to the pleadings of love and innocence.
He believed, or at least suspected, that Miss Sullivan and I had
deliberately stolen the bright thoughts of another and imposed them on
him to win his admiration. I was brought before a court of
investigation composed of the teachers and officers of the
Institution, and Miss Sullivan was asked to leave me. Then I was
questioned and cross-questioned with what seemed to me a determination
on the part of my judges to force me to acknowledge that I remembered
having had "The Frost Fairies" read to me. I felt in every question
the doubt and suspicion that was in their minds, and I felt, too, that
a loved friend was looking at me reproachfully, although I could not
have put all this into words. The blood pressed about my thumping
heart, and I could scarcely speak, except in monosyllables. Even the
consciousness that it was only a dreadful mistake did not lessen my
suffering, and when at last I was allowed to leave the room, I was
dazed and did not notice my teacher's caresses, or the tender words of
my friends, who said I was a brave little girl and they were proud of
me.
As I lay in my bed that night, I wept as I hope few children have
wept. I felt so cold, I imagined I should die before morning, and the
thought comforted me. I think if this sorrow had come to me when I was
older, it would have broken my spirit beyond repairing. But the angel
of forgetfulness has gathered up and carried away much of the misery
and all the bitterness of those sad days.
Miss Sullivan had never heard of "The Frost Fairies" or of the
book in which it was published. With the assistance of Dr. Alexander
Graham Bell, she investigated the matter carefully, and at last it
came out that Mrs. Sophia C. Hopkins had a copy of Miss Canby's
"Birdie and His Friends" in 1888, the year that we spent the summer
with her at Brewster. Mrs. Hopkins was unable to find her copy; but
she has told me that at that time, while Miss Sullivan was away on a
vacation, she tried to amuse me by reading from various books, and
although she could not remember reading "The Frost Fairies" any more
than I, yet she felt sure that "Birdie and His Friends" was one of
them. She explained the disappearance of the book by the fact that she
had a short time before sold her house and disposed of many juvenile
books, such as old schoolbooks and fairy tales, and that "Birdie and
His Friends" was probably among them.
The stories had little or no meaning for me then; but the mere
spelling of the strange words was sufficient to amuse a little child
who could do almost nothing to amuse herself; and although I do not
recall a single circumstance connected with the reading of the
stories, yet I cannot help thinking that I made a great effort to
remember the words, with the intention of having my teacher explain
them when she returned. One thing is certain, the language was
ineffaceably stamped upon my brain, though for a long time no one knew
it, least of all myself.
When Miss Sullivan came back, I did not speak to her about "The
Frost Fairies," probably because she began at once to read "Little
Lord Fauntleroy," which filled my mind to the exclusion of everything
else. But the fact remains that Miss Canby's story was read to me
once, and that long after I had forgotten it, it came back to me so
naturally that I never suspected that it was the child of another
mind.
In my trouble I received many messages of love and sympathy. All
the friends I loved best, except one, have remained my own to the
present time.
Miss Canby herself wrote kindly, "Some day you will write a great
story out of your own head, that will be a comfort and help to many."
But this kind prophecy has never been fulfilled. I have never played
with words again for the mere pleasure of the game. Indeed, I have
ever since been tortured by the fear that what I write is not my own.
For a long time, when I wrote a letter, even to my mother, I was
seized with a sudden feeling of terror, and I would spell the
sentences over and over, to make sure that I had not read them in a
book. Had it not been for the persistent encouragement of Miss
Sullivan, I think I should have given up trying to write altogether.
I have read "The Frost Fairies" since, also the letters I wrote in
which I used other ideas of Miss Canby's. I find in one of them, a
letter to Mr. Anagnos, dated September 29, 1891, words and sentiments
exactly like those of the book. At the time I was writing "The Frost
King," and this letter, like many others, contains phrases which show
that my mind was saturated with the story. I represent my teacher as
saying to me of the golden autumn leaves, "Yes, they are beautiful
enough to comfort us for the flight of summer"—an idea direct from
Miss Canby's story.
This habit of assimilating what pleased me and giving it out again
as my own appears in much of my early correspondence and my first
attempts at writing. In a composition which I wrote about the old
cities of Greece and Italy, I borrowed my glowing descriptions, with
variations, from sources I have forgotten. I knew Mr. Anagnos's great
love of antiquity and his enthusiastic appreciation of all beautiful
sentiments about Italy and Greece. I therefore gathered from all the
books I read every bit of poetry or of history that I thought would
give him pleasure. Mr. Anagnos, in speaking of my composition on the
cities, has said, "These ideas are poetic in their essence." But I do
not understand how he ever thought a blind and deaf child of eleven
could have invented them. Yet I cannot think that because I did not
originate the ideas, my little composition is therefore quite devoid
of interest. It shows me that I could express my appreciation of
beautiful and poetic ideas in clear and animated language.
Those early compositions were mental gymnastics. I was learning,
as all young and inexperienced persons learn, by assimilation and
imitation, to put ideas into words. Everything I found in books that
pleased me I retained in my memory, consciously or unconsciously, and
adapted it. The young writer, as Stevenson has said, instinctively
tries to copy whatever seems most admirable, and he shifts his
admiration with astonishing versatility. It is only after years of
this sort of practice that even great men have learned to marshal the
legion of words which come thronging through every byway of the mind.
I am afraid I have not yet completed this process. It is certain
that I cannot always distinguish my own thoughts from those I read,
because what I read becomes the very substance and texture of my mind.
Consequently, in nearly all that I write, I produce something which
very much resembles the crazy patchwork I used to make when I first
learned to sew. This patchwork was made of all sorts of odds and
ends—pretty bits of silk and velvet; but the coarse pieces that were
not pleasant to touch always predominated. Likewise my compositions
are made up of crude notions of my own, inlaid with the brighter
thoughts and riper opinions of the authors I have read. It seems to me
that the great difficulty of writing is to make the language of the
educated mind express our confused ideas, half feelings, half
thoughts, when we are little more than bundles of instinctive
tendencies. Trying to write is very much like trying to put a Chinese
puzzle together. We have a pattern in mind which we wish to work out
in words; but the words will not fit the spaces, or, if they do, they
will not match the design. But we keep on trying because we know that
others have succeeded, and we are not willing to acknowledge defeat.
"There is no way to become original, except to be born so," says
Stevenson, and although I may not be original, I hope sometime to
outgrow my artificial, periwigged compositions. Then, perhaps, my own
thoughts and experiences will come to the surface. Meanwhile I trust
and hope and persevere, and try not to let the bitter memory of "The
Frost King" trammel my efforts.
So this sad experience may have done me good and set me thinking
on some of the problems of composition. My only regret is that it
resulted in the loss of one of my dearest friends, Mr. Anagnos.
Since the publication of "The Story of My Life" in the Ladies'
Home Journal, Mr. Anagnos has made a statement, in a letter to Mr.
Macy, that at the time of the "Frost King" matter, he believed I was
innocent. He says, the court of investigation before which I was
brought consisted of eight people: four blind, four seeing persons.
Four of them, he says, thought I knew that Miss Canby's story had been
read to me, and the others did not hold this view. Mr. Anagnos states
that he cast his vote with those who were favourable to me.
But, however the case may have been, with whichever side he may
have cast his vote, when I went into the room where Mr. Anagnos had
so often held me on his knee and, forgetting his many cares, had
shared in my frolics, and found there persons who seemed to doubt me,
I felt that there was something hostile and menacing in the very
atmosphere, and subsequent events have borne out this impression. For
two years he seems to have held the belief that Miss Sullivan and I
were innocent. Then he evidently retracted his favourable judgment,
why I do not know. Nor did I know the details of the investigation. I
never knew even the names of the members of the "court" who did not
speak to me. I was too excited to notice anything, too frightened to
ask questions. Indeed, I could scarcely think what I was saying, or
what was being said to me.
I have given this account of the "Frost King" affair because it
was important in my life and education; and, in order that there
might be no misunderstanding, I have set forth all the facts as they
appear to me, without a thought of defending myself or of laying blame
on any one.
The summer and winter following the "Frost King" incident I spent
with my family in Alabama. I recall with delight that home-going.
Everything had budded and blossomed. I was happy. "The Frost King"
was forgotten.
When the ground was strewn with the crimson and golden leaves of
autumn, and the musk-scented grapes that covered the arbour at the
end of the garden were turning golden brown in the sunshine, I began
to write a sketch of my life—a year after I had written "The Frost
King."
I was still excessively scrupulous about everything I wrote. The
thought that what I wrote might not be absolutely my own tormented
me. No one knew of these fears except my teacher. A strange
sensitiveness prevented me from referring to the "Frost King"; and
often when an idea flashed out in the course of conversation I would
spell softly to her, "I am not sure it is mine." At other times, in
the midst of a paragraph I was writing, I said to myself, "Suppose it
should be found that all this was written by some one long ago!" An
impish fear clutched my hand, so that I could not write any more that
day. And even now I sometimes feel the same uneasiness and
disquietude. Miss Sullivan consoled and helped me in every way she
could think of; but the terrible experience I had passed through left
a lasting impression on my mind, the significance of which I am only
just beginning to understand. It was with the hope of restoring my
self-confidence that she persuaded me to write for the Youth's
Companion a brief account of my life. I was then twelve years old. As
I look back on my struggle to write that little story, it seems to me
that I must have had a prophetic vision of the good that would come of
the undertaking, or I should surely have failed.
I wrote timidly, fearfully, but resolutely, urged on by my
teacher, who knew that if I persevered, I should find my mental
foothold again and get a grip on my faculties. Up to the time of the
"Frost King" episode, I had lived the unconscious life of a little
child; now my thoughts were turned inward, and I beheld things
invisible. Gradually I emerged from the penumbra of that experience
with a mind made clearer by trial and with a truer knowledge of life.
The chief events of the year 1893 were my trip to Washington
during the inauguration of President Cleveland, and visits to Niagara
and the World's Fair. Under such circumstances my studies were
constantly interrupted and often put aside for many weeks, so that it
is impossible for me to give a connected account of them.
We went to Niagara in March, 1893. It is difficult to describe my
emotions when I stood on the point which overhangs the American Falls
and felt the air vibrate and the earth tremble.
It seems strange to many people that I should be impressed by the
wonders and beauties of Niagara. They are always asking: "What does
this beauty or that music mean to you? You cannot see the waves
rolling up the beach or hear their roar. What do they mean to you?" In
the most evident sense they mean everything. I cannot fathom or define
their meaning any more than I can fathom or define love or religion or
goodness.
During the summer of 1893, Miss Sullivan and I visited the World's
Fair with Dr. Alexander Graham Bell. I recall with unmixed delight
those days when a thousand childish fancies became beautiful
realities. Every day in imagination I made a trip round the world, and
I saw many wonders from the uttermost parts of the earth—marvels of
invention, treasuries of industry and skill and all the activities of
human life actually passed under my finger tips.
I liked to visit the Midway Plaisance. It seemed like the "Arabian
Nights," it was crammed so full of novelty and interest. Here was the
India of my books in the curious bazaar with its Shivas and
elephant-gods; there was the land of the Pyramids concentrated in a
model Cairo with its mosques and its long processions of camels;
yonder were the lagoons of Venice, where we sailed every evening when
the city and the fountains were illuminated. I also went on board a
Viking ship which lay a short distance from the little craft. I had
been on a man-of-war before, in Boston, and it interested me to see,
on this Viking ship, how the seaman was once all in all—how he sailed
and took storm and calm alike with undaunted heart, and gave chase to
whosoever reechoed his cry, "We are of the sea!" and fought with
brains and sinews, self-reliant, self-sufficient, instead of being
thrust into the background by unintelligent machinery, as Jack is
to-day. So it always is—"man only is interesting to man."
At a little distance from this ship there was a model of the Santa
Maria, which I also examined. The captain showed me Columbus's cabin
and the desk with an hour-glass on it. This small instrument impressed
me most because it made me think how weary the heroic navigator must
have felt as he saw the sand dropping grain by grain while desperate
men were plotting against his life.
Mr. Higinbotham, President of the World's Fair, kindly gave me
permission to touch the exhibits, and with an eagerness as insatiable
as that with which Pizarro seized the treasures of Peru, I took in the
glories of the Fair with my fingers. It was a sort of tangible
kaleidoscope, this white city of the West. Everything fascinated me,
especially the French bronzes. They were so lifelike, I thought they
were angel visions which the artist had caught and bound in earthly
forms.
At the Cape of Good Hope exhibit, I learned much about the
processes of mining diamonds. Whenever it was possible, I touched the
machinery while it was in motion, so as to get a clearer idea how the
stones were weighed, cut, and polished. I searched in the washings for
a diamond and found it myself—the only true diamond, they said, that
was ever found in the United States.
Dr. Bell went everywhere with us and in his own delightful way
described to me the objects of greatest interest. In the electrical
building we examined the telephones, autophones, phonographs, and
other inventions, and he made me understand how it is possible to send
a message on wires that mock space and outrun time, and, like
Prometheus, to draw fire from the sky. We also visited the
anthropological department, and I was much interested in the relics of
ancient Mexico, in the rude stone implements that are so often the
only record of an age—the simple monuments of nature's unlettered
children (so I thought as I fingered them) that seem bound to last
while the memorials of kings and sages crumble in dust away—and in
the Egyptian mummies, which I shrank from touching. From these relics
I learned more about the progress of man than I have heard or read
since.
All these experiences added a great many new terms to my
vocabulary, and in the three weeks I spent at the Fair I took a long
leap from the little child's interest in fairy tales and toys to the
appreciation of the real and the earnest in the workaday world.
Before October, 1893, I had studied various subjects by myself in
a more or less desultory manner. I read the histories of Greece, Rome
and the United States. I had a French grammar in raised print, and as
I already knew some French, I often amused myself by composing in my
head short exercises, using the new words as I came across them, and
ignoring rules and other technicalities as much as possible. I even
tried, without aid, to master the French pronunciation, as I found all
the letters and sounds described in the book. Of course this was
tasking slender powers for great ends; but it gave me something to do
on a rainy day, and I acquired a sufficient knowledge of French to
read with pleasure La Fontaine's "Fables," "Le Medecin Malgre Lui" and
passages from "Athalie."
I also gave considerable time to the improvement of my speech. I
read aloud to Miss Sullivan and recited passages from my favourite
poets, which I had committed to memory; she corrected my pronunciation
and helped me to phrase and inflect. It was not, however, until
October, 1893, after I had recovered from the fatigue and excitement
of my visit to the World's Fair, that I began to have lessons in
special subjects at fixed hours.
Miss Sullivan and I were at that time in Hulton, Pennsylvania,
visiting the family of Mr. William Wade. Mr. Irons, a neighbour of
theirs, was a good Latin scholar; it was arranged that I should study
under him. I remember him as a man of rare, sweet nature and of wide
experience. He taught me Latin grammar principally; but he often
helped me in arithmetic, which I found as troublesome as it was
uninteresting. Mr. Irons also read with me Tennyson's "In Memoriam." I
had read many books before, but never from a critical point of view. I
learned for the first time to know an author, to recognize his style
as I recognize the clasp of a friend's hand.
At first I was rather unwilling to study Latin grammar. It seemed
absurd to waste time analyzing, every word I came across—noun,
genitive, singular, feminine—when its meaning was quite plain. I
thought I might just as well describe my pet in order to know
it—order, vertebrate; division, quadruped; class, mammalia; genus,
felinus; species, cat; individual, Tabby. But as I got deeper into the
subject, I became more interested, and the beauty of the language
delighted me. I often amused myself by reading Latin passages, picking
up words I understood and trying to make sense. I have never ceased to
enjoy this pastime.
There is nothing more beautiful, I think, than the evanescent
fleeting images and sentiments presented by a language one is just
becoming familiar with—ideas that flit across the mental sky, shaped
and tinted by capricious fancy. Miss Sullivan sat beside me at my
lessons, spelling into my hand whatever Mr. Irons said, and looking up
new words for me. I was just beginning to read Caesar's "Gallic War"
when I went to my home in Alabama.
In the summer of 1894, I attended the meeting at Chautauqua of the
American Association to Promote the Teaching of Speech to the Deaf.
There it was arranged that I should go to the Wright-Humason School
for the Deaf in New York City. I went there in October, 1894,
accompanied by Miss Sullivan. This school was chosen especially for
the purpose of obtaining the highest advantages in vocal culture and
training in lip-reading. In addition to my work in these subjects, I
studied, during the two years I was in the school, arithmetic,
physical geography, French and German.
Miss Reamy, my German teacher, could use the manual alphabet, and
after I had acquired a small vocabulary, we talked together in German
whenever we had a chance, and in a few months I could understand
almost everything she said. Before the end of the first year I read
"Wilhelm Tell" with the greatest delight. Indeed, I think I made more
progress in German than in any of my other studies. I found French
much more difficult. I studied it with Madame Olivier, a French lady
who did not know the manual alphabet, and who was obliged to give her
instruction orally. I could not read her lips easily; so my progress
was much slower than in German. I managed, however, to read "Le
Medecin Malgre Lui" again. It was very amusing but I did not like it
nearly so well as "Wilhelm Tell."
My progress in lip-reading and speech was not what my teachers and
I had hoped and expected it would be. It was my ambition to speak like
other people, and my teachers believed that this could be
accomplished; but, although we worked hard and faithfully, yet we did
not quite reach our goal. I suppose we aimed too high, and
disappointment was therefore inevitable. I still regarded arithmetic
as a system of pitfalls. I hung about the dangerous frontier of
"guess," avoiding with infinite trouble to myself and others the broad
valley of reason. When I was not guessing, I was jumping at
conclusions, and this fault, in addition to my dullness, aggravated my
difficulties more than was right or necessary.
But although these disappointments caused me great depression at
times, I pursued my other studies with unflagging interest,
especially physical geography. It was a joy to learn the secrets of
nature: how—in the picturesque language of the Old Testament—the
winds are made to blow from the four corners of the heavens, how the
vapours ascend from the ends of the earth, how rivers are cut out
among the rocks, and mountains overturned by the roots, and in what
ways man may overcome many forces mightier than himself. The two years
in New York were happy ones, and I look back to them with genuine
pleasure.
I remember especially the walks we all took together every day in
Central Park, the only part of the city that was congenial to me. I
never lost a jot of my delight in this great park. I loved to have it
described every time I entered it; for it was beautiful in all its
aspects, and these aspects were so many that it was beautiful in a
different way each day of the nine months I spent in New York.
In the spring we made excursions to various places of interest. We
sailed on the Hudson River and wandered about on its green banks, of
which Bryant loved to sing. I liked the simple, wild grandeur of the
palisades. Among the places I visited were West Point, Tarrytown, the
home of Washington Irving, where I walked through "Sleepy Hollow."
The teachers at the Wright-Humason School were always planning how
they might give the pupils every advantage that those who hear
enjoy—how they might make much of few tendencies and passive memories
in the cases of the little ones—and lead them out of the cramping
circumstances in which their lives were set.
Before I left New York, these bright days were darkened by the
greatest sorrow that I have ever borne, except the death of my
father. Mr. John P. Spaulding, of Boston, died in February, 1896.
Only those who knew and loved him best can understand what his
friendship meant to me. He, who made every one happy in a beautiful,
unobtrusive way, was most kind and tender to Miss Sullivan and me. So
long as we felt his loving presence and knew that he took a watchful
interest in our work, fraught with so many difficulties, we could not
be discouraged. His going away left a vacancy in our lives that has
never been filled.
In October, 1896, I entered the Cambridge School for Young Ladies,
to be prepared for Radcliffe.
When I was a little girl, I visited Wellesley and surprised my
friends by the announcement, "Some day I shall go to college—but I
shall go to Harvard!" When asked why I would not go to Wellesley, I
replied that there were only girls there. The thought of going to
college took root in my heart and became an earnest desire, which
impelled me to enter into competition for a degree with seeing and
hearing girls, in the face of the strong opposition of many true and
wise friends. When I left New York the idea had become a fixed
purpose; and it was decided that I should go to Cambridge. This was
the nearest approach I could get to Harvard and to the fulfillment of
my childish declaration.
At the Cambridge School the plan was to have Miss Sullivan attend
the classes with me and interpret to me the instruction given.
Of course my instructors had had no experience in teaching any but
normal pupils, and my only means of conversing with them was reading
their lips. My studies for the first year were English history,
English literature, German, Latin, arithmetic, Latin composition and
occasional themes. Until then I had never taken a course of study with
the idea of preparing for college; but I had been well drilled in
English by Miss Sullivan, and it soon became evident to my teachers
that I needed no special instruction in this subject beyond a critical
study of the books prescribed by the college. I had had, moreover, a
good start in French, and received six months' instruction in Latin;
but German was the subject with which I was most familiar.
In spite, however, of these advantages, there were serious
drawbacks to my progress. Miss Sullivan could not spell out in my
hand all that the books required, and it was very difficult to have
textbooks embossed in time to be of use to me, although my friends in
London and Philadelphia were willing to hasten the work. For a while,
indeed, I had to copy my Latin in braille, so that I could recite with
the other girls. My instructors soon became sufficiently familiar with
my imperfect speech to answer my questions readily and correct
mistakes. I could not make notes in class or write exercises; but I
wrote all my compositions and translations at home on my typewriter.
Each day Miss Sullivan went to the classes with me and spelled
into my hand with infinite patience all that the teachers said. In
study hours she had to look up new words for me and read and reread
notes and books I did not have in raised print. The tedium of that
work is hard to conceive. Frau Grote, my German teacher, and Mr.
Gilman, the principal, were the only teachers in the school who
learned the finger alphabet to give me instruction. No one realized
more fully than dear Frau Grote how slow and inadequate her spelling
was. Nevertheless, in the goodness of her heart she laboriously
spelled out her instructions to me in special lessons twice a week, to
give Miss Sullivan a little rest. But, though everybody was kind and
ready to help us, there was only one hand that could turn drudgery
into pleasure.
That year I finished arithmetic, reviewed my Latin grammar, and
read three chapters of Caesar's "Gallic War." In German I read,
partly with my fingers and partly with Miss Sullivan's assistance,
Schiller's "Lied von der Glocke" and "Taucher," Heine's "Harzreise,"
Freytag's "Aus dem Staat Friedrichs des Grossen," Riehl's "Fluch Der
Schonheit," Lessing's "Minna von Barnhelm," and Goethe's "Aus meinem
Leben." I took the greatest delight in these German books, especially
Schiller's wonderful lyrics, the history of Frederick the Great's
magnificent achievements and the account of Goethe's life. I was sorry
to finish "Die Harzreise," so full of happy witticisms and charming
descriptions of vine-clad hills, streams that sing and ripple in the
sunshine, and wild regions, sacred to tradition and legend, the gray
sisters of a long-vanished, imaginative age—descriptions such as can
be given only by those to whom nature is "a feeling, a love and an
appetite."
Mr. Gilman instructed me part of the year in English literature.
We read together, "As You Like It," Burke's "Speech on Conciliation
with America," and Macaulay's "Life of Samuel Johnson." Mr. Gilman's
broad views of history and literature and his clever explanations made
my work easier and pleasanter than it could have been had I only read
notes mechanically with the necessarily brief explanations given in
the classes.
Burke's speech was more instructive than any other book on a
political subject that I had ever read. My mind stirred with the
stirring times, and the characters round which the life of two
contending nations centred seemed to move right before me. I wondered
more and more, while Burke's masterly speech rolled on in mighty
surges of eloquence, how it was that King George and his ministers
could have turned a deaf ear to his warning prophecy of our victory
and their humiliation. Then I entered into the melancholy details of
the relation in which the great statesman stood to his party and to
the representatives of the people. I thought how strange it was that
such precious seeds of truth and wisdom should have fallen among the
tares of ignorance and corruption.
In a different way Macaulay's "Life of Samuel Johnson" was
interesting. My heart went out to the lonely man who ate the bread of
affliction in Grub Street, and yet, in the midst of toil and cruel
suffering of body and soul, always had a kind word, and lent a helping
hand to the poor and despised. I rejoiced over all his successes, I
shut my eyes to his faults, and wondered, not that he had them, but
that they had not crushed or dwarfed his soul. But in spite of
Macaulay's brilliancy and his admirable faculty of making the
commonplace seem fresh and picturesque, his positiveness wearied me at
times, and his frequent sacrifices of truth to effect kept me in a
questioning attitude very unlike the attitude of reverence in which I
had listened to the Demosthenes of Great Britain.
At the Cambridge school, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed
the companionship of seeing and hearing girls of my own age. I lived
with several others in one of the pleasant houses connected with the
school, the house where Mr. Howells used to live, and we all had the
advantage of home life. I joined them in many of their games, even
blind man's buff and frolics in the snow; I took long walks with them;
we discussed our studies and read aloud the things that interested us.
Some of the girls learned to speak to me, so that Miss Sullivan did
not have to repeat their conversation.
At Christmas, my mother and little sister spent the holidays with
me, and Mr. Gilman kindly offered to let Mildred study in his school.
So Mildred stayed with me in Cambridge, and for six happy months we
were hardly ever apart. It makes me most happy to remember the hours
we spent helping each other in study and sharing our recreation
together.
I took my preliminary examinations for Radcliffe from the 29th of
June to the 3rd of July in 1897. The subjects I offered were
Elementary and Advanced German, French, Latin, English, and Greek and
Roman history, making nine hours in all. I passed in everything, and
received "honours" in German and English.
Perhaps an explanation of the method that was in use when I took
my examinations will not be amiss here. The student was required to
pass in sixteen hours—twelve hours being called elementary and four
advanced. He had to pass five hours at a time to have them counted.
The examination papers were given out at nine o'clock at Harvard and
brought to Radcliffe by a special messenger. Each candidate was known,
not by his name, but by a number. I was No. 233, but, as I had to use
a typewriter, my identity could not be concealed.
It was thought advisable for me to have my examinations in a room
by myself, because the noise of the typewriter might disturb the
other girls. Mr. Gilman read all the papers to me by means of the
manual alphabet. A man was placed on guard at the door to prevent
interruption.
The first day I had German. Mr. Gilman sat beside me and read the
paper through first, then sentence by sentence, while I repeated the
words aloud, to make sure that I understood him perfectly. The papers
were difficult, and I felt very anxious as I wrote out my answers on
the typewriter. Mr. Gilman spelled to me what I had written, and I
made such changes as I thought necessary, and he inserted them. I wish
to say here that I have not had this advantage since in any of my
examinations. At Radcliffe no one reads the papers to me after they
are written, and I have no opportunity to correct errors unless I
finish before the time is up. In that case I correct only such
mistakes as I can recall in the few minutes allowed, and make notes of
these corrections at the end of my paper. If I passed with higher
credit in the preliminaries than in the finals, there are two reasons.
In the finals, no one read my work over to me, and in the
preliminaries I offered subjects with some of which I was in a measure
familiar before my work in the Cambridge school; for at the beginning
of the year I had passed examinations in English, History, French and
German, which Mr. Gilman gave me from previous Harvard papers.
Mr. Gilman sent my written work to the examiners with a
certificate that I, candidate No. 233, had written the papers.
All the other preliminary examinations were conducted in the same
manner. None of them was so difficult as the first. I remember that
the day the Latin paper was brought to us, Professor Schilling came in
and informed me I had passed satisfactorily in German. This encouraged
me greatly, and I sped on to the end of the ordeal with a light heart
and a steady hand.
When I began my second year at the Gilman school, I was full of
hope and determination to succeed. But during the first few weeks I
was confronted with unforeseen difficulties. Mr. Gilman had agreed
that that year I should study mathematics principally. I had physics,
algebra, geometry, astronomy, Greek and Latin. Unfortunately, many of
the books I needed had not been embossed in time for me to begin with
the classes, and I lacked important apparatus for some of my studies.
The classes I was in were very large, and it was impossible for the
teachers to give me special instruction. Miss Sullivan was obliged to
read all the books to me, and interpret for the instructors, and for
the first time in eleven years it seemed as if her dear hand would not
be equal to the task.
It was necessary for me to write algebra and geometry in class and
solve problems in physics, and this I could not do until we bought a
braille writer, by means of which I could put down the steps and
processes of my work. I could not follow with my eyes the geometrical
figures drawn on the blackboard, and my only means of getting a clear
idea of them was to make them on a cushion with straight and curved
wires, which had bent and pointed ends. I had to carry in my mind, as
Mr. Keith says in his report, the lettering of the figures, the
hypothesis and conclusion, the construction and the process of the
proof. In a word, every study had its obstacles. Sometimes I lost all
courage and betrayed my feelings in a way I am ashamed to remember,
especially as the signs of my trouble were afterward used against
Miss Sullivan, the only person of all the kind friends I had there,
who could make the crooked straight and the rough places smooth.
Little by little, however, my difficulties began to disappear. The
embossed books and other apparatus arrived, and I threw myself into
the work with renewed confidence. Algebra and geometry were the only
studies that continued to defy my efforts to comprehend them. As I
have said before, I had no aptitude for mathematics; the different
points were not explained to me as fully as I wished. The geometrical
diagrams were particularly vexing because I could not see the relation
of the different parts to one another, even on the cushion. It was not
until Mr. Keith taught me that I had a clear idea of mathematics.
I was beginning to overcome these difficulties when an event
occurred which changed everything.
Just before the books came, Mr. Gilman had begun to remonstrate
with Miss Sullivan on the ground that I was working too hard, and in
spite of my earnest protestations, he reduced the number of my
recitations. At the beginning we had agreed that I should, if
necessary, take five years to prepare for college, but at the end of
the first year the success of my examinations showed Miss Sullivan,
Miss Harbaugh (Mr. Gilman's head teacher), and one other, that I could
without too much effort complete my preparation in two years more. Mr.
Gilman at first agreed to this; but when my tasks had become somewhat
perplexing, he insisted that I was overworked, and that I should
remain at his school three years longer. I did not like his plan, for
I wished to enter college with my class.
On the seventeenth of November I was not very well, and did not go
to school. Although Miss Sullivan knew that my indisposition was not
serious, yet Mr. Gilman, on hearing of it, declared that I was
breaking down and made changes in my studies which would have rendered
it impossible for me to take my final examinations with my class. In
the end the difference of opinion between Mr. Gilman and Miss Sullivan
resulted in my mother's withdrawing my sister Mildred and me from the
Cambridge school.
After some delay it was arranged that I should continue my studies
under a tutor, Mr. Merton S. Keith, of Cambridge. Miss Sullivan and I
spent the rest of the winter with our friends, the Chamberlins in
Wrentham, twenty-five miles from Boston.
From February to July, 1898, Mr. Keith came out to Wrentham twice
a week, and taught me algebra, geometry, Greek and Latin. Miss
Sullivan interpreted his instruction.
In October, 1898, we returned to Boston. For eight months Mr.
Keith gave me lessons five times a week, in periods of about an hour.
He explained each time what I did not understand in the previous
lesson, assigned new work, and took home with him the Greek exercises
which I had written during the week on my typewriter, corrected them
fully, and returned them to me.
In this way my preparation for college went on without
interruption. I found it much easier and pleasanter to be taught by
myself than to receive instruction in class. There was no hurry, no
confusion. My tutor had plenty of time to explain what I did not
understand, so I got on faster and did better work than I ever did in
school. I still found more difficulty in mastering problems in
mathematics than I did in any other of my studies. I wish algebra and
geometry had been half as easy as the languages and literature. But
even mathematics Mr. Keith made interesting; he succeeded in whittling
problems small enough to get through my brain. He kept my mind alert
and eager, and trained it to reason clearly, and to seek conclusions
calmly and logically, instead of jumping wildly into space and
arriving nowhere. He was always gentle and forbearing, no matter how
dull I might be, and believe me, my stupidity would often have
exhausted the patience of Job.
On the 29th and 30th of June, 1899, I took my final examinations
for Radcliffe College. The first day I had Elementary Greek and
Advanced Latin, and the second day Geometry, Algebra and Advanced
Greek.
The college authorities did not allow Miss Sullivan to read the
examination papers to me; so Mr. Eugene C. Vining, one of the
instructors at the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was employed to
copy the papers for me in American braille. Mr. Vining was a stranger
to me, and could not communicate with me, except by writing braille.
The proctor was also a stranger, and did not attempt to communicate
with me in any way.
The braille worked well enough in the languages, but when it came
to geometry and algebra, difficulties arose. I was sorely perplexed,
and felt discouraged wasting much precious time, especially in
algebra. It is true that I was familiar with all literary braille in
common use in this country—English, American, and New York Point; but
the various signs and symbols in geometry and algebra in the three
systems are very different, and I had used only the English braille in
my algebra.
Two days before the examinations, Mr. Vining sent me a braille
copy of one of the old Harvard papers in algebra. To my dismay I
found that it was in the American notation. I sat down immediately
and wrote to Mr. Vining, asking him to explain the signs. I received
another paper and a table of signs by return mail, and I set to work
to learn the notation. But on the night before the algebra
examination, while I was struggling over some very complicated
examples, I could not tell the combinations of bracket, brace and
radical. Both Mr. Keith and I were distressed and full of forebodings
for the morrow; but we went over to the college a little before the
examination began, and had Mr. Vining explain more fully the American
symbols.
In geometry my chief difficulty was that I had always been
accustomed to read the propositions in line print, or to have them
spelled into my hand; and somehow, although the propositions were
right before me, I found the braille confusing, and could not fix
clearly in my mind what I was reading. But when I took up algebra I
had a harder time still. The signs, which I had so lately learned, and
which I thought I knew, perplexed me. Besides, I could not see what I
wrote on my typewriter. I had always done my work in braille or in my
head. Mr. Keith had relied too much on my ability to solve problems
mentally, and had not trained me to write examination papers.
Consequently my work was painfully slow, and I had to read the
examples over and over before I could form any idea of what I was
required to do. Indeed, I am not sure now that I read all the signs
correctly. I found it very hard to keep my wits about me.
But I do not blame any one. The administrative board of Radcliffe
did not realize how difficult they were making my examinations, nor
did they understand the peculiar difficulties I had to surmount. But
if they unintentionally placed obstacles in my way, I have the
consolation of knowing that I overcame them all.
The struggle for admission to college was ended, and I could now
enter Radcliffe whenever I pleased. Before I entered college,
however, it was thought best that I should study another year under
Mr. Keith. It was not, therefore, until the fall of 1900 that my dream
of going to college was realized.
I remember my first day at Radcliffe. It was a day full of
interest for me. I had looked forward to it for years. A potent force
within me, stronger than the persuasion of my friends, stronger even
than the pleadings of my heart, had impelled me to try my strength by
the standards of those who see and hear. I knew that there were
obstacles in the way; but I was eager to overcome them. I had taken to
heart the words of the wise Roman who said, "To be banished from Rome
is but to live outside of Rome." Debarred from the great highways of
knowledge, I was compelled to make the journey across country by
unfrequented roads—that was all; and I knew that in college there
were many bypaths where I could touch hands with girls who were
thinking, loving and struggling like me.
I began my studies with eagerness. Before me I saw a new world
opening in beauty and light, and I felt within me the capacity to
know all things. In the wonderland of Mind I should be as free as
another. Its people, scenery, manners, joys, tragedies should be
living, tangible interpreters of the real world. The lecture-halls
seemed filled with the spirit of the great and the wise, and I thought
the professors were the embodiment of wisdom. If I have since learned
differently, I am not going to tell anybody.
But I soon discovered that college was not quite the romantic
lyceum I had imagined. Many of the dreams that had delighted my young
inexperience became beautifully less and "faded into the light of
common day." Gradually I began to find that there were disadvantages
in going to college.
The one I felt and still feel most is lack of time. I used to have
time to think, to reflect, my mind and I. We would sit together of an
evening and listen to the inner melodies of the spirit, which one
hears only in leisure moments when the words of some loved poet touch
a deep, sweet chord in the soul that until then had been silent. But
in college there is no time to commune with one's thoughts. One goes
to college to learn, it seems, not to think. When one enters the
portals of learning, one leaves the dearest pleasures—solitude, books
and imagination—outside with the whispering pines. I suppose I ought
to find some comfort in the thought that I am laying up treasures for
future enjoyment, but I am improvident enough to prefer present joy to
hoarding riches against a rainy day.
My studies the first year were French, German, history, English
composition and English literature. In the French course I read some
of the works of Corneille, Moliere, Racine, Alfred de Musset and
Sainte-Beuve, and in the German those of Goethe and Schiller. I
reviewed rapidly the whole period of history from the fall of the
Roman Empire to the eighteenth century, and in English literature
studied critically Milton's poems and "Areopagitica."
I am frequently asked how I overcome the peculiar conditions under
which I work in college. In the classroom I am of course practically
alone. The professor is as remote as if he were speaking through a
telephone. The lectures are spelled into my hand as rapidly as
possible, and much of the individuality of the lecturer is lost to me
in the effort to keep in the race. The words rush through my hand like
hounds in pursuit of a hare which they often miss. But in this respect
I do not think I am much worse off than the girls who take notes. If
the mind is occupied with the mechanical process of hearing and
putting words on paper at pell-mell speed, I should not think one
could pay much attention to the subject under consideration or the
manner in which it is presented. I cannot make notes during the
lectures, because my hands are busy listening. Usually I jot down what
I can remember of them when I get home. I write the exercises, daily
themes, criticisms and hour-tests, the mid-year and final
examinations, on my typewriter, so that the professors have no
difficulty in finding out how little I know. When I began the study
of Latin prosody, I devised and explained to my professor a system of
signs indicating the different meters and quantities.
I use the Hammond typewriter. I have tried many machines, and I
find the Hammond is the best adapted to the peculiar needs of my
work. With this machine movable type shuttles can be used, and one
can have several shuttles, each with a different set of
characters—Greek, French, or mathematical, according to the kind of
writing one wishes to do on the typewriter. Without it, I doubt if I
could go to college.
Very few of the books required in the various courses are printed
for the blind, and I am obliged to have them spelled into my hand.
Consequently I need more time to prepare my lessons than other girls.
The manual part takes longer, and I have perplexities which they have
not. There are days when the close attention I must give to details
chafes my spirit, and the thought that I must spend hours reading a
few chapters, while in the world without other girls are laughing and
singing and dancing, makes me rebellious; but I soon recover my
buoyancy and laugh the discontent out of my heart. For, after all,
every one who wishes to gain true knowledge must climb the Hill
Difficulty alone, and since there is no royal road to the summit, I
must zigzag it in my own way. I slip back many times, I fall, I stand
still, I run against the edge of hidden obstacles, I lose my temper
and find it again and keep it better, I trudge on, I gain a little, I
feel encouraged, I get more eager and climb higher and begin to see
the widening horizon. Every struggle is a victory. One more effort and
I reach the luminous cloud, the blue depths of the sky, the uplands of
my desire. I am not always alone, however, in these struggles. Mr.
William Wade and Mr. E. E. Allen, Principal of the Pennsylvania
Institution for the Instruction of the Blind, get for me many of the
books I need in raised print. Their thoughtfulness has been more of a
help and encouragement to me than they can ever know.
Last year, my second year at Radcliffe, I studied English
composition, the Bible as English composition, the governments of
America and Europe, the Odes of Horace, and Latin comedy. The class
in composition was the pleasantest. It was very lively. The lectures
were always interesting, vivacious, witty; for the instructor, Mr.
Charles Townsend Copeland, more than any one else I have had until
this year, brings before you literature in all its original freshness
and power. For one short hour you are permitted to drink in the
eternal beauty of the old masters without needless interpretation or
exposition. You revel in their fine thoughts. You enjoy with all your
soul the sweet thunder of the Old Testament, forgetting the existence
of Jahweh and Elohim; and you go home feeling that you have had "a
glimpse of that perfection in which spirit and form dwell in immortal
harmony; truth and beauty bearing a new growth on the ancient stem of
time."
This year is the happiest because I am studying subjects that
especially interest me, economics, Elizabethan literature,
Shakespeare under Professor George L. Kittredge, and the History of
Philosophy under Professor Josiah Royce. Through philosophy one enters
with sympathy of comprehension into the traditions of remote ages and
other modes of thought, which erewhile seemed alien and without
reason.
But college is not the universal Athens I thought it was. There
one does not meet the great and the wise face to face; one does not
even feel their living touch. They are there, it is true; but they
seem mummified. We must extract them from the crannied wall of
learning and dissect and analyze them before we can be sure that we
have a Milton or an Isaiah, and not merely a clever imitation. Many
scholars forget, it seems to me, that our enjoyment of the great works
of literature depends more upon the depth of our sympathy than upon
our understanding. The trouble is that very few of their laborious
explanations stick in the memory. The mind drops them as a branch
drops its overripe fruit. It is possible to know a flower, root and
stem and all, and all the processes of growth, and yet to have no
appreciation of the flower fresh bathed in heaven's dew. Again and
again I ask impatiently, "Why concern myself with these explanations
and hypotheses?" They fly hither and thither in my thought like blind
birds beating the air with ineffectual wings. I do not mean to object
to a thorough knowledge of the famous works we read. I object only to
the interminable comments and bewildering criticisms that teach but
one thing: there are as many opinions as there are men. But when a
great scholar like Professor Kittredge interprets what the master
said, it is "as if new sight were given the blind." He brings back
Shakespeare, the poet.
There are, however, times when I long to sweep away half the
things I am expected to learn; for the overtaxed mind cannot enjoy
the treasure it has secured at the greatest cost. It is impossible, I
think, to read in one day four or five different books in different
languages and treating of widely different subjects, and not lose
sight of the very ends for which one reads. When one reads hurriedly
and nervously, having in mind written tests and examinations, one's
brain becomes encumbered with a lot of choice bric-a-brac for which
there seems to be little use. At the present time my mind is so full
of heterogeneous matter that I almost despair of ever being able to
put it in order. Whenever I enter the region that was the kingdom of
my mind I feel like the proverbial bull in the china shop. A thousand
odds and ends of knowledge come crashing about my head like
hailstones, and when I try to escape them, theme-goblins and college
nixies of all sorts pursue me, until I wish—oh, may I be forgiven the
wicked wish!—that I might smash the idols I came to worship.
But the examinations are the chief bugbears of my college life.
Although I have faced them many times and cast them down and made
them bite the dust, yet they rise again and menace me with pale
looks, until like Bob Acres I feel my courage oozing out at my finger
ends. The days before these ordeals take place are spent in cramming
your mind with mystic formula and indigestible dates—unpalatable
diets, until you wish that books and science and you were buried in
the depths of the sea.
At last the dreaded hour arrives, and you are a favoured being
indeed if you feel prepared, and are able at the right time to call
to your standard thoughts that will aid you in that supreme effort. It
happens too often that your trumpet call is unheeded. It is most
perplexing and exasperating that just at the moment when you need your
memory and a nice sense of discrimination, these faculties take to
themselves wings and fly away. The facts you have garnered with such
infinite trouble invariably fail you at a pinch.
"Give a brief account of Huss and his work." Huss? Who was he and
what did he do? The name looks strangely familiar. You ransack your
budget of historic facts much as you would hunt for a bit of silk in a
rag-bag. You are sure it is somewhere in your mind near the top—you
saw it there the other day when you were looking up the beginnings of
the Reformation. But where is it now? You fish out all manner of odds
and ends of knowledge—revolutions, schisms, massacres, systems of
government; but Huss—where is he? You are amazed at all the things
you know which are not on the examination paper. In desperation you
seize the budget and dump everything out, and there in a corner is
your man, serenely brooding on his own private thought, unconscious of
the catastrophe which he has brought upon you.
Just then the proctor informs you that the time is up. With a
feeling of intense disgust you kick the mass of rubbish into a corner
and go home, your head full of revolutionary schemes to abolish the
divine right of professors to ask questions without the consent of the
questioned.
It comes over me that in the last two or three pages of this
chapter I have used figures which will turn the laugh against me. Ah,
here they are—the mixed metaphors mocking and strutting about before
me, pointing to the bull in the china shop assailed by hailstones and
the bugbears with pale looks, an unanalyzed species! Let them mock on.
The words describe so exactly the atmosphere of jostling, tumbling
ideas I live in that I will wink at them for once, and put on a
deliberate air to say that my ideas of college have changed.
While my days at Radcliffe were still in the future, they were
encircled with a halo of romance, which they have lost; but in the
transition from romantic to actual I have learned many things I should
never have known had I not tried the experiment. One of them is the
precious science of patience, which teaches us that we should take our
education as we would take a walk in the country, leisurely, our minds
hospitably open to impressions of every sort. Such knowledge floods
the soul unseen with a soundless tidal wave of deepening thought.
"Knowledge is power." Rather, knowledge is happiness, because to have
knowledge—broad, deep knowledge—is to know true ends from false, and
lofty things from low. To know the thoughts and deeds that have marked
man's progress is to feel the great heart-throbs of humanity through
the centuries; and if one does not feel in these pulsations a
heavenward striving, one must indeed be deaf to the harmonies of
life.
I have thus far sketched the events of my life, but I have not
shown how much I have depended on books not only for pleasure and for
the wisdom they bring to all who read, but also for that knowledge
which comes to others through their eyes and their ears. Indeed, books
have meant so much more in my education than in that of others, that I
shall go back to the time when I began to read.
I read my first connected story in May, 1887, when I was seven
years old, and from that day to this I have devoured everything in
the shape of a printed page that has come within the reach of my
hungry finger tips. As I have said, I did not study regularly during
the early years of my education; nor did I read according to rule.
At first I had only a few books in raised print—"readers" for
beginners, a collection of stories for children, and a book about the
earth called "Our World." I think that was all; but I read them over
and over, until the words were so worn and pressed I could scarcely
make them out. Sometimes Miss Sullivan read to me, spelling into my
hand little stories and poems that she knew I should understand; but I
preferred reading myself to being read to, because I liked to read
again and again the things that pleased me.
It was during my first visit to Boston that I really began to read
in good earnest. I was permitted to spend a part of each day in the
Institution library, and to wander from bookcase to bookcase, and take
down whatever book my fingers lighted upon. And read I did, whether I
understood one word in ten or two words on a page. The words
themselves fascinated me; but I took no conscious account of what I
read. My mind must, however, have been very impressionable at that
period, for it retained many words and whole sentences, to the meaning
of which I had not the faintest clue; and afterward, when I began to
talk and write, these words and sentences would flash out quite
naturally, so that my friends wondered at the richness of my
vocabulary. I must have read parts of many books (in those early days
I think I never read any one book through) and a great deal of poetry
in this uncomprehending way, until I discovered "Little Lord
Fauntleroy," which was the first book of any consequence I read
understandingly.
One day my teacher found me in a corner of the library poring over
the pages of "The Scarlet Letter." I was then about eight years old. I
remember she asked me if I liked little Pearl, and explained some of
the words that had puzzled me. Then she told me that she had a
beautiful story about a little boy which she was sure I should like
better than "The Scarlet Letter." The name of the story was "Little
Lord Fauntleroy," and she promised to read it to me the following
summer. But we did not begin the story until August; the first few
weeks of my stay at the seashore were so full of discoveries and
excitement that I forgot the very existence of books. Then my teacher
went to visit some friends in Boston, leaving me for a short time.
When she returned almost the first thing we did was to begin the
story of "Little Lord Fauntleroy." I recall distinctly the time and
place when we read the first chapters of the fascinating child's
story. It was a warm afternoon in August. We were sitting together in
a hammock which swung from two solemn pines at a short distance from
the house. We had hurried through the dish-washing after luncheon, in
order that we might have as long an afternoon as possible for the
story. As we hastened through the long grass toward the hammock, the
grasshoppers swarmed about us and fastened themselves on our clothes,
and I remember that my teacher insisted upon picking them all off
before we sat down, which seemed to me an unnecessary waste of time.
The hammock was covered with pine needles, for it had not been used
while my teacher was away. The warm sun shone on the pine trees and
drew out all their fragrance. The air was balmy, with a tang of the
sea in it. Before we began the story Miss Sullivan explained to me
the things that she knew I should not understand, and as we read on
she explained the unfamiliar words. At first there were many words I
did not know, and the reading was constantly interrupted; but as soon
as I thoroughly comprehended the situation, I became too eagerly
absorbed in the story to notice mere words, and I am afraid I listened
impatiently to the explanations that Miss Sullivan felt to be
necessary. When her fingers were too tired to spell another word, I
had for the first time a keen sense of my deprivations. I took the
book in my hands and tried to feel the letters with an intensity of
longing that I can never forget.
Afterward, at my eager request, Mr. Anagnos had this story
embossed, and I read it again and again, until I almost knew it by
heart; and all through my childhood "Little Lord Fauntleroy" was my
sweet and gentle companion. I have given these details at the risk of
being tedious, because they are in such vivid contrast with my vague,
mutable and confused memories of earlier reading.
From "Little Lord Fauntleroy" I date the beginning of my true
interest in books. During the next two years I read many books at my
home and on my visits to Boston. I cannot remember what they all were,
or in what order I read them; but I know that among them were "Greek
Heroes," La Fontaine's "Fables," Hawthorne's "Wonder Book," "Bible
Stories," Lamb's "Tales from Shakespeare," "A Child's History of
England" by Dickens, "The Arabian Nights," "The Swiss Family
Robinson," "The Pilgrim's Progress," "Robinson Crusoe," "Little
Women," and "Heidi," a beautiful little story which I afterward read
in German. I read them in the intervals between study and play with an
ever-deepening sense of pleasure. I did not study nor analyze them—I
did not know whether they were well written or not; I never thought
about style or authorship. They laid their treasures at my feet, and I
accepted them as we accept the sunshine and the love of our friends. I
loved "Little Women" because it gave me a sense of kinship with girls
and boys who could see and hear. Circumscribed as my life was in so
many ways, I had to look between the covers of books for news of the
world that lay outside my own.
I did not care especially for "The Pilgrim's Progress," which I
think I did not finish, or for the "Fables." I read La Fontaine's
"Fables" first in an English translation, and enjoyed them only after
a half-hearted fashion. Later I read the book again in French, and I
found that, in spite of the vivid word-pictures, and the wonderful
mastery of language, I liked it no better. I do not know why it is,
but stories in which animals are made to talk and act like human
beings have never appealed to me very strongly. The ludicrous
caricatures of the animals occupy my mind to the exclusion of the
moral.
Then, again, La Fontaine seldom, if ever, appeals to our highest
moral sense. The highest chords he strikes are those of reason and
self-love. Through all the fables runs the thought that man's morality
springs wholly from self-love, and that if that self-love is directed
and restrained by reason, happiness must follow. Now, so far as I can
judge, self-love is the root of all evil; but, of course, I may be
wrong, for La Fontaine had greater opportunities of observing men than
I am likely ever to have. I do not object so much to the cynical and
satirical fables as to those in which momentous truths are taught by
monkeys and foxes.
But I love "The Jungle Book" and "Wild Animals I Have Known." I
feel a genuine interest in the animals themselves, because they are
real animals and not caricatures of men. One sympathizes with their
loves and hatreds, laughs over their comedies, and weeps over their
tragedies. And if they point a moral, it is so subtle that we are not
conscious of it.
My mind opened naturally and joyously to a conception of
antiquity. Greece, ancient Greece, exercised a mysterious fascination
over me. In my fancy the pagan gods and goddesses still walked on
earth and talked face to face with men, and in my heart I secretly
built shrines to those I loved best. I knew and loved the whole tribe
of nymphs and heroes and demigods—no, not quite all, for the cruelty
and greed of Medea and Jason were too monstrous to be forgiven, and I
used to wonder why the gods permitted them to do wrong and then
punished them for their wickedness. And the mystery is still unsolved.
I often wonder how
God can dumbness keep While Sin creeps grinning through His house
of Time.
It was the Iliad that made Greece my paradise. I was familiar with
the story of Troy before I read it in the original, and consequently I
had little difficulty in making the Greek words surrender their
treasures after I had passed the borderland of grammar. Great poetry,
whether written in Greek or in English, needs no other interpreter
than a responsive heart. Would that the host of those who make the
great works of the poets odious by their analysis, impositions and
laborious comments might learn this simple truth! It is not necessary
that one should be able to define every word and give it its principal
parts and its grammatical position in the sentence in order to
understand and appreciate a fine poem. I know my learned professors
have found greater riches in the Iliad than I shall ever find; but I
am not avaricious. I am content that others should be wiser than I.
But with all their wide and comprehensive knowledge, they cannot
measure their enjoyment of that splendid epic, nor can I. When I read
the finest passages of the Iliad, I am conscious of a soul-sense that
lifts me above the narrow, cramping circumstances of my life. My
physical limitations are forgotten—my world lies upward, the length
and the breadth and the sweep of the heavens are mine!
My admiration for the Aeneid is not so great, but it is none the
less real. I read it as much as possible without the help of notes or
dictionary, and I always like to translate the episodes that please me
especially. The word-painting of Virgil is wonderful sometimes; but
his gods and men move through the scenes of passion and strife and
pity and love like the graceful figures in an Elizabethan mask,
whereas in the Iliad they give three leaps and go on singing. Virgil
is serene and lovely like a marble Apollo in the moonlight; Homer is a
beautiful, animated youth in the full sunlight with the wind in his
hair.
How easy it is to fly on paper wings! From "Greek Heroes" to the
Iliad was no day's journey, nor was it altogether pleasant. One could
have traveled round the word many times while I trudged my weary way
through the labyrinthine mazes of grammars and dictionaries, or fell
into those dreadful pitfalls called examinations, set by schools and
colleges for the confusion of those who seek after knowledge. I
suppose this sort of Pilgrim's Progress was justified by the end; but
it seemed interminable to me, in spite of the pleasant surprises that
met me now and then at a turn in the road.
I began to read the Bible long before I could understand it. Now
it seems strange to me that there should have been a time when my
spirit was deaf to its wondrous harmonies; but I remember well a
rainy Sunday morning when, having nothing else to do, I begged my
cousin to read me a story out of the Bible. Although she did not
think I should understand, she began to spell into my hand the story
of Joseph and his brothers. Somehow it failed to interest me. The
unusual language and repetition made the story seem unreal and far
away in the land of Canaan, and I fell asleep and wandered off to the
land of Nod, before the brothers came with the coat of many colours
unto the tent of Jacob and told their wicked lie! I cannot understand
why the stories of the Greeks should have been so full of charm for
me, and those of the Bible so devoid of interest, unless it was that I
had made the acquaintance of several Greeks in Boston and been
inspired by their enthusiasm for the stories of their country; whereas
I had not met a single Hebrew or Egyptian, and therefore concluded
that they were nothing more than barbarians, and the stories about
them were probably all made up, which hypothesis explained the
repetitions and the queer names. Curiously enough, it never occurred
to me to call Greek patronymics "queer."
But how shall I speak of the glories I have since discovered in
the Bible? For years I have read it with an ever-broadening sense of
joy and inspiration; and I love it as I love no other book. Still
there is much in the Bible against which every instinct of my being
rebels, so much that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to
read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the
knowledge which I have gained of its history and sources compensates
me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention. For my
part, I wish, with Mr. Howells, that the literature of the past might
be purged of all that is ugly and barbarous in it, although I should
object as much as any one to having these great works weakened or
falsified.
There is something impressive, awful, in the simplicity and
terrible directness of the book of Esther. Could there be anything
more dramatic than the scene in which Esther stands before her wicked
lord? She knows her life is in his hands; there is no one to protect
her from his wrath. Yet, conquering her woman's fear, she approaches
him, animated by the noblest patriotism, having but one thought: "If I
perish, I perish; but if I live, my people shall live."
The story of Ruth, too—how Oriental it is! Yet how different is
the life of these simple country folks from that of the Persian
capital! Ruth is so loyal and gentle-hearted, we cannot help loving
her, as she stands with the reapers amid the waving corn. Her
beautiful, unselfish spirit shines out like a bright star in the night
of a dark and cruel age. Love like Ruth's, love which can rise above
conflicting creeds and deep-seated racial prejudices, is hard to find
in all the world.
The Bible gives me a deep, comforting sense that "things seen are
temporal, and things unseen are eternal."
I do not remember a time since I have been capable of loving books
that I have not loved Shakespeare. I cannot tell exactly when I began
Lamb's "Tales from Shakespeare"; but I know that I read them at first
with a child's understanding and a child's wonder. "Macbeth" seems to
have impressed me most. One reading was sufficient to stamp every
detail of the story upon my memory forever. For a long time the ghosts
and witches pursued me even into Dreamland. I could see, absolutely
see, the dagger and Lady Macbeth's little white hand—the dreadful
stain was as real to me as to the grief-stricken queen.
I read "King Lear" soon after "Macbeth," and I shall never forget
the feeling of horror when I came to the scene in which Gloster's
eyes are put out. Anger seized me, my fingers refused to move, I sat
rigid for one long moment, the blood throbbing in my temples, and all
the hatred that a child can feel concentrated in my heart.
I must have made the acquaintance of Shylock and Satan about the
same time, for the two characters were long associated in my mind. I
remember that I was sorry for them. I felt vaguely that they could not
be good even if they wished to, because no one seemed willing to help
them or to give them a fair chance. Even now I cannot find it in my
heart to condemn them utterly. There are moments when I feel that the
Shylocks, the Judases, and even the Devil, are broken spokes in the
great wheel of good which shall in due time be made whole.
It seems strange that my first reading of Shakespeare should have
left me so many unpleasant memories. The bright, gentle, fanciful
plays—the ones I like best now—appear not to have impressed me at
first, perhaps because they reflected the habitual sunshine and gaiety
of a child's life. But "there is nothing more capricious than the
memory of a child: what it will hold, and what it will lose."
I have since read Shakespeare's plays many times and know parts of
them by heart, but I cannot tell which of them I like best. My delight
in them is as varied as my moods. The little songs and the sonnets
have a meaning for me as fresh and wonderful as the dramas. But, with
all my love for Shakespeare, it is often weary work to read all the
meanings into his lines which critics and commentators have given
them. I used to try to remember their interpretations, but they
discouraged and vexed me; so I made a secret compact with myself not
to try any more. This compact I have only just broken in my study of
Shakespeare under Professor Kittredge. I know there are many things in
Shakespeare, and in the world, that I do not understand; and I am glad
to see veil after veil lift gradually, revealing new realms of thought
and beauty.
Next to poetry I love history. I have read every historical work
that I have been able to lay my hands on, from a catalogue of dry
facts and dryer dates to Green's impartial, picturesque "History of
the English People"; from Freeman's "History of Europe" to Emerton's
"Middle Ages." The first book that gave me any real sense of the value
of history was Swinton's "World History," which I received on my
thirteenth birthday. Though I believe it is no longer considered
valid, yet I have kept it ever since as one of my treasures. From it I
learned how the races of men spread from land to land and built great
cities, how a few great rulers, earthly Titans, put everything under
their feet, and with a decisive word opened the gates of happiness for
millions and closed them upon millions more: how different nations
pioneered in art and knowledge and broke ground for the mightier
growths of coming ages; how civilization underwent as it were, the
holocaust of a degenerate age, and rose again, like the Phoenix, among
the nobler sons of the North; and how by liberty, tolerance and
education the great and the wise have opened the way for the
salvation of the whole world.
In my college reading I have become somewhat familiar with French
and German literature. The German puts strength before beauty, and
truth before convention, both in life and in literature. There is a
vehement, sledge-hammer vigour about everything that he does. When he
speaks, it is not to impress others, but because his heart would burst
if he did not find an outlet for the thoughts that burn in his soul.
Then, too, there is in German literature a fine reserve which I
like; but its chief glory is the recognition I find in it of the
redeeming potency of woman's self-sacrificing love. This thought
pervades all German literature and is mystically expressed in
Goethe's "Faust":
All things transitory But as symbols are sent. Earth's
insufficiency Here grows to event. The indescribable Here it is
done. The Woman Soul leads us upward and on!
Of all the French writers that I have read, I like Moliere and
Racine best. There are fine things in Balzac and passages in Merimee
which strike one like a keen blast of sea air. Alfred de Musset is
impossible! I admire Victor Hugo—I appreciate his genius, his
brilliancy, his romanticism; though he is not one of my literary
passions. But Hugo and Goethe and Schiller and all great poets of all
great nations are interpreters of eternal things, and my spirit
reverently follows them into the regions where Beauty and Truth and
Goodness are one.
I am afraid I have written too much about my book-friends, and yet
I have mentioned only the authors I love most; and from this fact one
might easily suppose that my circle of friends was very limited and
undemocratic, which would be a very wrong impression. I like many
writers for many reasons—Carlyle for his ruggedness and scorn of
shams; Wordsworth, who teaches the oneness of man and nature; I find
an exquisite pleasure in the oddities and surprises of Hood, in
Herrick's quaintness and the palpable scent of lily and rose in his
verses; I like Whittier for his enthusiasms and moral rectitude. I
knew him, and the gentle remembrance of our friendship doubles the
pleasure I have in reading his poems. I love Mark Twain—who does not?
The gods, too, loved him and put into his heart all manner of wisdom;
then, fearing lest he should become a pessimist, they spanned his mind
with a rainbow of love and faith. I like Scott for his freshness,
dash and large honesty. I love all writers whose minds, like
Lowell's, bubble up in the sunshine of optimism—fountains of joy and
good will, with occasionally a splash of anger and here and there a
healing spray of sympathy and pity.
In a word, literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disfranchised.
No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious
discourse of my book-friends. They talk to me without embarrassment
or awkwardness. The things I have learned and the things I have been
taught seem of ridiculously little importance compared with their
"large loves and heavenly charities."
I trust that my readers have not concluded from the preceding
chapter on books that reading is my only pleasure; my pleasures and
amusements are many and varied.
More than once in the course of my story I have referred to my
love of the country and out-of-door sports. When I was quite a little
girl, I learned to row and swim, and during the summer, when I am at
Wrentham, Massachusetts, I almost live in my boat. Nothing gives me
greater pleasure than to take my friends out rowing when they visit
me. Of course, I cannot guide the boat very well. Some one usually
sits in the stern and manages the rudder while I row. Sometimes,
however, I go rowing without the rudder. It is fun to try to steer by
the scent of watergrasses and lilies, and of bushes that grow on the
shore. I use oars with leather bands, which keep them in position in
the oarlocks, and I know by the resistance of the water when the oars
are evenly poised. In the same manner I can also tell when I am
pulling against the current. I like to contend with wind and wave.
What is more exhilarating than to make your staunch little boat,
obedient to your will and muscle, go skimming lightly over
glistening, tilting waves, and to feel the steady, imperious surge of
the water!
I also enjoy canoeing, and I suppose you will smile when I say
that I especially like it on moonlight nights. I cannot, it is true,
see the moon climb up the sky behind the pines and steal softly across
the heavens, making a shining path for us to follow; but I know she is
there, and as I lie back among the pillows and put my hand in the
water, I fancy that I feel the shimmer of her garments as she passes.
Sometimes a daring little fish slips between my fingers, and often a
pond-lily presses shyly against my hand. Frequently, as we emerge from
the shelter of a cove or inlet, I am suddenly conscious of the
spaciousness of the air about me. A luminous warmth seems to enfold
me. Whether it comes from the trees which have been heated by the
sun, or from the water, I can never discover. I have had the same
strange sensation even in the heart of the city. I have felt it on
cold, stormy days and at night. It is like the kiss of warm lips on my
face.
My favourite amusement is sailing. In the summer of 1901 I visited
Nova Scotia, and had opportunities such as I had not enjoyed before to
make the acquaintance of the ocean. After spending a few days in
Evangeline's country, about which Longfellow's beautiful poem has
woven a spell of enchantment, Miss Sullivan and I went to Halifax,
where we remained the greater part of the summer. The harbour was our
joy, our paradise. What glorious sails we had to Bedford Basin, to
McNabb's Island, to York Redoubt, and to the Northwest Arm! And at
night what soothing, wondrous hours we spent in the shadow of the
great, silent men-of-war. Oh, it was all so interesting, so beautiful!
The memory of it is a joy forever.
One day we had a thrilling experience. There was a regatta in the
Northwest Arm, in which the boats from the different warships were
engaged. We went in a sail-boat along with many others to watch the
races. Hundreds of little sail-boats swung to and fro close by, and
the sea was calm. When the races were over, and we turned our faces
homeward, one of the party noticed a black cloud drifting in from the
sea, which grew and spread and thickened until it covered the whole
sky. The wind rose, and the waves chopped angrily at unseen barriers.
Our little boat confronted the gale fearlessly; with sails spread and
ropes taut, she seemed to sit upon the wind. Now she swirled in the
billows, now she spring upward on a gigantic wave, only to be driven
down with angry howl and hiss. Down came the mainsail. Tacking and
jibbing, we wrestled with opposing winds that drove us from side to
side with impetuous fury. Our hearts beat fast, and our hands trembled
with excitement, not fear, for we had the hearts of vikings, and we
knew that our skipper was master of the situation. He had steered
through many a storm with firm hand and sea-wise eye. As they passed
us, the large craft and the gunboats in the harbour saluted and the
seamen shouted applause for the master of the only little sail-boat
that ventured out into the storm. At last, cold, hungry and weary, we
reached our pier.
Last summer I spent in one of the loveliest nooks of one of the
most charming villages in New England. Wrentham, Massachusetts, is
associated with nearly all of my joys and sorrows. For many years Red
Farm, by King Philip's Pond, the home of Mr. J. E. Chamberlin and his
family, was my home. I remember with deepest gratitude the kindness of
these dear friends and the happy days I spent with them. The sweet
companionship of their children meant much to me. I joined in all
their sports and rambles through the woods and frolics in the water.
The prattle of the little ones and their pleasure in the stories I
told them of elf and gnome, of hero and wily bear, are pleasant things
to remember. Mr. Chamberlin initiated me into the mysteries of tree
and wild-flower, until with the little ear of love I heard the flow
of sap in the oak, and saw the sun glint from leaf to leaf. Thus it
is that
Even as the roots, shut in the darksome earth, Share in the
tree-top's joyance, and conceive Of sunshine and wide air and winged
things, By sympathy of nature, so do I
gave evidence of things unseen.
It seems to me that there is in each of us a capacity to
comprehend the impressions and emotions which have been experienced
by mankind from the beginning. Each individual has a subconscious
memory of the green earth and murmuring waters, and blindness and
deafness cannot rob him of this gift from past generations. This
inherited capacity is a sort of sixth sense—a soul-sense which sees,
hears, feels, all in one.
I have many tree friends in Wrentham. One of them, a splendid oak,
is the special pride of my heart. I take all my other friends to see
this king-tree. It stands on a bluff overlooking King Philip's Pond,
and those who are wise in tree lore say it must have stood there eight
hundred or a thousand years. There is a tradition that under this tree
King Philip, the heroic Indian chief, gazed his last on earth and sky.
I had another tree friend, gentle and more approachable than the
great oak—a linden that grew in the dooryard at Red Farm. One
afternoon, during a terrible thunderstorm, I felt a tremendous crash
against the side of the house and knew, even before they told me, that
the linden had fallen. We went out to see the hero that had withstood
so many tempests, and it wrung my heart to see him prostrate who had
mightily striven and was now mightily fallen.
But I must not forget that I was going to write about last summer
in particular. As soon as my examinations were over, Miss Sullivan
and I hastened to this green nook, where we have a little cottage on
one of the three lakes for which Wrentham is famous. Here the long,
sunny days were mine, and all thoughts of work and college and the
noisy city were thrust into the background. In Wrentham we caught
echoes of what was happening in the world—war, alliance, social
conflict. We heard of the cruel, unnecessary fighting in the far-away
Pacific, and learned of the struggles going on between capital and
labour. We knew that beyond the border of our Eden men were making
history by the sweat of their brows when they might better make a
holiday. But we little heeded these things. These things would pass
away; here were lakes and woods and broad daisy-starred fields and
sweet-breathed meadows, and they shall endure forever.
People who think that all sensations reach us through the eye and
the ear have expressed surprise that I should notice any difference,
except possibly the absence of pavements, between walking in city
streets and in country roads. They forget that my whole body is alive
to the conditions about me. The rumble and roar of the city smite the
nerves of my face, and I feel the ceaseless tramp of an unseen
multitude, and the dissonant tumult frets my spirit. The grinding of
heavy wagons on hard pavements and the monotonous clangour of
machinery are all the more torturing to the nerves if one's attention
is not diverted by the panorama that is always present in the noisy
streets to people who can see.
In the country one sees only Nature's fair works, and one's soul
is not saddened by the cruel struggle for mere existence that goes on
in the crowded city. Several times I have visited the narrow, dirty
streets where the poor live, and I grow hot and indignant to think
that good people should be content to live in fine houses and become
strong and beautiful, while others are condemned to live in hideous,
sunless tenements and grow ugly, withered and cringing. The children
who crowd these grimy alleys, half-clad and underfed, shrink away from
your outstretched hand as if from a blow. Dear little creatures, they
crouch in my heart and haunt me with a constant sense of pain. There
are men and women, too, all gnarled and bent out of shape. I have felt
their hard, rough hands and realized what an endless struggle their
existence must be—no more than a series of scrimmages, thwarted
attempts to do something. Their life seems an immense disparity
between effort and opportunity. The sun and the air are God's free
gifts to all we say, but are they so? In yonder city's dingy alleys
the sun shines not, and the air is foul. Oh, man, how dost thou forget
and obstruct thy brother man, and say, "Give us this day our daily
bread," when he has none! Oh, would that men would leave the city, its
splendour and its tumult and its gold, and return to wood and field
and simple, honest living! Then would their children grow stately as
noble trees, and their thoughts sweet and pure as wayside flowers. It
is impossible not to think of all this when I return to the country
after a year of work in town.
What a joy it is to feel the soft, springy earth under my feet
once more, to follow grassy roads that lead to ferny brooks where I
can bathe my fingers in a cataract of rippling notes, or to clamber
over a stone wall into green fields that tumble and roll and climb in
riotous gladness!
Next to a leisurely walk I enjoy a "spin" on my tandem bicycle. It
is splendid to feel the wind blowing in my face and the springy motion
of my iron steed. The rapid rush through the air gives me a delicious
sense of strength and buoyancy, and the exercise makes my pulses dance
and my heart sing.
Whenever it is possible, my dog accompanies me on a walk or ride
or sail. I have had many dog friends—huge mastiffs, soft-eyed
spaniels, wood-wise setters and honest, homely bull terriers. At
present the lord of my affections is one of these bull terriers. He
has a long pedigree, a crooked tail and the drollest "phiz" in dogdom.
My dog friends seem to understand my limitations, and always keep
close beside me when I am alone. I love their affectionate ways and
the eloquent wag of their tails.
When a rainy day keeps me indoors, I amuse myself after the manner
of other girls. I like to knit and crochet; I read in the
happy-go-lucky way I love, here and there a line; or perhaps I play a
game or two of checkers or chess with a friend. I have a special board
on which I play these games. The squares are cut out, so that the men
stand in them firmly. The black checkers are flat and the white ones
curved on top. Each checker has a hole in the middle in which a brass
knob can be placed to distinguish the king from the commons. The
chessmen are of two sizes, the white larger than the black, so that I
have no trouble in following my opponent's maneuvers by moving my
hands lightly over the board after a play. The jar made by shifting
the men from one hole to another tells me when it is my turn.
If I happen to be all alone and in an idle mood, I play a game of
solitaire, of which I am very fond. I use playing cards marked in the
upper right-hand corner with braille symbols which indicate the value
of the card.
If there are children around, nothing pleases me so much as to
frolic with them. I find even the smallest child excellent company,
and I am glad to say that children usually like me. They lead me about
and show me the things they are interested in. Of course the little
ones cannot spell on their fingers; but I manage to read their lips.
If I do not succeed they resort to dumb show. Sometimes I make a
mistake and do the wrong thing. A burst of childish laughter greets my
blunder, and the pantomime begins all over again. I often tell them
stories or teach them a game, and the winged hours depart and leave us
good and happy.
Museums and art stores are also sources of pleasure and
inspiration. Doubtless it will seem strange to many that the hand
unaided by sight can feel action, sentiment, beauty in the cold
marble; and yet it is true that I derive genuine pleasure from
touching great works of art. As my finger tips trace line and curve,
they discover the thought and emotion which the artist has portrayed.
I can feel in the faces of gods and heroes hate, courage and love,
just as I can detect them in living faces I am permitted to touch. I
feel in Diana's posture the grace and freedom of the forest and the
spirit that tames the mountain lion and subdues the fiercest passions.
My soul delights in the repose and gracious curves of the Venus; and
in Barre's bronzes the secrets of the jungle are revealed to me.
A medallion of Homer hangs on the wall of my study, conveniently
low, so that I can easily reach it and touch the beautiful, sad face
with loving reverence. How well I know each line in that majestic
brow—tracks of life and bitter evidences of struggle and sorrow;
those sightless eyes seeking, even in the cold plaster, for the light
and the blue skies of his beloved Hellas, but seeking in vain; that
beautiful mouth, firm and true and tender. It is the face of a poet,
and of a man acquainted with sorrow. Ah, how well I understand his
deprivation—the perpetual night in which he dwelt—
O dark, dark, amid the blaze of noon, Irrecoverably dark, total
eclipse Without all hope of day!
In imagination I can hear Homer singing, as with unsteady,
hesitating steps he gropes his way from camp to camp—singing of
life, of love, of war, of the splendid achievements of a noble race.
It was a wonderful, glorious song, and it won the blind poet an
immortal crown, the admiration of all ages.
I sometimes wonder if the hand is not more sensitive to the
beauties of sculpture than the eye. I should think the wonderful
rhythmical flow of lines and curves could be more subtly felt than
seen. Be this as it may, I know that I can feel the heart-throbs of
the ancient Greeks in their marble gods and goddesses.
Another pleasure, which comes more rarely than the others, is
going to the theatre. I enjoy having a play described to me while it
is being acted on the stage far more than reading it, because then it
seems as if I were living in the midst of stirring events. It has been
my privilege to meet a few great actors and actresses who have the
power of so bewitching you that you forget time and place and live
again in the romantic past. I have been permitted to touch the face
and costume of Miss Ellen Terry as she impersonated our ideal of a
queen; and there was about her that divinity that hedges sublimest
woe. Beside her stood Sir Henry Irving, wearing the symbols of
kingship; and there was majesty of intellect in his every gesture and
attitude and the royalty that subdues and overcomes in every line of
his sensitive face. In the king's face, which he wore as a mask, there
was a remoteness and inaccessibility of grief which I shall never
forget.
I also know Mr. Jefferson. I am proud to count him among my
friends. I go to see him whenever I happen to be where he is acting.
The first time I saw him act was while at school in New York. He
played "Rip Van Winkle." I had often read the story, but I had never
felt the charm of Rip's slow, quaint, kind ways as I did in the play.
Mr. Jefferson's, beautiful, pathetic representation quite carried me
away with delight. I have a picture of old Rip in my fingers which
they will never lose. After the play Miss Sullivan took me to see him
behind the scenes, and I felt of his curious garb and his flowing hair
and beard. Mr. Jefferson let me touch his face so that I could
imagine how he looked on waking from that strange sleep of twenty
years, and he showed me how poor old Rip staggered to his feet.
I have also seen him in "The Rivals." Once while I was calling on
him in Boston he acted the most striking parts of "The Rivals" for
me. The reception-room where we sat served for a stage. He and his son
seated themselves at the big table, and Bob Acres wrote his challenge.
I followed all his movements with my hands, and caught the drollery of
his blunders and gestures in a way that would have been impossible had
it all been spelled to me. Then they rose to fight the duel, and I
followed the swift thrusts and parries of the swords and the waverings
of poor Bob as his courage oozed out at his finger ends. Then the
great actor gave his coat a hitch and his mouth a twitch, and in an
instant I was in the village of Falling Water and felt Schneider's
shaggy head against my knee. Mr. Jefferson recited the best dialogues
of "Rip Van Winkle," in which the tear came close upon the smile. He
asked me to indicate as far as I could the gestures and action that
should go with the lines. Of course, I have no sense whatever of
dramatic action, and could make only random guesses; but with
masterful art he suited the action to the word. The sigh of Rip as he
murmurs, "Is a man so soon forgotten when he is gone?" the dismay with
which he searches for dog and gun after his long sleep, and his
comical irresolution over signing the contract with Derrick—all these
seem to be right out of life itself; that is, the ideal life, where
things happen as we think they should.
I remember well the first time I went to the theatre. It was
twelve years ago. Elsie Leslie, the little actress, was in Boston,
and Miss Sullivan took me to see her in "The Prince and the Pauper." I
shall never forget the ripple of alternating joy and woe that ran
through that beautiful little play, or the wonderful child who acted
it. After the play I was permitted to go behind the scenes and meet
her in her royal costume. It would have been hard to find a lovelier
or more lovable child than Elsie, as she stood with a cloud of golden
hair floating over her shoulders, smiling brightly, showing no signs
of shyness or fatigue, though she had been playing to an immense
audience. I was only just learning to speak, and had previously
repeated her name until I could say it perfectly. Imagine my delight
when she understood the few words I spoke to her and without
hesitation stretched her hand to greet me.
Is it not true, then, that my life with all its limitations
touches at many points the life of the World Beautiful? Everything
has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever
state I may be in, therein to be content.
Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold
mist as I sit alone and wait at life's shut gate. Beyond there is
light, and music, and sweet companionship; but I may not enter. Fate,
silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question his imperious
decree, for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate; but my
tongue will not utter the bitter, futile words that rise to my lips,
and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits
immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers,
"There is joy in self-forgetfulness." So I try to make the light in
others' eyes my sun, the music in others' ears my symphony, the smile
on others' lips my happiness.
Would that I could enrich this sketch with the names of all those
who have ministered to my happiness! Some of them would be found
written in our literature and dear to the hearts of many, while
others would be wholly unknown to most of my readers. But their
influence, though it escapes fame, shall live immortal in the lives
that have been sweetened and ennobled by it. Those are red-letter days
in our lives when we meet people who thrill us like a fine poem,
people whose handshake is brimful of unspoken sympathy, and whose
sweet, rich natures impart to our eager, impatient spirits a wonderful
restfulness which, in its essence, is divine. The perplexities,
irritations and worries that have absorbed us pass like unpleasant
dreams, and we wake to see with new eyes and hear with new ears the
beauty and harmony of God's real world. The solemn nothings that fill
our everyday life blossom suddenly into bright possibilities. In a
word, while such friends are near us we feel that all is well. Perhaps
we never saw them before, and they may never cross our life's path
again; but the influence of their calm, mellow natures is a libation
poured upon our discontent, and we feel its healing touch, as the
ocean feels the mountain stream freshening its brine.
I have often been asked, "Do not people bore you?" I do not
understand quite what that means. I suppose the calls of the stupid
and curious, especially of newspaper reporters, are always
inopportune. I also dislike people who try to talk down to my
understanding. They are like people who when walking with you try to
shorten their steps to suit yours; the hypocrisy in both cases is
equally exasperating.
The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of
some hands is an impertinence. I have met people so empty of joy,
that when I clasped their frosty finger tips, it seemed as if I were
shaking hands with a northeast storm. Others there are whose hands
have sunbeams in them, so that their grasp warms my heart. It may be
only the clinging touch of a child's hand; but there is as much
potential sunshine in it for me as there is in a loving glance for
others. A hearty handshake or a friendly letter gives me genuine
pleasure.
I have many far-off friends whom I have never seen. Indeed they
are so many that I have often been unable to reply to their letters;
but I wish to say here that I am always grateful for their kind words,
however insufficiently I acknowledge them.
I count it one of the sweetest privileges of my life to have known
and conversed with many men of genius. Only those who knew Bishop
Brooks can appreciate the joy his friendship was to those who
possessed it. As a child I loved to sit on his knee and clasp his
great hand with one of mine, while Miss Sullivan spelled into the
other his beautiful words about God and the spiritual world. I heard
him with a child's wonder and delight. My spirit could not reach up to
his, but he gave me a real sense of joy in life, and I never left him
without carrying away a fine thought that grew in beauty and depth of
meaning as I grew. Once, when I was puzzled to know why there were so
many religions, he said: "There is one universal religion, Helen—the
religion of love. Love your Heavenly Father with your whole heart and
soul, love every child of God as much as ever you can, and remember
that the possibilities of good are greater than the possibilities of
evil; and you have the key to Heaven." And his life was a happy
illustration of this great truth. In his noble soul love and widest
knowledge were blended with faith that had become insight. He saw
God in all that liberates and lifts, In all that humbles, sweetens
and consoles.
Bishop Brooks taught me no special creed or dogma; but he
impressed upon my mind two great ideas—the fatherhood of God and the
brotherhood of man, and made me feel that these truths underlie all
creeds and forms of worship. God is love, God is our Father, we are
His children; therefore the darkest clouds will break and though right
be worsted, wrong shall not triumph.
I am too happy in this world to think much about the future,
except to remember that I have cherished friends awaiting me there in
God's beautiful Somewhere. In spite of the lapse of years, they seem
so close to me that I should not think it strange if at any moment
they should clasp my hand and speak words of endearment as they used
to before they went away.
Since Bishop Brooks died I have read the Bible through; also some
philosophical works on religion, among them Swedenborg's "Heaven and
Hell" and Drummond's "Ascent of Man," and I have found no creed or
system more soul-satisfying than Bishop Brooks's creed of love. I knew
Mr. Henry Drummond, and the memory of his strong, warm hand-clasp is
like a benediction. He was the most sympathetic of companions. He knew
so much and was so genial that it was impossible to feel dull in his
presence.
I remember well the first time I saw Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes. He
had invited Miss Sullivan and me to call on him one Sunday afternoon.
It was early in the spring, just after I had learned to speak. We were
shown at once to his library where we found him seated in a big
armchair by an open fire which glowed and crackled on the hearth,
thinking, he said, of other days.
"And listening to the murmur of the River Charles," I suggested.
"Yes," he replied, "the Charles has many dear associations for
me." There was an odour of print and leather in the room which told
me that it was full of books, and I stretched out my hand
instinctively to find them. My fingers lighted upon a beautiful
volume of Tennyson's poems, and when Miss Sullivan told me what it
was I began to recite:
Break, break, break On thy cold gray stones, O sea!
But I stopped suddenly. I felt tears on my hand. I had made my
beloved poet weep, and I was greatly distressed. He made me sit in
his armchair, while he brought different interesting things for me to
examine, and at his request I recited "The Chambered Nautilus," which
was then my favorite poem. After that I saw Dr. Holmes many times and
learned to love the man as well as the poet.
One beautiful summer day, not long after my meeting with Dr.
Holmes, Miss Sullivan and I visited Whittier in his quiet home on the
Merrimac. His gentle courtesy and quaint speech won my heart. He had a
book of his poems in raised print from which I read "In School Days."
He was delighted that I could pronounce the words so well, and said
that he had no difficulty in understanding me. Then I asked many
questions about the poem, and read his answers by placing my fingers
on his lips. He said he was the little boy in the poem, and that the
girl's name was Sally, and more which I have forgotten. I also recited
"Laus Deo," and as I spoke the concluding verses, he placed in my
hands a statue of a slave from whose crouching figure the fetters were
falling, even as they fell from Peter's limbs when the angel led him
forth out of prison. Afterward we went into his study, and he wrote
his autograph for my teacher ["With great admiration of thy noble
work in releasing from bondage the mind of thy dear pupil, I am truly
thy friend. john J. Whittier."] and expressed his admiration of her
work, saying to me, "She is thy spiritual liberator." Then he led me
to the gate and kissed me tenderly on my forehead. I promised to visit
him again the following summer, but he died before the promise was
fulfilled.
Dr. Edward Everett Hale is one of my very oldest friends. I have
known him since I was eight, and my love for him has increased with
my years. His wise, tender sympathy has been the support of Miss
Sullivan and me in times of trial and sorrow, and his strong hand has
helped us over many rough places; and what he has done for us he has
done for thousands of those who have difficult tasks to accomplish. He
has filled the old skins of dogma with the new wine of love, and shown
men what it is to believe, live and be free. What he has taught we
have seen beautifully expressed in his own life—love of country,
kindness to the least of his brethren, and a sincere desire to live
upward and onward. He has been a prophet and an inspirer of men, and a
mighty doer of the Word, the friend of all his race—God bless him!
I have already written of my first meeting with Dr. Alexander
Graham Bell. Since then I have spent many happy days with him at
Washington and at his beautiful home in the heart of Cape Breton
Island, near Baddeck, the village made famous by Charles Dudley
Warner's book. Here in Dr. Bell's laboratory, or in the fields on the
shore of the great Bras d'Or, I have spent many delightful hours
listening to what he had to tell me about his experiments, and helping
him fly kites by means of which he expects to discover the laws that
shall govern the future air-ship. Dr. Bell is proficient in many
fields of science, and has the art of making every subject he touches
interesting, even the most abstruse theories. He makes you feel that
if you only had a little more time, you, too, might be an inventor. He
has a humorous and poetic side, too. His dominating passion is his
love for children. He is never quite so happy as when he has a little
deaf child in his arms. His labours in behalf of the deaf will live
on and bless generations of children yet to come; and we love him
alike for what he himself has achieved and for what he has evoked from
others.
During the two years I spent in New York I had many opportunities
to talk with distinguished people whose names I had often heard, but
whom I had never expected to meet. Most of them I met first in the
house of my good friend, Mr. Laurence Hutton. It was a great privilege
to visit him and dear Mrs. Hutton in their lovely home, and see their
library and read the beautiful sentiments and bright thoughts gifted
friends had written for them. It has been truly said that Mr. Hutton
has the faculty of bringing out in every one the best thoughts and
kindest sentiments. One does not need to read "A Boy I Knew" to
understand him—the most generous, sweet-natured boy I ever knew, a
good friend in all sorts of weather, who traces the footprints of love
in the life of dogs as well as in that of his fellowmen.
Mrs. Hutton is a true and tried friend. Much that I hold sweetest,
much that I hold most precious, I owe to her. She has oftenest advised
and helped me in my progress through college. When I find my work
particularly difficult and discouraging, she writes me letters that
make me feel glad and brave; for she is one of those from whom we
learn that one painful duty fulfilled makes the next plainer and
easier.
Mr. Hutton introduced me to many of his literary friends, greatest
of whom are Mr. William Dean Howells and Mark Twain. I also met Mr.
Richard Watson Gilder and Mr. Edmund Clarence Stedman. I also knew Mr.
Charles Dudley Warner, the most delightful of story-tellers and the
most beloved friend, whose sympathy was so broad that it may be truly
said of him, he loved all living things and his neighbour as himself.
Once Mr. Warner brought to see me the dear poet of the woodlands—Mr.
John Burroughs. They were all gentle and sympathetic and I felt the
charm of their manner as much as I had felt the brilliancy of their
essays and poems. I could not keep pace with all these literary folk
as they glanced from subject to subject and entered into deep dispute,
or made conversation sparkle with epigrams and happy witticisms. I was
like little Ascanius, who followed with unequal steps the heroic
strides of Aeneas on his march toward mighty destinies. But they spoke
many gracious words to me. Mr. Gilder told me about his moonlight
journeys across the vast desert to the Pyramids, and in a letter he
wrote me he made his mark under his signature deep in the paper so
that I could feel it. This reminds me that Dr. Hale used to give a
personal touch to his letters to me by pricking his signature in
braille. I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories.
He has his own way of thinking, saying and doing everything. I feel
the twinkle of his eye in his handshake. Even while he utters his
cynical wisdom in an indescribably droll voice, he makes you feel
that his heart is a tender Iliad of human sympathy.
There are a host of other interesting people I met in New York:
Mrs. Mary Mapes Dodge, the beloved editor of St. Nicholas, and Mrs.
Riggs (Kate Douglas Wiggin), the sweet author of "Patsy." I received
from them gifts that have the gentle concurrence of the heart, books
containing their own thoughts, soul-illumined letters, and photographs
that I love to have described again and again. But there is not space
to mention all my friends, and indeed there are things about them
hidden behind the wings of cherubim, things too sacred to set forth in
cold print. It is with hesitancy that I have spoken even of Mrs.
Laurence Hutton.
I shall mention only two other friends. One is Mrs. William Thaw,
of Pittsburgh, whom I have often visited in her home, Lyndhurst. She
is always doing something to make some one happy, and her generosity
and wise counsel have never failed my teacher and me in all the years
we have known her.
To the other friend I am also deeply indebted. He is well known
for the powerful hand with which he guides vast enterprises, and his
wonderful abilities have gained for him the respect of all. Kind to
every one, he goes about doing good, silent and unseen. Again I touch
upon the circle of honoured names I must not mention; but I would fain
acknowledge his generosity and affectionate interest which make it
possible for me to go to college.
Thus it is that my friends have made the story of my life. In a
thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful
privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow
cast by my deprivation.
Helen Keller's letters are important, not only as a supplementary
story of her life, but as a demonstration of her growth in thought
and expression—the growth which in itself has made her distinguished.
These letters are, however, not merely remarkable as the
productions of a deaf and blind girl, to be read with wonder and
curiosity; they are good letters almost from the first. The best
passages are those in which she talks about herself, and gives her
world in terms of her experience of it. Her views on the precession of
the equinoxes are not important, but most important are her accounts
of what speech meant to her, of how she felt the statues, the dogs,
the chickens at the poultry show, and how she stood in the aisle of
St. Bartholomew's and felt the organ rumble. Those are passages of
which one would ask for more. The reason they are comparatively few is
that all her life she has been trying to be "like other people," and
so she too often describes things not as they appear to her, but as
they appear to one with eyes and ears.
One cause for the excellence of her letters is the great number of
them. They are the exercises which have trained her to write. She has
lived at different times in different parts of the country, and so has
been separated from most of her friends and relatives. Of her friends,
many have been distinguished people, to whom—not often, I think, at
the sacrifice of spontaneity—she has felt it necessary to write well.
To them and to a few friends with whom she is in closest sympathy she
writes with intimate frankness whatever she is thinking about. Her
naive retelling of a child's tale she has heard, like the story of
"Little Jakey," which she rehearses for Dr. Holmes and Bishop Brooks,
is charming and her grave paraphrase of the day's lesson in geography
or botany, her parrot-like repetition of what she has heard, and her
conscious display of new words, are delightful and instructive; for
they show not only what she was learning, but how, by putting it all
into letters, she made the new knowledge and the new words her own.
So these selections from Miss Keller's correspondence are made
with two purposes—to show her development and to preserve the most
entertaining and significant passages from several hundred letters.
Many of those written before 1892 were published in the reports of the
Perkins Institution for the Blind. All letters up to that year are
printed intact, for it is legitimate to be interested in the degree of
skill the child showed in writing, even to details of punctuation; so
it is well to preserve a literal integrity of reproduction. From the
letters after the year 1892 I have culled in the spirit of one making
an anthology, choosing the passages best in style and most important
from the point of view of biography. Where I have been able to collate
the original letters I have preserved everything as Miss Keller wrote
it, punctuation, spelling, and all. I have done nothing but select
and cut.
The letters are arranged in chronological order. One or two
letters from Bishop Brooks, Dr. Holmes, and Whittier are put
immediately after the letters to which they are replies. Except for
two or three important letters of 1901, these selections cease with
the year 1900. In that year Miss Keller entered college. Now that she
is a grown woman, her mature letters should be judged like those of
any other person, and it seems best that no more of her correspondence
be published unless she should become distinguished beyond the fact
that she is the only well-educated deaf and blind person in the world.
LETTERS (1887-1901)
Miss Sullivan began to teach Helen Keller on March 3rd, 1887.
Three months and a half after the first word was spelled into her
hand, she wrote in pencil this letter
TO HER COUSIN ANNA, MRS. GEORGE T. TURNER [Tuscumbia, Alabama,
June 17, 1887.]
helen write anna george will give helen apple simpson will shoot
bird jack will give helen stick of candy doctor will give mildred
medicine mother will make mildred new dress [No signature]
Twenty-five days later, while she was on a short visit away from
home, she wrote to her mother. Two words are almost illegible, and
the angular print slants in every direction.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER [Huntsville, Alabama, July 12, 1887.]
Helen will write mother letter papa did give helen medicine
mildred will sit in swing mildred did kiss helen teacher did give
helen peach george is sick in bed george arm is hurt anna did give
helen lemonade dog did stand up.
conductor did punch ticket papa did give helen drink of water in
car
carlotta did give helen flowers anna will buy helen pretty new hat
helen will hug and kiss mother helen will come home grandmother does
love helen
good-by [No signature.]
By the following September Helen shows improvement in fulness of
construction and more extended relations of thought.
TO THE BLIND GIRLS AT THE PERKINS INSTITUTION IN SOUTH BOSTON
[Tuscumbia, September, 1887.]
Helen will write little blind girls a letter Helen and teacher
will come to see little blind girls Helen and teacher will go in
steam car to boston Helen and blind girls will have fun blind girls
can talk on fingers Helen will see Mr anagnos Mr anagnos will love and
kiss Helen Helen will go to school with blind girls Helen can read and
count and spell and write like blind girls mildred will not go to
boston Mildred does cry prince and jumbo will go to boston papa does
shoot ducks with gun and ducks do fall in water and jumbo and mamie do
swim in water and bring ducks out in mouth to papa Helen does play
with dogs Helen does ride on horseback with teacher Helen does give
handee grass in hand teacher does whip handee to go fast Helen is
blind Helen will put letter in envelope for blind girls good-by
HELEN KELLER
A few weeks later her style is more nearly correct and freer in
movement. She improves in idiom, although she still omits articles
and uses the "did" construction for the simple past. This is an idiom
common among children.
TO THE BLIND GIRLS AT THE PERKINS INSTITUTION [Tuscumbia, October
24, 1887.]
dear little blind girls
I will write you a letter I thank you for pretty desk I did write
to mother in memphis on it mother and mildred came home wednesday
mother brought me a pretty new dress and hat papa did go to
huntsville he brought me apples and candy I and teacher will come to
boston and see you nancy is my doll she does cry I do rock nancy to
sleep mildred is sick doctor will give her medicine to make her well.
I and teacher did go to church sunday mr. lane did read in book and
talk Lady did play organ. I did give man money in basket. I will be
good girl and teacher will curl my hair lovely. I will hug and kiss
little blind girls mr. anagnos will come to see me.
good-by HELEN KELLER
TO MR. MICHAEL ANAGNOS, DIRECTOR OF THE PERKINS INSTITUTION
[Tuscumbia, November, 1887.]
dear mr. anagnos I will write you a letter. I and teacher did have
pictures. teacher will send it to you. photographer does make
pictures. carpenter does build new houses. gardener does dig and hoe
ground and plant vegetables. my doll nancy is sleeping. she is sick.
mildred is well uncle frank has gone hunting deer. we will have
venison for breakfast when he comes home. I did ride in wheel barrow
and teacher did push it. simpson did give me popcorn and walnuts.
cousin rosa has gone to see her mother. people do go to church sunday.
I did read in my book about fox and box. fox can sit in the box. I do
like to read in my book. you do love me. I do love you.
good-by HELEN KELLER.
TO DR. ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL [Tuscumbia, November, 1887.]
Dear Mr. Bell. I am glad to write you a letter, Father will send
you picture. I and Father and aunt did go to see you in Washington. I
did play with your watch. I do love you. I saw doctor in Washington.
He looked at my eyes. I can read stories in my book. I can write and
spell and count. good girl. My sister can walk and run. We do have
fun with Jumbo. Prince is not good dog. He can not get birds. Rat did
kill baby pigeons. I am sorry. Rat does not know wrong. I and mother
and teacher will go to Boston in June. I will see little blind girls.
Nancy will go with me. She is a good doll. Father will buy me lovely
new watch. Cousin Anna gave me a pretty doll. Her name is Allie.
Good-by,
HELEN A. KELLER.
By the beginning of the next year her idioms are firmer. More
adjectives appear, including adjectives of colour. Although she can
have no sensuous knowledge of colour, she can use the words, as we use
most of our vocabulary, intellectually, with truth, not to impression,
but to fact. This letter is to a school-mate at the Perkins
Institution.
TO MISS SARAH TOMLINSON Tuscumbia, Ala. Jan. 2nd 1888.
Dear Sarah I am happy to write to you this morning. I hope Mr.
Anagnos is coming to see me soon. I will go to Boston in June and I
will buy father gloves, and James nice collar, and Simpson cuffs. I
saw Miss Betty and her scholars. They had a pretty Christmas-tree,
and there were many pretty presents on it for little children. I had
a mug, and little bird and candy. I had many lovely things for
Christmas. Aunt gave me a trunk for Nancy and clothes. I went to party
with teacher and mother. We did dance and play and eat nuts and candy
and cakes and oranges and I did have fun with little boys and girls.
Mrs. Hopkins did send me lovely ring, I do love her and little blind
girls.
Men and boys do make carpets in mills. Wool grows on sheep. Men do
cut sheep's wool off with large shears, and send it to the mill. Men
and women do make wool cloth in mills.
Cotton grows on large stalks in fields. Men and boys and girls and
women do pick cotton. We do make thread and cotton dresses of cotton.
Cotton has pretty white and red flowers on it. Teacher did tear her
dress. Mildred does cry. I will nurse Nancy. Mother will buy me lovely
new aprons and dress to take to Boston. I went to Knoxville with
father and aunt. Bessie is weak and little. Mrs. Thompson's chickens
killed Leila's chickens. Eva does sleep in my bed. I do love good
girls.
Good-by HELEN KELLER.
The next two letters mention her visit in January to her relatives
in Memphis, Tennessee. She was taken to the cotton exchange. When she
felt the maps and blackboards she asked, "Do men go to school?" She
wrote on the blackboard the names of all the gentlemen present. While
at Memphis she went over one of the large Mississippi steamers.
TO DR. EDWARD EVERETT HALE Tuscumbia, Alabama, February 15th
[1888].
Dear Mr. Hale, I am happy to write you a letter this morning.
Teacher told me about kind gentleman I shall be glad to read pretty
story I do read stories in my book about tigers and lions and sheep.
I am coming to Boston in June to see little blind girls and I will
come to see you. I went to Memphis to see grandmother and Aunt Nannie.
Teacher bought me lovely new dress and cap and aprons. Little Natalie
is a very weak and small baby. Father took us to see steamboat. It was
on a large river. Boat is like house. Mildred is a good baby. I do
love to play with little sister. Nancy was not a good child when I
went to Memphis. She did cry loud. I will not write more to-day. I am
tired.
Good-by HELEN KELLER.
TO MR. MICHAEL ANAGNOS Tuscumbia, Ala., Feb. 24th, 1888.
My dear Mr. Anagnos,—I am glad to write you a letter in Braille.
This morning Lucien Thompson sent me a beautiful bouquet of violets
and crocuses and jonquils. Sunday Adeline Moses brought me a lovely
doll. It came from New York. Her name is Adeline Keller. She can shut
her eyes and bend her arms and sit down and stand up straight. She has
on a pretty red dress. She is Nancy's sister and I am their mother.
Allie is their cousin. Nancy was a bad child when I went to Memphis
she cried loud, I whipped her with a stick.
Mildred does feed little chickens with crumbs. I love to play with
little sister.
Teacher and I went to Memphis to see aunt Nannie and grandmother.
Louise is aunt Nannie's child. Teacher bought me a lovely new dress
and gloves and stockings and collars and grandmother made me warm
flannels, and aunt Nannie made me aprons. Lady made me a pretty cap. I
went to see Robert and Mr. Graves and Mrs. Graves and little Natalie,
and Mr. Farris and Mr. Mayo and Mary and everyone. I do love Robert
and teacher. She does not want me to write more today. I feel tired.
I found box of candy in Mr. Grave's pocket. Father took us to see
steam boat it is like house. Boat was on very large river. Yates
plowed yard today to plant grass. Mule pulled plow. Mother will make
garden of vegetables. Father will plant melons and peas and beans.
Cousin Bell will come to see us Saturday. Mother will make
ice-cream for dinner, we will have ice-cream and cake for dinner.
Lucien Thompson is sick. I am sorry for him.
Teacher and I went to walk in the yard, and I learned about how
flowers and trees grow. Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Sheffield is north and Tuscumbia is south. We will go to Boston in
June. I will have fun with little blind girls.
Good bye HELEN KELLER.
"Uncle Morrie" of the next letter is Mr. Morrison Heady, of
Normandy, Kentucky, who lost his sight and hearing when he was a boy.
He is the author of some commendable verses.
TO MR. MORRISON HEADY Tuscumbia, Ala., March 1st 1888.
My dear uncle Morrie,—I am happy to write you a letter, I do love
you, and I will hug and kiss you when I see you.
Mr. Anagnos is coming to see me Monday. I do love to run and hop
and skip with Robert in bright warm sun. I do know little girl in
Lexington Ky. her name is Katherine Hobson.
I am going to Boston in June with mother and teacher, I will have
fun with little blind girls, and Mr. Hale will send me pretty story.
I do read stories in my book about lions and tigers and bears.
Mildred will not go to Boston, she does cry. I love to play with
little sister, she is weak and small baby. Eva is better.
Yates killed ants, ants stung Yates. Yates is digging in garden.
Mr. Anagnos did see oranges, they look like golden apples.
Robert will come to see me Sunday when sun shines and I will have
fun with him. My cousin Frank lives in Louisville. I will come to
Memphis again to see Mr. Farris and Mrs. Graves and Mr. Mayo and Mr.
Graves. Natalie is a good girl and does not cry, and she will be big
and Mrs. Graves is making short dresses for her. Natalie has a little
carriage. Mr. Mayo has been to Duck Hill and he brought sweet flowers
home.
With much love and a kiss HELEN A. KELLER.
In this account of the picnic we get an illuminating glimpse of
Miss Sullivan's skill in teaching her pupil during play hours. This
was a day when the child's vocabulary grew.
TO MR. MICHAEL ANAGNOS Tuscumbia, Ala., May 3rd 1888.
Dear Mr. Anagnos.—I am glad to write to you this morning, because
I love you very much. I was very happy to receive pretty book and nice
candy and two letters from you. I will come to see you soon and will
ask you many questions about countries and you will love good child.
Mother is making me pretty new dresses to wear in Boston and I
will look lovely to see little girls and boys and you. Friday teacher
and I went to a picnic with little children. We played games and ate
dinner under the trees, and we found ferns and wild flowers. I walked
in the woods and learned names of many trees. There are poplar and
cedar and pine and oak and ash and hickory and maple trees. They make
a pleasant shade and the little birds love to swing to and fro and
sing sweetly up in the trees. Rabbits hop and squirrels run and ugly
snakes do crawl in the woods. Geraniums and roses jasamines and
japonicas are cultivated flowers. I help mother and teacher water them
every night before supper.
Cousin Arthur made me a swing in the ash tree. Aunt Ev. has gone
to Memphis. Uncle Frank is here. He is picking strawberries for
dinner. Nancy is sick again, new teeth do make her ill. Adeline is
well and she can go to Cincinnati Monday with me. Aunt Ev. will send
me a boy doll, Harry will be Nancy's and Adeline's brother. Wee sister
is a good girl. I am tired now and I do want to go down stairs. I send
many kisses and hugs with letter.
Your darling child HELEN KELLER.
Toward the end of May Mrs. Keller, Helen, and Miss Sullivan
started for Boston. On the way they spent a few days in Washington,
where they saw Dr. Alexander Graham Bell and called on President
Cleveland. On May 26th they arrived in Boston and went to the Perkins
Institution; here Helen met the little blind girls with whom she had
corresponded the year before.
Early in July she went to Brewster, Massachusetts, and spent the
rest of the summer. Here occurred her first encounter with the sea,
of which she has since written.
TO MISS MARY C. MOORE So. Boston, Mass. Sept. 1888
My dear Miss Moore Are you very glad to receive a nice letter from
your darling little friend? I love you very dearly because you are my
friend. My precious little sister is quite well now. She likes to sit
in my little rocking-chair and put her kitty to sleep. Would you like
to see darling little Mildred? She is a very pretty baby. Her eyes are
very big and blue, and her cheeks are soft and round and rosy and her
hair is very bright and golden. She is very good and sweet when she
does not cry loud. Next summer Mildred will go out in the garden with
me and pick the big sweet strawberries and then she will be very
happy. I hope she will not eat too many of the delicious fruit for
they will make her very ill.
Sometime will you please come to Alabama and visit me? My uncle
James is going to buy me a very gentle pony and a pretty cart and I
shall be very happy to take you and Harry to ride. I hope Harry will
not be afraid of my pony. I think my father will buy me a beautiful
little brother some day. I shall be very gentle and patient to my new
little brother. When I visit many strange countries my brother and
Mildred will stay with grandmother because they will be too small to
see a great many people and I think they would cry loud on the great
rough ocean.
When Capt. Baker gets well he will take me in his big ship to
Africa. Then I shall see lions and tigers and monkeys. I will get a
baby lion and a white monkey and a mild bear to bring home. I had a
very pleasant time at Brewster. I went in bathing almost every day and
Carrie and Frank and little Helen and I had fun. We splashed and
jumped and waded in the deep water. I am not afraid to float now. Can
Harry float and swim? We came to Boston last Thursday, and Mr. Anagnos
was delighted to see me, and he hugged and kissed me. The little girls
are coming back to school next Wednesday.
Will you please tell Harry to write me a very long letter soon?
When you come to Tuscumbia to see me I hope my father will have many
sweet apples and juicy peaches and fine pears and delicious grapes and
large water melons.
I hope you think about me and love me because I am a good little
child.
With much love and two kisses From your little friend HELEN A.
KELLER.
In this account of a visit to some friends, Helen's thought is
much what one would expect from an ordinary child of eight, except
perhaps her naive satisfaction in the boldness of the young gentlemen.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER So. Boston, Mass, Sept. 24th [1888].
My dear Mother, I think you will be very glad to know all about my
visit to West Newton. Teacher and I had a lovely time with many kind
friends. West Newton is not far from Boston and we went there in the
steam cars very quickly.
Mrs. Freeman and Carrie and Ethel and Frank and Helen came to
station to meet us in a huge carriage. I was delighted to see my dear
little friends and I hugged and kissed them. Then we rode for a long
time to see all the beautiful things in West Newton. Many very
handsome houses and large soft green lawns around them and trees and
bright flowers and fountains. The horse's name was Prince and he was
gentle and liked to trot very fast. When we went home we saw eight
rabbits and two fat puppies, and a nice little white pony, and two wee
kittens and a pretty curly dog named Don. Pony's name was Mollie and I
had a nice ride on her back; I was not afraid, I hope my uncle will
get me a dear little pony and a little cart very soon.
Clifton did not kiss me because he does not like to kiss little
girls. He is shy. I am very glad that Frank and Clarence and Robbie
and Eddie and Charles and George were not very shy. I played with many
little girls and we had fun. I rode on Carrie's tricicle and picked
flowers and ate fruit and hopped and skipped and danced and went to
ride. Many ladies and gentlemen came to see us. Lucy and Dora and
Charles were born in China. I was born in America, and Mr. Anagnos was
born in Greece. Mr. Drew says little girls in China cannot talk on
their fingers but I think when I go to China I will teach them.
Chinese nurse came to see me, her name was Asu. She showed me a tiny
atze that very rich ladies in China wear because their feet never grow
large. Amah means a nurse. We came home in horse cars because it was
Sunday and steam cars do not go often on Sunday. Conductors and
engineers do get very tired and go home to rest. I saw little Willie
Swan in the car and he gave me a juicy pear. He was six years old.
What did I do when I was six years old? Will you please ask my father
to come to train to meet teacher and me? I am very sorry that Eva and
Bessie are sick. I hope I can have a nice party my birthday, and I do
want Carrie and Ethel and Frank and Helen to come to Alabama to visit
me. Will Mildred sleep with me when I come home.
With much love and thousand kisses. From your dear little
daughter. HELEN A. KELLER.
Her visit to Plymouth was in July. This letter, written three
months later, shows how well she remembered her first lesson in
history.
TO MR. MORRISON HEADY South Boston, Mass. October 1st, 1888.
My dear uncle Morrie,—I think you will be very glad to receive a
letter from your dear little friend Helen. I am very happy to write
to you because I think of you and love you. I read pretty stories in
the book you sent me, about Charles and his boat, and Arthur and his
dream, and Rosa and the sheep.
I have been in a large boat. It was like a ship. Mother and
teacher and Mrs. Hopkins and Mr. Anagnos and Mr. Rodocanachi and many
other friends went to Plymouth to see many old things. I will tell you
a little story about Plymouth.
Many years ago there lived in England many good people, but the
king and his friends were not kind and gentle and patient with good
people, because the king did not like to have the people disobey him.
People did not like to go to church with the king; but they did like
to build very nice little churches for themselves.
The king was very angry with the people and they were sorry and
they said, we will go away to a strange country to live and leave
very dear home and friends and naughty king. So, they put all their
things into big boxes, and said, Good-bye. I am sorry for them because
they cried much. When they went to Holland they did not know anyone;
and they could not know what the people were talking about because
they did not know Dutch. But soon they learned some Dutch words; but
they loved their own language and they did not want little boys and
girls to forget it and learn to talk funny Dutch. So they said, We
must go to a new country far away and build schools and houses and
churches and make new cities. So they put all their things in boxes
and said, Good-bye to their new friends and sailed away in a large
boat to find a new country. Poor people were not happy for their
hearts were full of sad thoughts because they did not know much about
America. I think little children must have been afraid of a great
ocean for it is very strong and it makes a large boat rock and then
the little children would fall down and hurt their heads. After they
had been many weeks on the deep ocean where they could not see trees
or flowers or grass, but just water and the beautiful sky, for ships
could not sail quickly then because men did not know about engines and
steam. One day a dear little baby-boy was born. His name was Peregrine
White. I am very sorry that poor little Peregrine is dead now. Every
day the people went upon deck to look out for land. One day there was
a great shout on the ship for the people saw the land and they were
full of joy because they had reached a new country safely. Little
girls and boys jumped and clapped their hands. They were all glad when
they stepped upon a huge rock. I did see the rock in Plymouth and a
little ship like the Mayflower and the cradle that dear little
Peregrine slept in and many old things that came in the Mayflower.
Would you like to visit Plymouth some time and see many old things.
Now I am very tired and I will rest.
With much love and many kisses, from your little friend. HELEN A.
KELLER.
The foreign words in these two letters, the first of which was
written during a visit to the kindergarten for the blind, she had
been told months before, and had stowed them away in her memory. She
assimilated words and practised with them, sometimes using them
intelligently, sometimes repeating them in a parrot-like fashion. Even
when she did not fully understand words or ideas, she liked to set
them down as though she did. It was in this way that she learned to
use correctly words of sound and vision which express ideas outside of
her experience. "Edith" is Edith Thomas.
TO MR. MICHAEL ANAGNOS Roxbury, Mass. Oct. 17th, 1888.
Mon cher Monsieur Anagnos,
I am sitting by the window and the beautiful sun is shining on me
Teacher and I came to the kindergarten yesterday. There are twenty
seven little children here and they are all blind. I am sorry because
they cannot see much. Sometime will they have very well eyes? Poor
Edith is blind and deaf and dumb. Are you very sad for Edith and me?
Soon I shall go home to see my mother and my father and my dear good
and sweet little sister. I hope you will come to Alabama to visit me
and I will take you to ride in my little cart and I think you will
like to see me on my dear little pony's back. I shall wear my lovely
cap and my new riding dress. If the sun shines brightly I will take
you to see Leila and Eva and Bessie. When I am thirteen years old I am
going to travel in many strange and beautiful countries. I shall climb
very high mountains in Norway and see much ice and snow. I hope I
will not fall and hurt my head I shall visit little Lord Fauntleroy
in England and he will be glad to show me his grand and very ancient
castle. And we will run with the deer and feed the rabbits and catch
the squirrels. I shall not be afraid of Fauntleroy's great dog Dougal.
I hope Fauntleroy take me to see a very kind queen. When I go to
France I will take French. A little French boy will say, Parlez-vous
Francais? and I will say, Oui, Monsieur, vous avez un joli chapeau.
Donnez moi un baiser. I hope you will go with me to Athens to see the
maid of Athens. She was very lovely lady and I will talk Greek to her.
I will say, se agapo and, pos echete and I think she will say, kalos,
and then I will say chaere. Will you please come to see me soon and
take me to the theater? When you come I will say, Kale emera, and when
you go home I will say, Kale nykta. Now I am too tired to write more.
Je vous aime. Au revoir
From your darling little friend HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MISS EVELINA H. KELLER [So. Boston, Mass. October 29, 1888.]
My dearest Aunt,—I am coming home very soon and I think you and
every one will be very glad to see my teacher and me. I am very happy
because I have learned much about many things. I am studying French
and German and Latin and Greek. Se agapo is Greek, and it means I love
thee. J'ai une bonne petite soeur is French, and it means I have a
good little sister. Nous avons un bon pere et une bonne mere means, we
have a good father and a good mother. Puer is boy in Latin, and Mutter
is mother in German. I will teach Mildred many languages when I come
home. HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MRS. SOPHIA C. HOPKINS Tuscumbia, Ala. Dec. 11th, 1888.
My dear Mrs. Hopkins:— I have just fed my dear little pigeon. My
brother Simpson gave it to me last Sunday. I named it Annie, for my
teacher. My puppy has had his supper and gone to bed. My rabbits are
sleeping, too; and very soon I shall go to bed. Teacher is writing
letters to her friends. Mother and father and their friends have gone
to see a huge furnace. The furnace is to make iron. The iron ore is
found in the ground; but it cannot be used until it has been brought
to the furnace and melted, and all the dirt taken out, and just the
pure iron left. Then it is all ready to be manufactured into engines,
stoves, kettles and many other things.
Coal is found in the ground, too. Many years ago, before people
came to live on the earth, great trees and tall grasses and huge
ferns and all the beautiful flowers cover the earth. When the leaves
and the trees fell, the water and the soil covered them; and then more
trees grew and fell also, and were buried under water and soil. After
they had all been pressed together for many thousands of years, the
wood grew very hard, like rock, and then it was all ready for people
to burn. Can you see leaves and ferns and bark on the coal? Men go
down into the ground and dig out the coal, and steam-cars take it to
the large cities, and sell it to people to burn, to make them warm and
happy when it is cold out of doors.
Are you very lonely and sad now? I hope you will come to see me
soon, and stay a long time.
With much love from your little friend HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MISS DELLA BENNETT Tuscumbia, Ala., Jan. 29, 1889.
My dear Miss Bennett:—I am delighted to write to you this
morning. We have just eaten our breakfast. Mildred is running about
downstairs. I have been reading in my book about astronomers.
Astronomer comes from the Latin word astra, which means stars; and
astronomers are men who study the stars, and tell us about them. When
we are sleeping quietly in our beds, they are watching the beautiful
sky through the telescope. A telescope is like a very strong eye. The
stars are so far away that people cannot tell much about them, without
very excellent instruments. Do you like to look out of your window,
and see little stars? Teacher says she can see Venus from our window,
and it is a large and beautiful star. The stars are called the
earth's brothers and sisters.
There are a great many instruments besides those which the
astronomers use. A knife is an instrument to cut with. I think the
bell is an instrument, too. I will tell you what I know about bells.
Some bells are musical and others are unmusical. Some are very
tiny and some are very large. I saw a very large bell at Wellesley.
It came from Japan. Bells are used for many purposes. They tell us
when breakfast is ready, when to go to school, when it is time for
church, and when there is a fire. They tell people when to go to work,
and when to go home and rest. The engine-bell tells the passengers
that they are coming to a station, and it tells the people to keep out
of the way. Sometimes very terrible accidents happen, and many people
are burned and drowned and injured. The other day I broke my doll's
head off; but that was not a dreadful accident, because dolls do not
live and feel, like people. My little pigeons are well, and so is my
little bird. I would like to have some clay. Teacher says it is time
for me to study now. Good-bye. With much love, and many kisses,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO DR. EDWARD EVERETT HALE Tuscumbia, Alabama, February 21st,
1889.
My dear Mr. Hale, I am very much afraid that you are thinking in
your mind that little Helen has forgotten all about you and her dear
cousins. But I think you will be delighted to receive this letter
because then you will know that I of[ten] think about you and I love
you dearly for you are my dear cousin. I have been at home a great
many weeks now. It made me feel very sad to leave Boston and I missed
all of my friends greatly, but of course I was glad to get back to my
lovely home once more. My darling little sister is growing very fast.
Sometimes she tries to spell very short words on her small [fingers]
but she is too young to remember hard words. When she is older I will
teach her many things if she is patient and obedient. My teacher says,
if children learn to be patient and gentle while they are little, that
when they grow to be young ladies and gentlemen they will not forget
to be kind and loving and brave. I hope I shall be courageous always.
A little girl in a story was not courageous. She thought she saw
little elves with tall pointed [hats] peeping from between the bushes
and dancing down the long alleys, and the poor little girl was
terrified. Did you have a pleasant Christmas? I had many lovely
presents given to me. The other day I had a fine party. All of my
dear little friends came to see me. We played games, and ate
ice-cream and cake and fruit. Then we had great fun. The sun is
shining brightly to-day and I hope we shall go to ride if the roads
are dry. In a few days the beautiful spring will be here. I am very
glad because I love the warm sunshine and the fragrant flowers. I
think Flowers grow to make people happy and good. I have four dolls
now. Cedric is my little boy, he is named for Lord Fauntleroy. He has
big brown eyes and long golden hair and pretty round cheeks. Ida is my
baby. A lady brought her to me from Paris. She can drink milk like a
real baby. Lucy is a fine young lady. She has on a dainty lace dress
and satin slippers. Poor old Nancy is growing old and very feeble. She
is almost an invalid. I have two tame pigeons and a tiny canary bird.
Jumbo is very strong and faithful. He will not let anything harm us at
night. I go to school every day I am studying reading, writing,
arithmetic, geography and language. My Mother and teacher send you
and Mrs. Hale their kind greetings and Mildred sends you a kiss. With
much love and kisses, from your Affectionate cousin HELEN A. KELLER.
During the winter Miss Sullivan and her pupil were working at
Helen's home in Tuscumbia, and to good purpose, for by spring Helen
had learned to write idiomatic English. After May, 1889, I find almost
no inaccuracies, except some evident slips of the pencil. She uses
words precisely and makes easy, fluent sentences.
TO MR. MICHAEL ANAGNOS Tuscumbia, Ala., May 18, 1889.
My Dear Mr. Anagnos:—You cannot imagine how delighted I was to
receive a letter from you last evening. I am very sorry that you are
going so far away. We shall miss you very, very much. I would love to
visit many beautiful cities with you. When I was in Huntsville I saw
Dr. Bryson, and he told me that he had been to Rome and Athens and
Paris and London. He had climbed the high mountains in Switzerland and
visited beautiful churches in Italy and France, and he saw a great
many ancient castles. I hope you will please write to me from all the
cities you visit. When you go to Holland please give my love to the
lovely princess Wilhelmina. She is a dear little girl, and when she is
old enough she will be the queen of Holland. If you go to Roumania
please ask the good queen Elizabeth about her little invalid brother,
and tell her that I am very sorry that her darling little girl died.
I should like to send a kiss to Vittorio, the little prince of Naples,
but teacher says she is afraid you will not remember so many messages.
When I am thirteen years old I shall visit them all myself.
I thank you very much for the beautiful story about Lord
Fauntleroy, and so does teacher.
I am so glad that Eva is coming to stay with me this summer. We
will have fine times together. Give Howard my love, and tell him to
answer my letter. Thursday we had a picnic. It was very pleasant out
in the shady woods, and we all enjoyed the picnic very much.
Mildred is out in the yard playing, and mother is picking the
delicious strawberries. Father and Uncle Frank are down town. Simpson
is coming home soon. Mildred and I had our pictures taken while we
were in Huntsville. I will send you one.
The roses have been beautiful. Mother has a great many fine roses.
The La France and the Lamarque are the most fragrant; but the Marechal
Neil, Solfaterre, Jacqueminot, Nipheots, Etoile de Lyon, Papa Gontier,
Gabrielle Drevet and the Perle des Jardines are all lovely roses.
Please give the little boys and girls my love. I think of them
every day and I love them dearly in my heart. When you come home from
Europe I hope you will be all well and very happy to get home again.
Do not forget to give my love to Miss Calliope Kehayia and Mr. Francis
Demetrios Kalopothakes. Lovingly, your little friend, HELEN ADAMS
KELLER.
Like a good many of Helen Keller's early letters, this to her
French teacher is her re-phrasing of a story. It shows how much the
gift of writing is, in the early stages of its development, the gift
of mimicry.
TO MISS FANNIE S. MARRETT Tuscumbia, Ala., May 17, 1889.
My Dear Miss Marrett—I am thinking about a dear little girl, who
wept very hard. She wept because her brother teased her very much. I
will tell you what he did, and I think you will feel very sorry for
the little child. She had a most beautiful doll given her. Oh, it was
a lovely and delicate doll! but the little girl's brother, a tall lad,
had taken the doll, and set it up in a high tree in the garden, and
had run away. The little girl could not reach the doll, and could not
help it down, and therefore she cried. The doll cried, too, and
stretched out its arms from among the green branches, and looked
distressed. Soon the dismal night would come—and was the doll to sit
up in the tree all night, and by herself? The little girl could not
endure that thought. "I will stay with you," said she to the doll,
although she was not at all courageous. Already she began to see quite
plainly the little elves in their tall pointed hats, dancing down the
dusky alleys, and peeping from between the bushes, and they seemed to
come nearer and nearer; and she stretched her hands up towards the
tree in which the doll sat and they laughed, and pointed their fingers
at her. How terrified was the little girl; but if one has not done
anything wrong, these strange little elves cannot harm one. "Have I
done anything wrong? Ah, yes!" said the little girl. "I have laughed
at the poor duck, with the red rag tied round its leg. It hobbled, and
that made me laugh; but it is wrong to laugh at the poor animals!"
Is it not a pitiful story? I hope the father punished the naughty
little boy. Shall you be very glad to see my teacher next Thursday?
She is going home to rest, but she will come back to me next autumn.
Lovingly, your little friend, HELEN ADAMS KELLER.
TO MISS MARY E. RILEY Tuscumbia, Ala., May 27, 1889.
My Dear Miss Riley:—I wish you were here in the warm, sunny south
today. Little sister and I would take you out into the garden, and
pick the delicious raspberries and a few strawberries for you. How
would you like that? The strawberries are nearly all gone. In the
evening, when it is cool and pleasant, we would walk in the yard, and
catch the grasshoppers and butterflies. We would talk about the birds
and flowers and grass and Jumbo and Pearl. If you liked, we would run
and jump and hop and dance, and be very happy. I think you would enjoy
hearing the mocking-birds sing. One sits on the twig of a tree, just
beneath our window, and he fills the air with his glad songs. But I am
afraid you cannot come to Tuscumbia; so I will write to you, and send
you a sweet kiss and my love. How is Dick? Daisy is happy, but she
would be happy ever if she had a little mate. My little children are
all well except Nancy, and she is quite feeble. My grandmother and
aunt Corinne are here. Grandmother is going to make me two new
dresses. Give my love to all the little girls, and tell them that
Helen loves them very, very much. Eva sends love to all.
With much love and many kisses, from your affectionate little
friend, HELEN ADAMS KELLER.
During the summer Miss Sullivan was away from Helen for three
months and a half, the first separation of teacher and pupil. Only
once afterward in fifteen years was their constant companionship
broken for more than a few days at a time.
TO MISS ANNE MANSFIELD SULLIVAN Tuscumbia, Ala., August 7, 1889.
Dearest Teacher—I am very glad to write to you this evening, for
I have been thinking much about you all day. I am sitting on the
piazza, and my little white pigeon is perched on the back of my
chair, watching me write. Her little brown mate has flown away with
the other birds; but Annie is not sad, for she likes to stay with me.
Fauntleroy is asleep upstairs, and Nancy is putting Lucy to bed.
Perhaps the mocking bird is singing them to sleep. All the beautiful
flowers are in bloom now. The air is sweet with the perfume of
jasmines, heliotropes and roses. It is getting warm here now, so
father is going to take us to the Quarry on the 20th of August. I
think we shall have a beautiful time out in the cool, pleasant woods.
I will write and tell you all the pleasant things we do. I am so glad
that Lester and Henry are good little infants. Give them many sweet
kisses for me.
What was the name of the little boy who fell in love with the
beautiful star? Eva has been telling me a story about a lovely little
girl named Heidi. Will you please send it to me? I shall be delighted
to have a typewriter.
Little Arthur is growing very fast. He has on short dresses now.
Cousin Leila thinks he will walk in a little while. Then I will take
his soft chubby hand in mine, and go out in the bright sunshine with
him. He will pull the largest roses, and chase the gayest butterflies.
I will take very good care of him, and not let him fall and hurt
himself. Father and some other gentlemen went hunting yesterday.
Father killed thirty-eight birds. We had some of them for supper, and
they were very nice. Last Monday Simpson shot a pretty crane. The
crane is a large and strong bird. His wings are as long as my arm, and
his bill is as long as my foot. He eats little fishes, and other small
animals. Father says he can fly nearly all day without stopping.
Mildred is the dearest and sweetest little maiden in the world.
She is very roguish, too. Sometimes, when mother does not know it,
she goes out into the vineyard, and gets her apron full of delicious
grapes. I think she would like to put her two soft arms around your
neck and hug you.
Sunday I went to church. I love to go to church, because I like to
see my friends.
A gentleman gave me a beautiful card. It was a picture of a mill,
near a beautiful brook. There was a boat floating on the water, and
the fragrant lilies were growing all around the boat. Not far from the
mill there was an old house, with many trees growing close to it.
There were eight pigeons on the roof of the house, and a great dog on
the step. Pearl is a very proud mother-dog now. She has eight puppies,
and she thinks there never were such fine puppies as hers.
I read in my books every day. I love them very, very, very much. I
do want you to come back to me soon. I miss you so very, very much. I
cannot know about many things, when my dear teacher is not here. I
send you five thousand kisses, and more love than I can tell. I send
Mrs. H. much love and a kiss. From your affectionate little pupil,
HELEN A. KELLER.
In the fall Helen and Miss Sullivan returned to Perkins
Institution at South Boston.
TO MISS MILDRED KELLER South Boston, Oct. 24, 1889.
My Precious Little Sister:—Good morning. I am going to send you a
birthday gift with this letter. I hope it will please you very much,
because it makes me happy to send it. The dress is blue like your
eyes, and candy is sweet just like your dear little self. I think
mother will be glad to make the dress for you, and when you wear it
you will look as pretty as a rose. The picture-book will tell you all
about many strange and wild animals. You must not be afraid of them.
They cannot come out of the picture to harm you.
I go to school every day, and I learn many new things. At eight I
study arithmetic. I like that. At nine I go to the gymnasium with the
little girls and we have great fun. I wish you could be here to play
three little squirrels, and two gentle doves, and to make a pretty
nest for a dear little robin. The mocking bird does not live in the
cold north. At ten I study about the earth on which we all live. At
eleven I talk with teacher and at twelve I study zoology. I do not
know what I shall do in the afternoon yet.
Now, my darling little Mildred, good bye. Give father and mother a
great deal of love and many hugs and kisses for me. Teacher sends her
love too. From your loving sister,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MR. WILLIAM WADE South Boston, Mass., Nov. 20, 1889.
My Dear Mr. Wade:—I have just received a letter from my mother,
telling me that the beautiful mastiff puppy you sent me had arrived
in Tuscumbia safely. Thank you very much for the nice gift. I am very
sorry that I was not at home to welcome her; but my mother and my baby
sister will be very kind to her while her mistress is away. I hope she
is not lonely and unhappy. I think puppies can feel very home-sick, as
well as little girls. I should like to call her Lioness, for your dog.
May I? I hope she will be very faithful,—and brave, too.
I am studying in Boston, with my dear teacher. I learn a great
many new and wonderful things. I study about the earth, and the
animals, and I like arithmetic exceedingly. I learn many new words,
too. EXCEEDINGLY is one that I learned yesterday. When I see Lioness I
will tell her many things which will surprise her greatly. I think she
will laugh when I tell her she is a vertebrate, a mammal, a quadruped;
and I shall be very sorry to tell her that she belongs to the order
Carnivora. I study French, too. When I talk French to Lioness I will
call her mon beau chien. Please tell Lion that I will take good care
of Lioness. I shall be happy to have a letter from you when you like
to write to me. From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER. P.S. I am studying at the Institution for the
Blind. H. A. K.
This letter is indorsed in Whittier's hand, "Helen A. Keller—deaf
dumb and blind—aged nine years." "Browns" is a lapse of the pencil
for "brown eyes."
TO JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER Inst. for the Blind, So. Boston, Mass.,
Nov. 27, 1889.
Dear Poet, I think you will be surprised to receive a letter from
a little girl whom you do not know, but I thought you would be glad to
hear that your beautiful poems make me very happy. Yesterday I read
"In School Days" and "My Playmate," and I enjoyed them greatly. I was
very sorry that the poor little girl with the browns and the "tangled
golden curls" died. It is very pleasant to live here in our beautiful
world. I cannot see the lovely things with my eyes, but my mind can
see them all, and so I am joyful all the day long.
When I walk out in my garden I cannot see the beautiful flowers
but I know that they are all around me; for is not the air sweet with
their fragrance? I know too that the tiny lily-bells are whispering
pretty secrets to their companions else they would not look so happy.
I love you very dearly, because you have taught me so many lovely
things about flowers, and birds, and people. Now I must say, good-bye.
I hope [you] will enjoy the Thanksgiving very much.
From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER. To Mr. John Greenleaf Whittier.
Whittier's reply, to which there is a reference in the following
letter, has been lost.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER South Boston, Mass., Dec. 3, 1889.
My Dear Mother:—Your little daughter is very happy to write to
you this beautiful morning. It is cold and rainy here to-day.
Yesterday the Countess of Meath came again to see me. She gave me a
beautiful bunch of violets. Her little girls are named Violet and May.
The Earl said he should be delighted to visit Tuscumbia the next time
he comes to America. Lady Meath said she would like to see your
flowers, and hear the mocking-birds sing. When I visit England they
want me to come to see them, and stay a few weeks. They will take me
to see the Queen.
I had a lovely letter from the poet Whittier. He loves me. Mr.
Wade wants teacher and me to come and see him next spring. May we go?
He said you must feed Lioness from your hand, because she will be more
gentle if she does not eat with other dogs.
Mr. Wilson came to call on us one Thursday. I was delighted to
receive the flowers from home. They came while we were eating
breakfast, and my friends enjoyed them with me. We had a very nice
dinner on Thanksgiving day,—turkey and plum-pudding. Last week I
visited a beautiful art store. I saw a great many statues, and the
gentleman gave me an angel.
Sunday I went to church on board a great warship. After the
services were over the soldier-sailors showed us around. There were
four hundred and sixty sailors. They were very kind to me. One carried
me in his arms so that my feet would not touch the water. They wore
blue uniforms and queer little caps. There was a terrible fire
Thursday. Many stores were burned, and four men were killed. I am very
sorry for them. Tell father, please, to write to me. How is dear
little sister? Give her many kisses for me. Now I must close. With
much love, from your darling child,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER So. Boston, Mass., Dec. 24, 1889
My dear Mother, Yesterday I sent you a little Christmas box. I am
very sorry that I could not send it before so that you would receive
it tomorrow, but I could not finish the watch-case any sooner. I made
all of the gifts myself, excepting father's handkerchief. I wish I
could have made father a gift too, but I did not have sufficient time.
I hope you will like your watch-case, for it made me very happy to
make it for you. You must keep your lovely new montre in it. If it is
too warm in Tuscumbia for little sister to wear her pretty mittens,
she can keep them because her sister made them for her. I imagine she
will have fun with the little toy man. Tell her to shake him, and then
he will blow his trumpet. I thank my dear kind father for sending me
some money, to buy gifts for my friends. I love to make everybody
happy. I should like to be at home on Christmas day. We would be very
happy together. I think of my beautiful home every day. Please do not
forget to send me some pretty presents to hang on my tree. I am going
to have a Christmas tree, in the parlor and teacher will hang all of
my gifts upon it. It will be a funny tree. All of the girls have gone
home to spend Christmas. Teacher and I are the only babies left for
Mrs. Hopkins to care for. Teacher has been sick in bed for many days.
Her throat was very sore and the doctor thought she would have to go
away to the hospital, but she is better now. I have not been sick at
all. The little girls are well too. Friday I am going to spend the day
with my little friends Carrie, Ethel, Frank and Helen Freeman. We will
have great fun I am sure.
Mr. and Miss Endicott came to see me, and I went to ride in the
carriage. They are going to give me a lovely present, but I cannot
guess what it will be. Sammy has a dear new brother. He is very soft
and delicate yet. Mr. Anagnos is in Athens now. He is delighted
because I am here. Now I must say, good-bye. I hope I have written my
letter nicely, but it is very difficult to write on this paper and
teacher is not here to give me better. Give many kisses to little
sister and much love to all. Lovingly HELEN.
TO DR. EDWARD EVERETT HALE South Boston, Jan. 8, 1890.
My dear Mr. Hale: The beautiful shells came last night. I thank
you very much for them. I shall always keep them, and it will make me
very happy to think that you found them, on that far away island, from
which Columbus sailed to discover our dear country. When I am eleven
years old it will be four hundred years since he started with the
three small ships to cross the great strange ocean. He was very
brave. The little girls were delighted to see the lovely shells. I
told them all I knew about them. Are you very glad that you could make
so many happy? I am. I should be very happy to come and teach you the
Braille sometime, if you have time to learn, but I am afraid you are
too busy. A few days ago I received a little box of English violets
from Lady Meath. The flowers were wilted, but the kind thought which
came with them was as sweet and as fresh as newly pulled violets.
With loving greeting to the little cousins, and Mrs. Hale and a
sweet kiss for yourself, From your little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
This, the first of Helen's letters to Dr. Holmes, written soon
after a visit to him, he published in "Over the Teacups." [Atlantic
Monthly, May, 1890]
TO DR. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES South Boston, Mass., March 1, 1890.
Dear, Kind Poet:—I have thought of you many times since that
bright Sunday when I bade you good-bye; and I am going to write you a
letter, because I love you. I am sorry that you have no little
children to play with you sometimes; but I think you are very happy
with your books, and your many, many friends. On Washington's birthday
a great many people came here to see the blind children; and I read
for them from your poems, and showed them some beautiful shells, which
came from a little island near Palos.
I am reading a very sad story, called "Little Jakey." Jakey was
the sweetest little fellow you can imagine, but he was poor and
blind. I used to think—when I was small, and before I could
read—that everybody was always happy, and at first it made me very
sad to know about pain and great sorrow; but now I know that we could
never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the
world.
I am studying about insects in zoology, and I have learned many
things about butterflies. They do not make honey for us, like the
bees, but many of them are as beautiful as the flowers they light
upon, and they always delight the hearts of little children. They
live a gay life, flitting from flower to flower, sipping the drops of
honeydew, without a thought for the morrow. They are just like little
boys and girls when they forget books and studies, and run away to the
woods and the fields, to gather wild flowers, or wade in the ponds for
fragrant lilies, happy in the bright sunshine.
If my little sister comes to Boston next June, will you let me
bring her to see you? She is a lovely baby, and I am sure you will
love her.
Now I must tell my gentle poet good-bye, for I have a letter to
write home before I go to bed. From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MISS SARAH FULLER [Miss Fuller gave Helen Keller her first
lesson in articulation. See Chapter IV, Speech.] South Boston, Mass.,
April 3, 1890.
My dear Miss Fuller, My heart is full of joy this beautiful
morning, because I have learned to speak many new words, and I can
make a few sentences. Last evening I went out in the yard and spoke to
the moon. I said, "O! moon come to me!" Do you think the lovely moon
was glad that I could speak to her? How glad my mother will be. I can
hardly wait for June to come I am so eager to speak to her and to my
precious little sister. Mildred could not understand me when I spelled
with my fingers, but now she will sit in my lap and I will tell her
many things to please her, and we shall be so happy together. Are you
very, very happy because you can make so many people happy? I think
you are very kind and patient, and I love you very dearly. My teacher
told me Tuesday that you wanted to know how I came to wish to talk
with my mouth. I will tell you all about it, for I remember my
thoughts perfectly. When I was a very little child I used to sit in my
mother's lap all the time, because I was very timid, and did not like
to be left by myself. And I would keep my little hand on her face all
the while, because it amused me to feel her face and lips move when
she talked with people. I did not know then what she was doing, for I
was quite ignorant of all things. Then when I was older I learned to
play with my nurse and the little negro children and I noticed that
they kept moving their lips just like my mother, so I moved mine too,
but sometimes it made me angry and I would hold my playmates' mouths
very hard. I did not know then that it was very naughty to do so.
After a long time my dear teacher came to me, and taught me to
communicate with my fingers and I was satisfied and happy. But when I
came to school in Boston I met some deaf people who talked with their
mouths like all other people, and one day a lady who had been to
Norway came to see me, and told me of a blind and deaf girl [Ragnhild
Kaata] she had seen in that far away land who had been taught to speak
and understand others when they spoke to her. This good and happy news
delighted me exceedingly, for then I was sure that I should learn
also. I tried to make sounds like my little playmates, but teacher
told me that the voice was very delicate and sensitive and that it
would injure it to make incorrect sounds, and promised to take me to
see a kind and wise lady who would teach me rightly. That lady was
yourself. Now I am as happy as the little birds, because I can speak
and perhaps I shall sing too. All of my friends will be so surprised
and glad. Your loving little pupil,
HELEN A. KELLER.
When the Perkins Institution closed for the summer, Helen and Miss
Sullivan went to Tuscumbia. This was the first home-going after she
had learned to "talk with her mouth."
TO REV. PHILLIPS BROOKS Tuscumbia, Alabama, July 14, 1890.
My dear Mr. Brooks, I am very glad to write to you this beautiful
day because you are my kind friend and I love you, and because I wish
to know many things. I have been at home three weeks, and Oh, how
happy I have been with dear mother and father and precious little
sister. I was very, very sad to part with all of my friends in Boston,
but I was so eager to see my baby sister I could hardly wait for the
train to take me home. But I tried very hard to be patient for
teacher's sake. Mildred has grown much taller and stronger than she
was when I went to Boston, and she is the sweetest and dearest little
child in the world. My parents were delighted to hear me speak, and I
was overjoyed to give them such a happy surprise. I think it is so
pleasant to make everybody happy. Why does the dear Father in heaven
think it best for us to have very great sorrow sometimes? I am always
happy and so was Little Lord Fauntleroy, but dear Little Jakey's life
was full of sadness. God did not put the light in Jakey's eyes and he
was blind, and his father was not gentle and loving. Do you think
poor Jakey loved his Father in heaven more because his other father
was unkind to him? How did God tell people that his home was in
heaven? When people do very wrong and hurt animals and treat children
unkindly God is grieved, but what will he do to them to teach them to
be pitiful and loving? I think he will tell them how dearly He loves
them and that He wants them to be good and happy, and they will not
wish to grieve their father who loves them so much, and they will want
to please him in everything they do, so they will love each other and
do good to everyone, and be kind to animals.
Please tell me something that you know about God. It makes me
happy to know much about my loving Father, who is good and wise. I
hope you will write to your little friend when you have time. I should
like very much to see you to-day Is the sun very hot in Boston now?
this afternoon if it is cool enough I shall take Mildred for a ride on
my donkey. Mr. Wade sent Neddy to me, and he is the prettiest donkey
you can imagine. My great dog Lioness goes with us when we ride to
protect us. Simpson, that is my brother, brought me some beautiful
pond lilies yesterday—he is a very brother to me.
Teacher sends you her kind remembrances, and father and mother
also send their regards. From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
DR. BROOKS'S REPLY London, August 3, 1890.
My Dear Helen—I was very glad indeed to get your letter. It has
followed me across the ocean and found me in this magnificent great
city which I should like to tell you all about if I could take time
for it and make my letter long enough. Some time when you come and see
me in my study in Boston I shall be glad to talk to you about it all
if you care to hear.
But now I want to tell you how glad I am that you are so happy and
enjoying your home so very much. I can almost think I see you with
your father and mother and little sister, with all the brightness of
the beautiful country about you, and it makes me very glad to know how
glad you are.
I am glad also to know, from the questions which you ask me, what
you are thinking about. I do not see how we can help thinking about
God when He is so good to us all the time. Let me tell you how it
seems to me that we come to know about our heavenly Father. It is from
the power of love which is in our own hearts. Love is at the soul of
everything. Whatever has not the power of loving must have a very
dreary life indeed. We like to think that the sunshine and the winds
and the trees are able to love in some way of their own, for it would
make us know that they were happy if we knew that they could love. And
so God who is the greatest and happiest of all beings is the most
loving too. All the love that is in our hearts comes from him, as all
the light which is in the flowers comes from the sun. And the more we
love the more near we are to God and His Love.
I told you that I was very happy because of your happiness. Indeed
I am. So are your Father and your Mother and your Teacher and all your
friends. But do you not think that God is happy too because you are
happy? I am sure He is. And He is happier than any of us because He is
greater than any of us, and also because He not merely SEES your
happiness as we do, but He also MADE it. He gives it to you as the sun
gives light and color to the rose. And we are always most glad of what
we not merely see our friends enjoy, but of what we give them to
enjoy. Are we not?
But God does not only want us to be HAPPY; He wants us to be good.
He wants that most of all. He knows that we can be really happy only
when we are good. A great deal of the trouble that is in the world is
medicine which is very bad to take, but which it is good to take
because it makes us better. We see how good people may be in great
trouble when we think of Jesus who was the greatest sufferer that ever
lived and yet was the best Being and so, I am sure, the happiest Being
that the world has ever seen.
I love to tell you about God. But He will tell you Himself by the
love which He will put into your heart if you ask Him. And Jesus, who
is His Son, but is nearer to Him than all of us His other Children,
came into the world on purpose to tell us all about our Father's Love.
If you read His words, you will see how full His heart is of the love
of God. "We KNOW that He loves us," He says. And so He loved men
Himself and though they were very cruel to Him and at last killed Him,
He was willing to die for them because He loved them so. And, Helen,
He loves men still, and He loves us, and He tells us that we may love
Him.
And so love is everything. And if anybody asks you, or if you ask
yourself what God is, answer, "God is Love." That is the beautiful
answer which the Bible gives.
All this is what you are to think of and to understand more and
more as you grow older. Think of it now, and let it make every
blessing brighter because your dear Father sends it to you.
You will come back to Boston I hope soon after I do. I shall be
there by the middle of September. I shall want you to tell me all
about everything, and not forget the Donkey.
I send my kind remembrance to your father and mother, and to your
teacher. I wish I could see your little sister.
Good Bye, dear Helen. Do write to me soon again, directing your
letter to Boston. Your affectionate friend PHILLIPS BROOKS.
DR. HOLMES'S REPLY To a letter which has been lost.
Beverly Farms, Mass., August 1, 1890. My Dear Little Friend Helen:
I received your welcome letter several days ago, but I have so
much writing to do that I am apt to make my letters wait a good while
before they get answered.
It gratifies me very much to find that you remember me so kindly.
Your letter is charming, and I am greatly pleased with it. I rejoice
to know that you are well and happy. I am very much delighted to hear
of your new acquisition—that you "talk with your mouth" as well as
with your fingers. What a curious thing SPEECH is! The tongue is so
serviceable a member (taking all sorts of shapes, just as is
wanted),—the teeth, the lips, the roof of the mouth, all ready to
help, and so heap up the sound of the voice into the solid bits which
we call consonants, and make room for the curiously shaped breathings
which we call vowels! You have studied all this, I don't doubt, since
you have practised vocal speaking.
I am surprised at the mastery of language which your letter shows.
It almost makes me think the world would get along as well without
seeing and hearing as with them. Perhaps people would be better in a
great many ways, for they could not fight as they do now. Just think
of an army of blind people, with guns and cannon! Think of the poor
drummers! Of what use would they and their drumsticks be? You are
spared the pain of many sights and sounds, which you are only too
happy in escaping. Then think how much kindness you are sure of as
long as you live. Everybody will feel an interest in dear little
Helen; everybody will want to do something for her; and, if she
becomes an ancient, gray-haired woman, she is still sure of being
thoughtfully cared for.
Your parents and friends must take great satisfaction in your
progress. It does great credit, not only to you, but to your
instructors, who have so broken down the walls that seemed to shut
you in that now your outlook seems more bright and cheerful than that
of many seeing and hearing children.
Good-bye, dear little Helen! With every kind wish from your
friend, OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.
This letter was written to some gentlemen in Gardiner, Maine, who
named a lumber vessel after her.
TO MESSRS. BRADSTREET Tuscumbia, Ala., July 14, 1890.
My Dear, Kind Friends:—I thank you very, very much for naming
your beautiful new ship for me. It makes me very happy to know that I
have kind and loving friends in the far-away State of Maine. I did not
imagine, when I studied about the forests of Maine, that a strong and
beautiful ship would go sailing all over the world, carrying wood from
those rich forests, to build pleasant homes and schools and churches
in distant countries. I hope the great ocean will love the new Helen,
and let her sail over its blue waves peacefully. Please tell the brave
sailors, who have charge of the HELEN KELLER, that little Helen who
stays at home will often think of them with loving thoughts. I hope I
shall see you and my beautiful namesake some time.
With much love, from your little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER. To the Messrs. Bradstreet.
Helen and Miss Sullivan returned to the Perkins Institution early
in November.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER South Boston, Nov. 10, 1890.
My Dearest Mother:—My heart has been full of thoughts of you and
my beautiful home ever since we parted so sadly on Wednesday night.
How I wish I could see you this lovely morning, and tell you all that
has happened since I left home! And my darling little sister, how I
wish I could give her a hundred kisses! And my dear father, how he
would like to hear about our journey! But I cannot see you and talk to
you, so I will write and tell you all that I can think of.
We did not reach Boston until Saturday morning. I am sorry to say
that our train was delayed in several places, which made us late in
reaching New York. When we got to Jersey City at six o'clock Friday
evening we were obliged to cross the Harlem River in a ferry-boat. We
found the boat and the transfer carriage with much less difficulty
than teacher expected. When we arrived at the station they told us
that the train did not leave for Boston until eleven o'clock, but that
we could take the sleeper at nine, which we did. We went to bed and
slept until morning. When we awoke we were in Boston. I was delighted
to get there, though I was much disappointed because we did not arrive
on Mr. Anagnos' birthday. We surprised our dear friends, however, for
they did not expect us Saturday; but when the bell rung Miss Marrett
guessed who was at the door, and Mrs. Hopkins jumped up from the
breakfast table and ran to the door to meet us; she was indeed much
astonished to see us. After we had had some breakfast we went up to
see Mr. Anagnos. I was overjoyed to see my dearest and kindest friend
once more. He gave me a beautiful watch. I have it pinned to my dress.
I tell everybody the time when they ask me. I have only seen Mr.
Anagnos twice. I have many questions to ask him about the countries he
has been travelling in. But I suppose he is very busy now.
The hills in Virginia were very lovely. Jack Frost had dressed
them in gold and crimson. The view was most charmingly picturesque.
Pennsylvania is a very beautiful State. The grass was as green as
though it was springtime, and the golden ears of corn gathered
together in heaps in the great fields looked very pretty. In
Harrisburg we saw a donkey like Neddy. How I wish I could see my own
donkey and my dear Lioness! Do they miss their mistress very much?
Tell Mildred she must be kind to them for my sake.
Our room is pleasant and comfortable.
My typewriter was much injured coming. The case was broken and the
keys are nearly all out. Teacher is going to see if it can be fixed.
There are many new books in the library. What a nice time I shall
have reading them! I have already read Sara Crewe. It is a very
pretty story, and I will tell it to you some time. Now, sweet mother,
your little girl must say good-bye.
With much love to father, Mildred, you and all the dear friends,
lovingly your little daughter,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER South Boston, Dec. 17, 1890.
Dear Kind Poet, This is your birthday; that was the first thought
which came into my mind when I awoke this morning; and it made me glad
to think I could write you a letter and tell you how much your little
friends love their sweet poet and his birthday. This evening they are
going to entertain their friends with readings from your poems and
music. I hope the swift winged messengers of love will be here to
carry some of the sweet melody to you, in your little study by the
Merrimac. At first I was very sorry when I found that the sun had
hidden his shining face behind dull clouds, but afterwards I thought
why he did it, and then I was happy. The sun knows that you like to
see the world covered with beautiful white snow and so he kept back
all his brightness, and let the little crystals form in the sky. When
they are ready, they will softly fall and tenderly cover every object.
Then the sun will appear in all his radiance and fill the world with
light. If I were with you to-day I would give you eighty-three kisses,
one for each year you have lived. Eighty-three years seems very long
to me. Does it seem long to you? I wonder how many years there will be
in eternity. I am afraid I cannot think about so much time. I
received the letter which you wrote to me last summer, and I thank
you for it. I am staying in Boston now at the Institution for the
Blind, but I have not commenced my studies yet, because my dearest
friend, Mr. Anagnos wants me to rest and play a great deal.
Teacher is well and sends her kind remembrance to you. The happy
Christmas time is almost here! I can hardly wait for the fun to
begin! I hope your Christmas Day will be a very happy one and that
the New Year will be full of brightness and joy for you and every one.
From your little friend HELEN A. KELLER.
WHITTIER'S REPLY
My Dear Young Friend—I was very glad to have such a pleasant
letter on my birthday. I had two or three hundred others and thine
was one of the most welcome of all. I must tell thee about how the day
passed at Oak Knoll. Of course the sun did not shine, but we had great
open wood fires in the rooms, which were all very sweet with roses and
other flowers, which were sent to me from distant friends; and fruits
of all kinds from California and other places. Some relatives and dear
old friends were with me through the day. I do not wonder thee thinks
eighty three years a long time, but to me it seems but a very little
while since I was a boy no older than thee, playing on the old farm at
Haverhill. I thank thee for all thy good wishes, and wish thee as
many. I am glad thee is at the Institution; it is an excellent place.
Give my best regards to Miss Sullivan, and with a great deal of love I
am Thy old friend, JOHN G. WHITTIER.
Tommy Stringer, who appears in several of the following letters,
became blind and deaf when he was four years old. His mother was dead
and his father was too poor to take care of him. For a while he was
kept in the general hospital at Allegheny. From here he was to be sent
to an almshouse, for at that time there was no other place for him in
Pennsylvania. Helen heard of him through Mr. J. G. Brown of
Pittsburgh, who wrote her that he had failed to secure a tutor for
Tommy. She wanted him brought to Boston, and when she was told that
money would be needed to get him a teacher, she answered, "We will
raise it." She began to solicit contributions from her friends, and
saved her pennies.
Dr. Alexander Graham Bell advised Tommy's friends to send him to
Boston, and the trustees of the Perkins Institution agreed to admit
him to the kindergarten for the blind.
Meanwhile opportunity came to Helen to make a considerable
contribution to Tommy's education. The winter before, her dog Lioness
had been killed, and friends set to work to raise money to buy Helen
another dog. Helen asked that the contributions, which people were
sending from all over America and England, be devoted to Tommy's
education. Turned to this new use, the fund grew fast, and Tommy was
provided for. He was admitted to the kindergarten on the sixth of
April.
Miss Keller wrote lately, "I shall never forget the pennies sent
by many a poor child who could ill spare them, 'for little Tommy,' or
the swift sympathy with which people from far and near, whom I had
never seen, responded to the dumb cry of a little captive soul for
aid."
TO MR. GEORGE R. KREHL Institution for the Blind, South Boston,
Mass., March 20, 1891.
My Dear Friend, Mr. Krehl:—I have just heard, through Mr. Wade,
of your kind offer to buy me a gentle dog, and I want to thank you
for the kind thought. It makes me very happy indeed to know that I
have such dear friends in other lands. It makes me think that all
people are good and loving. I have read that the English and Americans
are cousins; but I am sure it would be much truer to say that we are
brothers and sisters. My friends have told me about your great and
magnificent city, and I have read a great deal that wise Englishmen
have written. I have begun to read "Enoch Arden," and I know several
of the great poet's poems by heart. I am eager to cross the ocean, for
I want to see my English friends and their good and wise queen. Once
the Earl of Meath came to see me, and he told me that the queen was
much beloved by her people, because of her gentleness and wisdom. Some
day you will be surprised to see a little strange girl coming into
your office; but when you know it is the little girl who loves dogs
and all other animals, you will laugh, and I hope you will give her a
kiss, just as Mr. Wade does. He has another dog for me, and he thinks
she will be as brave and faithful as my beautiful Lioness. And now I
want to tell you what the dog lovers in America are going to do. They
are going to send me some money for a poor little deaf and dumb and
blind child. His name is Tommy, and he is five years old. His parents
are too poor to pay to have the little fellow sent to school; so,
instead of giving me a dog, the gentlemen are going to help make
Tommy's life as bright and joyous as mine. Is it not a beautiful plan?
Education will bring light and music into Tommy's soul, and then he
cannot help being happy. From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO DR. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES [South Boston, Mass., April, 1891.]
Dear Dr. Holmes:—Your beautiful words about spring have been
making music in my heart, these bright April days. I love every word
of "Spring" and "Spring Has Come." I think you will be glad to hear
that these poems have taught me to enjoy and love the beautiful
springtime, even though I cannot see the fair, frail blossoms which
proclaim its approach, or hear the joyous warbling of the home-coming
birds. But when I read "Spring Has Come," lo! I am not blind any
longer, for I see with your eyes and hear with your ears. Sweet Mother
Nature can have no secrets from me when my poet is near. I have chosen
this paper because I want the spray of violets in the corner to tell
you of my grateful love. I want you to see baby Tom, the little blind
and deaf and dumb child who has just come to our pretty garden. He is
poor and helpless and lonely now, but before another April education
will have brought light and gladness into Tommy's life. If you do
come, you will want to ask the kind people of Boston to help brighten
Tommy's whole life. Your loving friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO SIR JOHN EVERETT MILLAIS Perkins Institution for the Blind,
South Boston, Mass., April 30, 1891.
My Dear Mr. Millais:—Your little American sister is going to
write you a letter, because she wants you to know how pleased she was
to hear you were interested in our poor little Tommy, and had sent
some money to help educate him. It is very beautiful to think that
people far away in England feel sorry for a little helpless child in
America. I used to think, when I read in my books about your great
city, that when I visited it the people would be strangers to me, but
now I feel differently. It seems to me that all people who have
loving, pitying hearts, are not strangers to each other. I can hardly
wait patiently for the time to come when I shall see my dear English
friends, and their beautiful island home. My favourite poet has
written some lines about England which I love very much. I think you
will like them too, so I will try to write them for you.
"Hugged in the clinging billow's clasp, From seaweed fringe to
mountain heather, The British oak with rooted grasp Her slender
handful holds together, With cliffs of white and bowers of green, And
ocean narrowing to caress her, And hills and threaded streams between,
Our little mother isle, God bless her!"
You will be glad to hear that Tommy has a kind lady to teach him,
and that he is a pretty, active little fellow. He loves to climb much
better than to spell, but that is because he does not know yet what a
wonderful thing language is. He cannot imagine how very, very happy he
will be when he can tell us his thoughts, and we can tell him how we
have loved him so long.
Tomorrow April will hide her tears and blushes beneath the flowers
of lovely May. I wonder if the May-days in England are as beautiful as
they are here.
Now I must say good-bye. Please think of me always as your loving
little sister,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO REV. PHILLIPS BROOKS So. Boston, May 1, 1891.
My Dear Mr. Brooks: Helen sends you a loving greeting this bright
May-day. My teacher has just told me that you have been made a bishop,
and that your friends everywhere are rejoicing because one whom they
love has been greatly honored. I do not understand very well what a
bishop's work is, but I am sure it must be good and helpful, and I am
glad that my dear friend is brave, and wise, and loving enough to do
it. It is very beautiful to think that you can tell so many people of
the heavenly Father's tender love for all His children even when they
are not gentle and noble as He wishes them to be. I hope the glad news
which you will tell them will make their hearts beat fast with joy and
love. I hope too, that Bishop Brooks' whole life will be as rich in
happiness as the month of May is full of blossoms and singing birds.
From your loving little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
Before a teacher was found for Tommy and while he was still in the
care of Helen and Miss Sullivan, a reception was held for him at the
kindergarten. At Helen's request Bishop Brooks made an address. Helen
wrote letters to the newspapers which brought many generous replies.
All of these she answered herself, and she made public acknowledgment
in letters to the newspapers. This letter is to the editor of the
Boston Herald, enclosing a complete list of the subscribers. The
contributions amounted to more than sixteen hundred dollars.
TO MR. JOHN H. HOLMES South Boston, May 13, 1891. Editor of the
Boston Herald: My Dear Mr. Holmes:—Will you kindly print in the
Herald, the enclosed list? I think the readers of your paper will be
glad to know that so much has been done for dear little Tommy, and
that they will all wish to share in the pleasure of helping him. He is
very happy indeed at the kindergarten, and is learning something
every day. He has found out that doors have locks, and that little
sticks and bits of paper can be got into the key-hole quite easily;
but he does not seem very eager to get them out after they are in. He
loves to climb the bed-posts and unscrew the steam valves much better
than to spell, but that is because he does not understand that words
would help him to make new and interesting discoveries. I hope that
good people will continue to work for Tommy until his fund is
completed, and education has brought light and music into his little
life. From your little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO DR. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES South Boston, May 27, 1891. Dear,
Gentle Poet:—I fear that you will think Helen a very troublesome
little girl if she writes to you too often; but how is she to help
sending you loving and grateful messages, when you do so much to make
her glad? I cannot begin to tell you how delighted I was when Mr.
Anagnos told me that you had sent him some money to help educate "Baby
Tom." Then I knew that you had not forgotten the dear little child,
for the gift brought with it the thought of tender sympathy. I am very
sorry to say that Tommy has not learned any words yet. He is the same
restless little creature he was when you saw him. But it is pleasant
to think that he is happy and playful in his bright new home, and by
and by that strange, wonderful thing teacher calls MIND, will begin
to spread its beautiful wings and fly away in search of
knowledge-land. Words are the mind's wings, are they not?
I have been to Andover since I saw you, and I was greatly
interested in all that my friends told me about Phillips Academy,
because I knew you had been there, and I felt it was a place dear to
you. I tried to imagine my gentle poet when he was a school-boy, and I
wondered if it was in Andover he learned the songs of the birds and
the secrets of the shy little woodland children. I am sure his heart
was always full of music, and in God's beautiful world he must have
heard love's sweet replying. When I came home teacher read to me "The
School-boy," for it is not in our print.
Did you know that the blind children are going to have their
commencement exercises in Tremont Temple, next Tuesday afternoon? I
enclose a ticket, hoping that you will come. We shall all be proud and
happy to welcome our poet friend. I shall recite about the beautiful
cities of sunny Italy. I hope our kind friend Dr. Ellis will come too,
and take Tom in his arms.
With much love and a kiss, from your little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO REV. PHILLIPS BROOKS South Boston, June 8, 1891. My dear Mr.
Brooks, I send you my picture as I promised, and I hope when you look
at it this summer your thoughts will fly southward to your happy
little friend. I used to wish that I could see pictures with my hands
as I do statues, but now I do not often think about it because my dear
Father has filled my mind with beautiful pictures, even of things I
cannot see. If the light were not in your eyes, dear Mr. Brooks, you
would understand better how happy your little Helen was when her
teacher explained to her that the best and most beautiful things in
the world cannot be seen nor even touched, but just felt in the heart.
Every day I find out something which makes me glad. Yesterday I
thought for the first time what a beautiful thing motion was, and it
seemed to me that everything was trying to get near to God, does it
seem that way to you? It is Sunday morning, and while I sit here in
the library writing this letter you are teaching hundreds of people
some of the grand and beautiful things about their heavenly Father.
Are you not very, very happy? and when you are a Bishop you will
preach to more people and more and more will be made glad. Teacher
sends her kind remembrances, and I send you with my picture my dear
love. From your little friend HELEN KELLER.
When the Perkins Institution closed in June, Helen and her teacher
went south to Tuscumbia, where they remained until December. There is
a hiatus of several months in the letters, caused by the depressing
effect on Helen and Miss Sullivan of the "Frost King" episode. At the
time this trouble seemed very grave and brought them much unhappiness.
An analysis of the case has been made elsewhere, and Miss Keller has
written her account of it.
TO MR. ALBERT H. MUNSELL Brewster, Mar. 10, 1892. My dear Mr.
Munsell, Surely I need not tell you that your letter was very welcome.
I enjoyed every word of it and wished that it was longer. I laughed
when you spoke of old Neptune's wild moods. He has, in truth, behaved
very strangely ever since we came to Brewster. It is evident that
something has displeased his Majesty but I cannot imagine what it can
be. His expression has been so turbulent that I have feared to give
him your kind message. Who knows! Perhaps the Old Sea God as he lay
asleep upon the shore, heard the soft music of growing things—the
stir of life in the earth's bosom, and his stormy heart was angry,
because he knew that his and Winter's reign was almost at an end. So
together the unhappy monarch[s] fought most despairingly, thinking
that gentle Spring would turn and fly at the very sight of the havoc
caused by their forces. But lo! the lovely maiden only smiles more
sweetly, and breathes upon the icy battlements of her enemies, and in
a moment they vanish, and the glad Earth gives her a royal welcome.
But I must put away these idle fancies until we meet again. Please
give your dear mother my love. Teacher wishes me to say that she liked
the photograph very much and she will see about having some when we
return. Now, dear friend, Please accept these few words because of the
love that is linked with them. Lovingly yours HELEN KELLER.
This letter was reproduced in facsimile in St. Nicholas, June,
1892. It is undated, but must have been written two or three months
before it was published.
To St. Nicholas Dear St. Nicholas:
It gives me very great pleasure to send you my autograph because I
want the boys and girls who read St. Nicholas to know how blind
children write. I suppose some of them wonder how we keep the lines
so straight so I will try to tell them how it is done. We have a
grooved board which we put between the pages when we wish to write.
The parallel grooves correspond to lines and when we have pressed the
paper into them by means of the blunt end of the pencil it is very
easy to keep the words even. The small letters are all made in the
grooves, while the long ones extend above and below them. We guide the
pencil with the right hand, and feel carefully with the forefinger of
the left hand to see that we shape and space the letters correctly. It
is very difficult at first to form them plainly, but if we keep on
trying it gradually becomes easier, and after a great deal of practice
we can write legible letters to our friends. Then we are very, very
happy. Sometime they may visit a school for the blind. If they do, I
am sure they will wish to see the pupils write. Very sincerely your
little friend HELEN KELLER.
In May, 1892, Helen gave a tea in aid of the kindergarten for the
blind. It was quite her own idea, and was given in the house of Mrs.
Mahlon D. Spaulding, sister of Mr. John P. Spaulding, one of Helen's
kindest and most liberal friends. The tea brought more than two
thousand dollars for the blind children.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY South Boston, May 9, 1892. My dear Miss
Carrie:—I was much pleased to receive your kind letter. Need I tell
you that I was more than delighted to hear that you are really
interested in the "tea"? Of course we must not give it up. Very soon I
am going far away, to my own dear home, in the sunny south, and it
would always make me happy to think that the last thing which my dear
friends in Boston did for my pleasure was to help make the lives of
many little sightless children good and happy. I know that kind people
cannot help feeling a tender sympathy for the little ones, who cannot
see the beautiful light, or any of the wonderful things which give
them pleasure; and it seems to me that all loving sympathy must
express itself in acts of kindness; and when the friends of little
helpless blind children understand that we are working for their
happiness, they will come and make our "tea" a success, and I am sure
I shall be the happiest little girl in all the world. Please let
Bishop Brooks know our plans, so that he may arrange to be with us. I
am glad Miss Eleanor is interested. Please give her my love. I will
see you to-morrow and then we can make the rest of our plans. Please
give your dear aunt teacher's and my love and tell her that we enjoyed
our little visit very much indeed. Lovingly yours,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MR. JOHN P. SPAULDING South Boston, May 11th, 1892. My dear
Mr. Spaulding:—I am afraid you will think your little friend, Helen,
very troublesome when you read this letter; but I am sure you will not
blame me when I tell you that I am very anxious about something. You
remember teacher and I told you Sunday that I wanted to have a little
tea in aid of the kindergarten. We thought everything was arranged:
but we found Monday that Mrs. Elliott would not be willing to let us
invite more than fifty people, because Mrs. Howe's house is quite
small. I am sure that a great many people would like to come to the
tea, and help me do something to brighten the lives of little blind
children; but some of my friends say that I shall have to give up the
idea of having a tea unless we can find another house. Teacher said
yesterday, that perhaps Mrs. Spaulding would be willing to let us have
her beautiful house, and [I] thought I would ask you about it. Do you
think Mrs. Spaulding would help me, if I wrote to her? I shall be so
disappointed if my little plans fail, because I have wanted for a long
time to do something for the poor little ones who are waiting to enter
the kindergarten. Please let me know what you think about the house,
and try to forgive me for troubling you so much. Lovingly your little
friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO MR. EDWARD H. CLEMENT South Boston, May 18th, 1892. My dear
Mr. Clement:—I am going to write to you this beautiful morning
because my heart is brimful of happiness and I want you and all my
dear friends in the Transcript office to rejoice with me. The
preparations for my tea are nearly completed, and I am looking forward
joyfully to the event. I know I shall not fail. Kind people will not
disappoint me, when they know that I plead for helpless little
children who live in darkness and ignorance. They will come to my tea
and buy light,—the beautiful light of knowledge and love for many
little ones who are blind and friendless. I remember perfectly when my
dear teacher came to me. Then I was like the little blind children who
are waiting to enter the kindergarten. There was no light in my soul.
This wonderful world with all its sunlight and beauty was hidden from
me, and I had never dreamed of its loveliness. But teacher came to me
and taught my little fingers to use the beautiful key that has
unlocked the door of my dark prison and set my spirit free.
It is my earnest wish to share my happiness with others, and I ask
the kind people of Boston to help me make the lives of little blind
children brighter and happier. Lovingly your little friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
At the end of June Miss Sullivan and Helen went home to Tuscumbia.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY Tuscumbia, Alabama, July 9th 1892.
My dear Carrie—You are to look upon it as a most positive proof
of my love that I write to you to-day. For a whole week it has been
"cold and dark and dreary" in Tuscumbia, and I must confess the
continuous rain and dismalness of the weather fills me with gloomy
thoughts and makes the writing of letters, or any pleasant employment,
seem quite impossible. Nevertheless, I must tell you that we are
alive,—that we reached home safely, and that we speak of you daily,
and enjoy your interesting letters very much. I had a beautiful visit
at Hulton. Everything was fresh and spring-like, and we stayed out of
doors all day. We even ate our breakfast out on the piazza. Sometimes
we sat in the hammock, and teacher read to me. I rode horseback nearly
every evening and once I rode five miles at a fast gallop. O, it was
great fun! Do you like to ride? I have a very pretty little cart now,
and if it ever stops raining teacher and I are going to drive every
evening. And I have another beautiful Mastiff- the largest one I ever
saw—and he will go along to protect us. His name is Eumer. A queer
name, is it not? I think it is Saxon. We expect to go to the mountains
next week. My little brother, Phillips, is not well, and we think the
clear mountain air will benefit him. Mildred is a sweet little sister
and I am sure you would love her. I thank you very much for your
photograph. I like to have my friends' pictures even though I cannot
see them. I was greatly amused at the idea of your writing the square
hand. I do not write on a Braille tablet, as you suppose, but on a
grooved board like the piece which I enclose. You could not read
Braille; for it is written in dots, not at all like ordinary letters.
Please give my love to Miss Derby and tell her that I hope she gave my
sweetest love to Baby Ruth. What was the book you sent me for my
birthday? I received several, and I do not know which was from you. I
had one gift which especially pleased me. It was a lovely cape
crocheted, for me, by an old gentleman, seventy-five years of age. And
every stitch, he writes, represents a kind wish for my health and
happiness. Tell your little cousins I think they had better get upon
the fence with me until after the election; for there are so many
parties and candidates that I doubt if such youthful politicians would
make a wise selection. Please give my love to Rosy when you write, and
believe me, Your loving friend HELEN KELLER. P.S. How do you like
this type-written letter? H. K.
TO MRS. GROVER CLEVELAND My dear Mrs. Cleveland, I am going to
write you a little letter this beautiful morning because I love you
and dear little Ruth very much indeed, and also because I wish to
thank you for the loving message which you sent me through Miss Derby.
I am glad, very glad that such a kind, beautiful lady loves me. I have
loved you for a long time, but I did not think you had ever heard of
me until your sweet message came. Please kiss your dear little baby
for me, and tell her I have a little brother nearly sixteen months
old. His name is Phillips Brooks. I named him myself after my dear
friend Phillips Brooks. I send you with this letter a pretty book
which my teacher thinks will interest you, and my picture. Please
accept them with the love and good wishes of your friend,
HELEN A. KELLER. Tuscumbia, Alabama. November fourth. [1892.]
Hitherto the letters have been given in full; from this point on
passages are omitted and the omissions are indicated.
TO MR. JOHN HITZ Tuscumbia, Alabama, Dec. 19, 1892.
My Dear Mr. Hitz, I hardly know how to begin a letter to you, it
has been such a long time since your kind letter reached me, and there
is so much that I would like to write if I could. You must have
wondered why your letter has not had an answer, and perhaps you have
thought Teacher and me very naughty indeed. If so, you will be very
sorry when I tell you something. Teacher's eyes have been hurting her
so that she could not write to any one, and I have been trying to
fulfil a promise which I made last summer. Before I left Boston, I
was asked to write a sketch of my life for the Youth's Companion. I
had intended to write the sketch during my vacation: but I was not
well, and I did not feel able to write even to my friends. But when
the bright, pleasant autumn days came, and I felt strong again I began
to think about the sketch. It was some time before I could plan it to
suit me. You see, it is not very pleasant to write all about one's
self. At last, however, I got something bit by bit that Teacher
thought would do, and I set about putting the scraps together, which
was not an easy task: for, although I worked some on it every day, I
did not finish it until a week ago Saturday. I sent the sketch to the
Companion as soon as it was finished; but I do not know that they will
accept it. Since then, I have not been well, and I have been obliged
to keep very quiet, and rest; but to-day I am better, and to-morrow I
shall be well again, I hope.
The reports which you have read in the paper about me are not true
at all. We received the Silent Worker which you sent, and I wrote
right away to the editor to tell him that it was a mistake. Sometimes
I am not well; but I am not a "wreck," and there is nothing
"distressing" about my condition.
I enjoyed your dear letter so much! I am always delighted when
anyone writes me a beautiful thought which I can treasure in my
memory forever. It is because my books are full of the riches of
which Mr. Ruskin speaks that I love them so dearly. I did not realize
until I began to write the sketch for the Companion, what precious
companions books have been to me, and how blessed even my life has
been: and now I am happier than ever because I do realize the
happiness that has come to me. I hope you will write to me as often as
you can. Teacher and I are always delighted to hear from you. I want
to write to Mr. Bell and send him my picture. I suppose he has been
too busy to write to his little friend. I often think of the pleasant
time we had all together in Boston last spring.
Now I am going to tell you a secret. I think we, Teacher, and my
father and little sister, and myself, will visit Washington next
March!!! Then I shall see you, and dear Mr. Bell, and Elsie and Daisy
again! Would not it be lovely if Mrs. Pratt could meet us there? I
think I will write to her and tell her the secret too....
Lovingly your little friend,
HELEN KELLER. P.S. Teacher says you want to know what kind of a
pet I would like to have. I love all living things,—I suppose
everyone does; but of course I cannot have a menagerie. I have a
beautiful pony, and a large dog. And I would like a little dog to hold
in my lap, or a big pussy (there are no fine cats in Tuscumbia) or a
parrot. I would like to feel a parrot talk, it would be so much fun!
but I would be pleased with, and love any little creature you send
me.
H. K.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY Tuscumbia, Alabama, February 18, 1893.
...You have often been in my thoughts during these sad days, while
my heart has been grieving over the loss of my beloved friend
[Phillips Brooks died January 23, 1893], and I have wished many times
that I was in Boston with those who knew and loved him as I did... he
was so much of a friend to me! so tender and loving always! I do try
not to mourn his death too sadly. I do try to think that he is still
near, very near; but sometimes the thought that he is not here, that I
shall not see him when I go to Boston,—that he is gone,—rushes over
my soul like a great wave of sorrow. But at other times, when I am
happier, I do feel his beautiful presence, and his loving hand leading
me in pleasant ways. Do you remember the happy hour we spent with him
last June when he held my hand, as he always did, and talked to us
about his friend Tennyson, and our own dear poet Dr. Holmes, and I
tried to teach him the manual alphabet, and he laughed so gaily over
his mistakes, and afterward I told him about my tea, and he promised
to come? I can hear him now, saying in his cheerful, decided way, in
reply to my wish that my tea might be a success, "Of course it will,
Helen. Put your whole heart in the good work, my child, and it cannot
fail." I am glad the people are going to raise a monument to his
memory....
In March Helen and Miss Sullivan went North, and spent the next
few months traveling and visiting friends.
In reading this letter about Niagara one should remember that Miss
Keller knows distance and shape, and that the size of Niagara is
within her experience after she has explored it, crossed the bridge
and gone down in the elevator. Especially important are such details
as her feeling the rush of the water by putting her hand on the
window. Dr. Bell gave her a down pillow, which she held against her to
increase the vibrations.
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER
South Boston, April 13, 1893.
...Teacher, Mrs. Pratt and I very unexpectedly decided to take a
journey with dear Dr. Bell Mr. Westervelt, a gentleman whom father
met in Washington, has a school for the deaf in Rochester. We went
there first....
Mr. Westervelt gave us a reception one afternoon. A great many
people came. Some of them asked odd questions. A lady seemed
surprised that I loved flowers when I could not see their beautiful
colors, and when I assured her I did love them, she said, "no doubt
you feel the colors with your fingers." But of course, it is not alone
for their bright colors that we love the flowers.... A gentleman asked
me what BEAUTY meant to my mind. I must confess I was puzzled at
first. But after a minute I answered that beauty was a form of
goodness—and he went away.
When the reception was over we went back to the hotel and teacher
slept quite unconscious of the surprise which was in store for her.
Mr. Bell and I planned it together, and Mr. Bell made all the
arrangements before we told teacher anything about it. This was the
surprise—I was to have the pleasure of taking my dear teacher to see
Niagara Falls!...
The hotel was so near the river that I could feel it rushing past
by putting my hand on the window. The next morning the sun rose
bright and warm, and we got up quickly for our hearts were full of
pleasant expectation.... You can never imagine how I felt when I stood
in the presence of Niagara until you have the same mysterious
sensations yourself. I could hardly realize that it was water that I
felt rushing and plunging with impetuous fury at my feet. It seemed as
if it were some living thing rushing on to some terrible fate. I wish
I could describe the cataract as it is, its beauty and awful grandeur,
and the fearful and irresistible plunge of its waters over the brow of
the precipice. One feels helpless and overwhelmed in the presence of
such a vast force. I had the same feeling once before when I first
stood by the great ocean and felt its waves beating against the shore.
I suppose you feel so, too, when you gaze up to the stars in the
stillness of the night, do you not?... We went down a hundred and
twenty feet in an elevator that we might see the violent eddies and
whirlpools in the deep gorge below the Falls. Within two miles of the
Falls is a wonderful suspension bridge. It is thrown across the gorge
at a height of two hundred and fifty-eight feet above the water and is
supported on each bank by towers of solid rock, which are eight
hundred feet apart. When we crossed over to the Canadian side, I
cried, "God save the Queen!" Teacher said I was a little traitor. But
I do not think so. I was only doing as the Canadians do, while I was
in their country, and besides I honor England's good queen.
You will be pleased, dear Mother, to hear that a kind lady whose
name is Miss Hooker is endeavoring to improve my speech. Oh, I do so
hope and pray that I shall speak well some day!...
Mr. Munsell spent last Sunday evening with us. How you would have
enjoyed hearing him tell about Venice! His beautiful word-pictures
made us feel as if we were sitting in the shadow of San Marco,
dreaming, or sailing upon the moonlit canal.... I hope when I visit
Venice, as I surely shall some day, that Mr. Munsell will go with me.
That is my castle in the air. You see, none of my friends describe
things to me so vividly and so beautifully as he does....
Her visit to the World's Fair she described in a letter to Mr.
John P. Spaulding, which was published in St. Nicholas, and is much
like the following letter. In a prefatory note which Miss Sullivan
wrote for St. Nicholas, she says that people frequently said to her,
"Helen sees more with her fingers than we do with our eyes." The
President of the Exposition gave her this letter:
TO THE CHIEFS OF THE DEPARTMENTS AND OFFICERS IN CHARGE OF
BUILDINGS AND EXHIBITS
GENTLEMEN—The bearer, Miss Helen Keller, accompanied by Miss
Sullivan, is desirous of making a complete inspection of the
Exposition in all Departments. She is blind and deaf, but is able to
converse, and is introduced to me as one having a wonderful ability to
understand the objects she visits, and as being possessed of a high
order of intelligence and of culture beyond her years. Please favour
her with every facility to examine the exhibits in the several
Departments, and extend to her such other courtesies as may be
possible.
Thanking you in advance for the same, I am, with respect, Very
truly yours, (signed) H. N. HIGINBOTHAM, President.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY Hulton, Penn., August 17, 1893.
...Every one at the Fair was very kind to me... Nearly all of the
exhibitors seemed perfectly willing to let me touch the most delicate
things, and they were very nice about explaining everything to me. A
French gentleman, whose name I cannot remember, showed me the great
French bronzes. I believe they gave me more pleasure than anything
else at the Fair: they were so lifelike and wonderful to my touch. Dr.
Bell went with us himself to the electrical building, and showed us
some of the historical telephones. I saw the one through which Emperor
Dom Pedro listened to the words, "To be, or not to be," at the
Centennial. Dr. Gillett of Illinois took us to the Liberal Arts and
Woman's buildings. In the former I visited Tiffany's exhibit, and held
the beautiful Tiffany diamond, which is valued at one hundred
thousand dollars, and touched many other rare and costly things. I
sat in King Ludwig's armchair and felt like a queen when Dr. Gillett
remarked that I had many loyal subjects. At the Woman's building we
met the Princess Maria Schaovskoy of Russia, and a beautiful Syrian
lady. I liked them both very much. I went to the Japanese department
with Prof. Morse who is a well-known lecturer. I never realized what a
wonderful people the Japanese are until I saw their most interesting
exhibit. Japan must indeed be a paradise for children to judge from
the great number of playthings which are manufactured there. The
queer-looking Japanese musical instruments, and their beautiful works
of art were interesting. The Japanese books are very odd. There are
forty-seven letters in their alphabets. Prof. Morse knows a great
deal about Japan, and is very kind and wise. He invited me to visit
his museum in Salem the next time I go to Boston. But I think I
enjoyed the sails on the tranquil lagoon, and the lovely scenes, as my
friends described them to me, more than anything else at the Fair.
Once, while we were out on the water, the sun went down over the rim
of the earth, and threw a soft, rosy light over the White City, making
it look more than ever like Dreamland....
Of course, we visited the Midway Plaisance. It was a bewildering
and fascinating place. I went into the streets of Cairo, and rode on
the camel. That was fine fun. We also rode in the Ferris wheel, and on
the ice-railway, and had a sail in the Whale-back....
In the spring of 1893 a club was started in Tuscumbia, of which
Mrs. Keller was president, to establish a public library. Miss Keller
says:
"I wrote to my friends about the work and enlisted their sympathy.
Several hundred books, including many fine ones, were sent to me in a
short time, as well as money and encouragement. This generous
assistance encouraged the ladies, and they have gone on collecting and
buying books ever since, until now they have a very respectable public
library in the town."
TO MRS. CHARLES E. INCHES
Hulton, Penn., Oct. 21, 1893.
...We spent September at home in Tuscumbia... and were all very
happy together.... Our quiet mountain home was especially attractive
and restful after the excitement and fatigue of our visit to the
World's Fair. We enjoyed the beauty and solitude of the hills more
than ever.
And now we are in Hulton, Penn. again where I am going to study
this winter with a tutor assisted by my dear teacher. I study
Arithmetic, Latin and literature. I enjoy my lessons very much. It is
so pleasant to learn about new things. Every day I find how little I
know, but I do not feel discouraged since God has given me an eternity
in which to learn more. In literature I am studying Longfellow's
poetry. I know a great deal of it by heart, for I loved it long before
I knew a metaphor from a synecdoche. I used to say I did not like
arithmetic very well, but now I have changed my mind. I see what a
good and useful study it is, though I must confess my mind wanders
from it sometimes! for, nice and useful as arithmetic is, it is not as
interesting as a beautiful poem or a lovely story. But bless me, how
time does fly. I have only a few moments left in which to answer your
questions about the "Helen Keller" Public Library.
1. I think there are about 3,000 people in Tuscumbia, Ala., and
perhaps half of them are colored people. 2. At present there is no
library of any sort in the town. That is why I thought about starting
one. My mother and several of my lady friends said they would help me,
and they formed a club, the object of which is to work for the
establishment of a free public library in Tuscumbia. They have now
about 100 books and about $55 in money, and a kind gentleman has given
us land on which to erect a library building. But in the meantime the
club has rented a little room in a central part of the town, and the
books which we already have are free to all. 3. Only a few of my kind
friends in Boston know anything about the library. I did not like to
trouble them while I was trying to get money for poor little Tommy,
for of course it was more important that he should be educated than
that my people should have books to read. 4. I do not know what books
we have, but I think it is a miscellaneous (I think that is the word)
collection....
P.S. My teacher thinks it would be more businesslike to say that a
list of the contributors toward the building fund will be kept and
published in my father's paper, the "North Alabamian." H. K.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY Hulton, Penn., December 28, 1893.
...Please thank dear Miss Derby for me for the pretty shield which
she sent me. It is a very interesting souvenir of Columbus, and of the
Fair White City; but I cannot imagine what discoveries I have made,—I
mean new discoveries. We are all discoverers in one sense, being born
quite ignorant of all things; but I hardly think that is what she
meant. Tell her she must explain why I am a discoverer....
TO DR. EDWARD EVERETT HALE Hulton, Pennsylvania, January 14,
[1894]. My dear Cousin: I had thought to write to you long before this
in answer to your kind letter which I was so glad to receive, and to
thank you for the beautiful little book which you sent me; but I have
been very busy since the beginning of the New Year. The publication of
my little story in the Youth's Companion has brought me a large number
of letters,—last week I received sixty-one!—and besides replying to
some of these letters, I have many lessons to learn, among them
Arithmetic and Latin; and, you know, Caesar is Caesar still, imperious
and tyrannical, and if a little girl would understand so great a man,
and the wars and conquests of which he tells in his beautiful Latin
language, she must study much and think much, and study and thought
require time.
I shall prize the little book always, not only for its own value;
but because of its associations with you. It is a delight to think of
you as the giver of one of your books into which, I am sure, you have
wrought your own thoughts and feelings, and I thank you very much for
remembering me in such a very beautiful way....
In February Helen and Miss Sullivan returned to Tuscumbia. They
spent the rest of the spring reading and studying. In the summer they
attended the meeting at Chautauqua of the American Association for the
Promotion of the Teaching of Speech to the Deaf, where Miss Sullivan
read a paper on Helen Keller's education.
In the fall Helen and Miss Sullivan entered the Wright-Humason
School in New York, which makes a special of lip-reading and
voice-culture. The "singing lessons" were to strengthen her voice.
She had taken a few piano lessons at the Perkins Institution. The
experiment was interesting, but of course came to little.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY The Wright-Humason School. 42 West 76th
St. New York. Oct. 23, 1894.
...The school is very pleasant, and bless you! it is quite
fashionable.... I study Arithmetic, English Literature and United
States History as I did last winter. I also keep a diary. I enjoy my
singing lessons with Dr. Humason more than I can say. I expect to take
piano lessons sometime....
Last Saturday our kind teachers planned a delightful trip to
Bedloe's Island to see Bartholdi's great statue of Liberty
enlightening the world.... The ancient cannon, which look seaward,
wear a very menacing expression; but I doubt if there is any
unkindness in their rusty old hearts.
Liberty is a gigantic figure of a woman in Greek draperies,
holding in her right hand a torch.... A spiral stairway leads from
the base of this pedestal to the torch. We climbed up to the head
which will hold forty persons, and viewed the scene on which Liberty
gazes day and night, and O, how wonderful it was! We did not wonder
that the great French artist thought the place worthy to be the home
of his grand ideal. The glorious bay lay calm and beautiful in the
October sunshine, and the ships came and went like idle dreams; those
seaward going slowly disappeared like clouds that change from gold to
gray; those homeward coming sped more quickly like birds that seek
their mother's nest....
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY The Wright-Humason School. New York,
March 15, 1895.
...I think I have improved a little in lip-reading, though I still
find it very difficult to read rapid speech; but I am sure I shall
succeed some day if I only persevere. Dr. Humason is still trying to
improve my speech. Oh, Carrie, how I should like to speak like other
people! I should be willing to work night and day if it could only be
accomplished. Think what a joy it would be to all of my friends to
hear me speak naturally!! I wonder why it is so difficult and
perplexing for a deaf child to learn to speak when it is so easy for
other people; but I am sure I shall speak perfectly some time if I am
only patient....
Although I have been so busy, I have found time to read a good
deal.... I have lately read "Wilhelm Tell" by Schiller, and "The Lost
Vestal."... Now I am reading "Nathan the Wise" by Lessing and "King
Arthur" by Miss Mulock.
...You know our kind teachers take us to see everything which they
think will interest us, and we learn a great deal in that delightful
way. On George Washington's birthday we all went to the Dog Show, and
although there was a great crowd in the Madison Square Garden, and
despite the bewilderment caused by the variety of sounds made by the
dog-orchestra, which was very confusing to those who could hear them,
we enjoyed the afternoon very much. Among the dogs which received the
most attention were the bulldogs. They permitted themselves startling
liberties when any one caressed them, crowding themselves almost into
one's arms and helping themselves without ceremony to kisses,
apparently unconscious of the impropriety of their conduct. Dear me,
what unbeautiful little beasts they are! But they are so good natured
and friendly, one cannot help liking them.
Dr. Humason, Teacher, and I left the others at the Dog Show and
went to a reception given by the "Metropolitan Club."... It is
sometimes called the "Millionaires' Club." The building is
magnificent, being built of white marble; the rooms are large and
splendidly furnished; but I must confess, so much splendor is rather
oppressive to me; and I didn't envy the millionaires in the least all
the happiness their gorgeous surroundings are supposed to bring
them....
TO MRS. KATE ADAMS KELLER New York, March 31, 1895.
...Teacher and I spent the afternoon at Mr. Hutton's, and had a
most delightful time!... We met Mr. Clemens and Mr. Howells there! I
had known about them for a long time; but I had never thought that I
should see them, and talk to them; and I can scarcely realize now that
this great pleasure has been mine! But, much as I wonder that I, only
a little girl of fourteen, should come in contact with so many
distinguished people, I do realize that I am a very happy child, and
very grateful for the many beautiful privileges I have enjoyed. The
two distinguished authors were very gentle and kind, and I could not
tell which of them I loved best. Mr. Clemens told us many entertaining
stories, and made us laugh till we cried. I only wish you could have
seen and heard him! He told us that he would go to Europe in a few
days to bring his wife and his daughter, Jeanne, back to America,
because Jeanne, who is studying in Paris, has learned so much in
three years and a half that if he did not bring her home, she would
soon know more than he did. I think Mark Twain is a very appropriate
nom de plume for Mr. Clemens because it has a funny and quaint sound,
and goes well with his amusing writings, and its nautical significance
suggests the deep and beautiful things that he has written. I think he
is very handsome indeed.... Teacher said she thought he looked
something like Paradeuski. (If that is the way to spell the name.) Mr.
Howells told me a little about Venice, which is one of his favorite
cities, and spoke very tenderly of his dear little girl, Winnifred,
who is now with God. He has another daughter, named Mildred, who knows
Carrie. I might have seen Mrs. Wiggin, the sweet author of "Birds'
Christmas Carol," but she had a dangerous cough and could not come. I
was much disappointed not to see her, but I hope I shall have that
pleasure some other time. Mr. Hutton gave me a lovely little glass,
shaped like a thistle, which belonged to his dear mother, as a
souvenir of my delightful visit. We also met Mr. Rogers... who kindly
left his carriage to bring us home.
When the Wright-Humason School closed for the summer, Miss
Sullivan and Helen went South.
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON Tuscumbia, Alabama, July 29, 1895.
...I am spending my vacation very quietly and pleasantly at my
beautiful, sunny home, with my loving parents, my darling little
sister and my small brother, Phillips My precious teacher is with me
too, and so of course I am happy I read a little, walk a little, write
a little and play with the children a great deal, and the days slip by
delightfully!...
My friends are so pleased with the improvement which I made in
speech and lip-reading last year, that it has been decided best for
me to continue my studies in New York another year I am delighted at
the prospect, of spending another year in your great city I used to
think that I should never feel "at home" in New York, but since I have
made the acquaintance of so many people, and can look back to such a
bright and successful winter there, I find myself looking forward to
next year, and anticipating still brighter and better times in the
Metropolis
Please give my kindest love to Mr Hutton, and Mrs Riggs and Mr
Warner too, although I have never had the pleasure of knowing him
personally As I listen Venicewards, I hear Mr Hutton's pen dancing
over the pages of his new book It is a pleasant sound because it is
full of promise How much I shall enjoy reading it!
Please pardon me, my dear Mrs Hutton, for sending you a
typewritten letter across the ocean I have tried several times to
write with a pencil on my little writing machine since I came home;
but I have found it very difficult to do so on account of the heat
The moisture of my hand soils and blurs the paper so dreadfully, that
I am compelled to use my typewriter altogether And it is not my
"Remington" either, but a naughty little thing that gets out of order
on the slightest provocation, and cannot be induced to make a
period...
TO MRS. WILLIAM THAW New York, October 16, 1895. Here we are once
more in the great metropolis! We left Hulton Friday night and arrived
here Saturday morning. Our friends were greatly surprised to see us,
as they had not expected us before the last of this month. I rested
Saturday afternoon, for I was very tired, and Sunday I visited with my
schoolmates, and now that I feel quite rested, I am going to write to
you; for I know you will want to hear that we reached New York safely.
We had to change cars at Philadelphia; but we did not mind it much.
After we had had our breakfast, Teacher asked one of the train-men in
the station if the New York train was made up. He said no, it would
not be called for about fifteen minutes; so we sat down to wait; but
in a moment the man came back and asked Teacher if we would like to go
to the train at once. She said we would, and he took us way out on the
track and put us on board our train. Thus we avoided the rush and had
a nice quiet visit before the train started. Was that not very kind?
So it always is. Some one is ever ready to scatter little acts of
kindness along our pathway, making it smooth and pleasant...
We had a quiet but very pleasant time in Hulton. Mr. Wade is just
as dear and good as ever! He has lately had several books printed in
England for me, "Old Mortality," "The Castle of Otranto" and "King of
No-land."...
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY New York, December 29, 1895.
...Teacher and I have been very gay of late. We have seen our kind
friends, Mrs. Dodge, Mr. and Mrs. Hutton, Mrs. Riggs and her husband,
and met many distinguished people, among whom were Miss Ellen Terry,
Sir Henry Irving and Mr. Stockton! Weren't we very fortunate? Miss
Terry was lovely. She kissed Teacher and said, "I do not know whether
I am glad to see you or not; for I feel so ashamed of myself when I
think of how much you have done for the little girl." We also met Mr.
and Mrs. Terry, Miss Terry's brother and his wife. I thought her
beauty angellic, and oh, what a clear, beautiful voice she had! We saw
Miss Terry again with Sir Henry in "King Charles the First," a week
ago last Friday, and after the play they kindly let me feel of them
and get an idea of how they looked. How noble and kingly the King was,
especially in his misfortunes! And how pretty and faithful the poor
Queen was! The play seemed so real, we almost forgot where we were,
and believed we were watching the genuine scenes as they were acted so
long ago. The last act affected us most deeply, and we all wept,
wondering how the executioner could have the heart to tear the King
from his loving wife's arms.
I have just finished reading "Ivanhoe." It was very exciting; but
I must say I did not enjoy it very much. Sweet Rebecca, with her
strong, brave spirit, and her pure, generous nature, was the only
character which thoroughly won my admiration. Now I am reading
"Stories from Scottish History," and they are very thrilling and
absorbing!...
The next two letters were written just after the death of Mr. John
P. Spaulding.
TO MRS. GEORGE H. BRADFORD New York, February 4, 1896. What can
I say which will make you understand how much Teacher and I appreciate
your thoughtful kindness in sending us those little souvenirs of the
dear room where we first met the best and kindest of friends? Indeed,
you can never know all the comfort you have given us. We have put the
dear picture on the mantel-piece in our room where we can see it every
day, and I often go and touch it, and somehow I cannot help feeling
that our beloved friend is very near to me.... It was very hard to
take up our school work again, as if nothing had happened; but I am
sure it is well that we have duties which must be done, and which take
our minds away for a time at least from our sorrow....
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY New York, March 2nd, 1896.
...We miss dear King John sadly. It was so hard to lose him, he
was the best and kindest of friends, and I do not know what we shall
do without him....
We went to a poultry-show... and the man there kindly permitted us
to feel of the birds. They were so tame, they stood perfectly still
when I handled them. I saw great big turkeys, geese, guineas, ducks
and many others.
Almost two weeks ago we called at Mr. Hutton's and had a
delightful time. We always do! We met Mr. Warner, the writer, Mr.
Mabie, the editor of the Outlook and other pleasant people. I am sure
you would like to know Mr. and Mrs. Hutton, they are so kind and
interesting. I can never tell you how much pleasure they have given
us.
Mr. Warner and Mr. Burroughs, the great lover of nature, came to
see us a few days after, and we had a delightful talk with them. They
were both very, very dear! Mr. Burroughs told me about his home near
the Hudson, and what a happy place it must be! I hope we shall visit
it some day. Teacher has read me his lively stories about his boyhood,
and I enjoyed them greatly. Have you read the beautiful poem,
"Waiting"? I know it, and it makes me feel so happy, it has such sweet
thoughts. Mr. Warner showed me a scarf-pin with a beetle on it which
was made in Egypt fifteen hundred years before Christ, and told me
that the beetle meant immortality to the Egyptians because it wrapped
itself up and went to sleep and came out again in a new form, thus
renewing itself.
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY New York, April 25, 1896.
...My studies are the same as they were when I saw you, except
that I have taken up French with a French teacher who comes three
times a week. I read her lips almost exclusively, (she does not know
the manual alphabet) and we get on quite well. I have read "Le Medecin
Malgre Lui," a very good French comedy by Moliere, with pleasure; and
they say I speak French pretty well now, and German also. Anyway,
French and German people understand what I am trying to say, and that
is very encouraging. In voice-training I have still the same old
difficulties to contend against; and the fulfilment of my wish to
speak well seems O, so far away! Sometimes I feel sure that I catch a
faint glimpse of the goal I am striving for, but in another minute a
bend in the road hides it from my view, and I am again left wandering
in the dark! But I try hard not to be discouraged. Surely we shall all
find at last the ideals we are seeking....
TO MR. JOHN HITZ Brewster, Mass. July 15, 1896.
...As to the book, I am sure I shall enjoy it very much when I am
admitted, by the magic of Teacher's dear fingers, into the
companionship of the two sisters who went to the Immortal Fountain.
As I sit by the window writing to you, it is so lovely to have the
soft, cool breezes fan my cheek and to feel that the hard work of last
year is over! Teacher seems to feel benefitted by the change too; for
she is already beginning to look like her dear old self. We only need
you, dear Mr. Hitz, to complete our happiness. Teacher and Mrs.
Hopkins both say you must come as soon as you can! We will try to make
you comfortable.
Teacher and I spent nine days at Philadelphia. Have you ever been
at Dr. Crouter's Institution? Mr. Howes has probably given you a full
account of our doings. We were busy all the time; we attended the
meetings and talked with hundreds of people, among whom were dear Dr.
Bell, Mr. Banerji of Calcutta, Monsieur Magnat of Paris with whom I
conversed in French exclusively, and many other distinguished persons.
We had looked forward to seeing you there, and so we were greatly
disappointed that you did not come. We think of you so, so often! and
our hearts go out to you in tenderest sympathy; and you know better
than this poor letter can tell you how happy we always are to have you
with us! I made a "speech" on July eighth, telling the members of the
Association what an unspeakable blessing speech has been to me, and
urging them to give every little deaf child an opportunity to learn to
speak. Every one said I spoke very well and intelligibly. After my
little "speech," we attended a reception at which over six hundred
people were present. I must confess I do not like such large
receptions; the people crowd so, and we have to do so much talking;
and yet it is at receptions like the one in Philadelphia that we often
meet friends whom we learn to love afterwards. We left the city last
Thursday night, and arrived in Brewster Friday afternoon. We missed
the Cape Cod train Friday morning, and so we came down to Provincetown
in the steamer Longfellow. I am glad we did so; for it was lovely and
cool on the water, and Boston Harbor is always interesting.
We spent about three weeks in Boston, after leaving New York, and
I need not tell you we had a most delightful time. We visited our
good friends, Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlin, at Wrentham, out in the
country, where they have a lovely home. Their house stands near a
charming lake where we went boating and canoeing, which was great
fun. We also went in bathing several times. Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlin
celebrated the 17th of June by giving a picnic to their literary
friends. There were about forty persons present, all of whom were
writers and publishers. Our friend, Mr. Alden, the editor of Harper's
was there, and of course we enjoyed his society very much....
TO CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER Brewster, Mass., September 3, 1896.
...I have been meaning to write to you all summer; there were many
things I wanted to tell you, and I thought perhaps you would like to
hear about our vacation by the seaside, and our plans for next year;
but the happy, idle days slipped away so quickly, and there were so
many pleasant things to do every moment, that I never found time to
clothe my thought in words, and send them to you. I wonder what
becomes of lost opportunities. Perhaps our guardian angel gathers them
up as we drop them, and will give them back to us in the beautiful
sometime when we have grown wiser, and learned how to use them
rightly. But, however this may be, I cannot now write the letter which
has lain in my thought for you so long. My heart is too full of
sadness to dwell upon the happiness the summer has brought me. My
father is dead. He died last Saturday at my home in Tuscumbia, and I
was not there. My own dear loving father! Oh, dear friend, how shall I
ever bear it!...
On the first of October Miss Keller entered the Cambridge School
for Young Ladies, of which Mr. Arthur Gilman is Principal. The
"examinations" mentioned in this letter were merely tests given in
the school, but as they were old Harvard papers, it is evident that in
some subjects Miss Keller was already fairly well prepared for
Radcliffe.
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 37 Concord Avenue, Cambridge, Mass.
October 8, 1896.
...I got up early this morning, so that I could write you a few
lines. I know you want to hear how I like my school. I do wish you
could come and see for yourself what a beautiful school it is! There
are about a hundred girls, and they are all so bright and happy; it is
a joy to be with them.
You will be glad to hear that I passed my examinations
successfully. I have been examined in English, German, French, and
Greek and Roman history. They were the entrance examinations for
Harvard College; so I feel pleased to think I could pass them. This
year is going to be a very busy one for Teacher and myself. I am
studying Arithmetic, English Literature, English History, German,
Latin, and advanced geography; there is a great deal of preparatory
reading required, and, as few of the books are in raised print, poor
Teacher has to spell them all out to me; and that means hard work.
You must tell Mr. Howells when you see him, that we are living in
his house....
TO MRS. WILLIAM THAW 37 Concord Avenue, Cambridge, Mass.,
December 2, 1896.
...It takes me a long time to prepare my lessons, because I have
to have every word of them spelled out in my hand. Not one of the
textbooks which I am obliged to use is in raised print; so of course
my work is harder than it would be if I could read my lessons over by
myself. But it is harder for Teacher than it is for me because the
strain on her poor eyes is so great, and I cannot help worrying about
them. Sometimes it really seems as if the task which we have set
ourselves were more than we can accomplish; but at other times I enjoy
my work more than I can say.
It is such a delight to be with the other girls, and do everything
that they do. I study Latin, German, Arithmetic and English History,
all of which I enjoy except Arithmetic. I am afraid I have not a
mathematical mind; for my figures always manage to get into the wrong
places!...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON Cambridge, Mass., May 3, 1897.
...You know I am trying very hard to get through with the reading
for the examinations in June, and this, in addition to my regular
schoolwork keeps me awfully busy. But Johnson, and "The Plague" and
everything else must wait a few minutes this afternoon, while I say,
thank you, my dear Mrs. Hutton....
...What a splendid time we had at the "Players' Club." I always
thought clubs were dull, smoky places, where men talked politics, and
told endless stories, all about themselves and their wonderful
exploits: but now I see, I must have been quite wrong....
TO MR. JOHN HITZ Wrentham, Mass. July 9, 1897.
...Teacher and I are going to spend the summer at Wrentham, Mass.
with our friends, the Chamberlins. I think you remember Mr.
Chamberlin, the "Listener" in the Boston Transcript. They are dear,
kind people....
But I know you want to hear about my examinations. I know that you
will be glad to hear that I passed all of them successfully. The
subjects I offered were elementary and advanced German, French, Latin,
English, and Greek and Roman History. It seems almost too good to be
true, does it not? All the time I was preparing for the great ordeal,
I could not suppress an inward fear and trembling lest I should fail,
and now it is an unspeakable relief to know that I have passed the
examinations with credit. But what I consider my crown of success is
the happiness and pleasure that my victory has brought dear Teacher.
Indeed, I feel that the success is hers more than mine; for she is my
constant inspiration....
At the end of September Miss Sullivan and Miss Keller returned to
the Cambridge School, where they remained until early in December.
Then the interference of Mr. Gilman resulted in Mrs. Keller's
withdrawing Miss Helen and her sister, Miss Mildred, from the school.
Miss Sullivan and her pupil went to Wrentham, where they worked under
Mr. Merton S. Keith, an enthusiastic and skilful teacher.
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON Wrentham, February 20, 1898.
...I resumed my studies soon after your departure, and in a very
little while we were working as merrily as if the dreadful experience
of a month ago had been but a dream. I cannot tell you how much I
enjoy the country. It is so fresh, and peaceful and free! I do think I
could work all day long without feeling tired if they would let me.
There are so many pleasant things to do—not always very easy
things,—much of my work in Algebra and Geometry is hard: but I love
it all, especially Greek. Just think, I shall soon finish my grammar!
Then comes the "Iliad." What an inexpressible joy it will be to read
about Achilles, and Ulysses, and Andromache and Athene, and the rest
of my old friends in their own glorious language! I think Greek is the
loveliest language that I know anything about. If it is true that the
violin is the most perfect of musical instruments, then Greek is the
violin of human thought.
We have had some splendid toboganning this month. Every morning,
before lesson-time, we all go out to the steep hill on the northern
shore of the lake near the house, and coast for an hour or so. Some
one balances the toboggan on the very crest of the hill, while we get
on, and when we are ready, off we dash down the side of the hill in a
headlong rush, and, leaping a projection, plunge into a snow-drift and
go swimming far across the pond at a tremendous rate!...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON [Wrentham] April 12, 1898.
...I am glad Mr. Keith is so well pleased with my progress. It is
true that Algebra and Geometry are growing easier all the time,
especially algebra; and I have just received books in raised print
which will greatly facilitate my work....
I find I get on faster, and do better work with Mr. Keith than I
did in the classes at the Cambridge School, and I think it was well
that I gave up that kind of work. At any rate, I have not been idle
since I left school; I have accomplished more, and been happier than I
could have been there....
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON [Wrentham] May 29, 1898.
...My work goes on bravely. Each day is filled to the brim with
hard study; for I am anxious to accomplish as much as possible before
I put away my books for the summer vacation. You will be pleased to
hear that I did three problems in Geometry yesterday without
assistance. Mr. Keith and Teacher were quite enthusiastic over the
achievement, and I must confess, I felt somewhat elated myself. Now I
feel as if I should succeed in doing something in mathematics,
although I cannot see why it is so very important to know that the
lines drawn from the extremities of the base of an isosceles triangle
to the middle points of the opposite sides are equal! The knowledge
doesn't make life any sweeter or happier, does it? On the other hand,
when we learn a new word, it is the key to untold treasures....
TO CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER Wrentham, Mass., June 7, 1898. I am
afraid you will conclude that I am not very anxious for a tandem after
all, since I have let nearly a week pass without answering your letter
in regard to the kind of wheel I should like. But really, I have been
so constantly occupied with my studies since we returned from New
York, that I have not had time even to think of the fun it would be to
have a bicycle! You see, I am anxious to accomplish as much as
possible before the long summer vacation begins. I am glad, though,
that it is nearly time to put away my books; for the sunshine and
flowers, and the lovely lake in front of our house are doing their
best to tempt me away from my Greek and Mathematics, especially from
the latter! I am sure the daisies and buttercups have as little use
for the science of Geometry as I, in spite of the fact that they so
beautifully illustrate its principles.
But bless me, I mustn't forget the tandem! The truth is, I know
very little about bicycles. I have only ridden a "sociable," which is
very different from the ordinary tandem. The "sociable" is safer,
perhaps, than the tandem; but it is very heavy and awkward, and has a
way of taking up the greater part of the road. Besides, I have been
told that "sociables" cost more than other kinds of bicycles. My
teacher and other friends think I could ride a Columbia tandem in the
country with perfect safety. They also think your suggestion about a
fixed handlebar a good one. I ride with a divided skirt, and so does
my teacher; but it would be easier for her to mount a man's wheel than
for me; so, if it could be arranged to have the ladies' seat behind, I
think it would be better....
TO MISS CAROLINE DERBY Wrentham, September 11, 1898.
...I am out of doors all the time, rowing, swimming, riding and
doing a multitude of other pleasant things. This morning I rode over
twelve miles on my tandem! I rode on a rough road, and fell off three
or four times, and am now awfully lame! But the weather and the
scenery were so beautiful, and it was such fun to go scooting over the
smoother part of the road, I didn't mind the mishaps in the least.
I have really learned to swim and dive—after a fashion! I can
swim a little under water, and do almost anything I like, without
fear of getting drowned! Isn't that fine? It is almost no effort for
me to row around the lake, no matter how heavy the load may be. So you
can well imagine how strong and brown I am....
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 12 Newbury Street, Boston, October 23,
1898. This is the first opportunity I have had to write to you since
we came here last Monday. We have been in such a whirl ever since we
decided to come to Boston; it seemed as if we should never get
settled. Poor Teacher has had her hands full, attending to movers,
and express-men, and all sorts of people. I wish it were not such a
bother to move, especially as we have to do it so often!...
...Mr. Keith comes here at half past three every day except
Saturday. He says he prefers to come here for the present. I am
reading the "Iliad," and the "Aeneid" and Cicero, besides doing a lot
in Geometry and Algebra. The "Iliad" is beautiful with all the truth,
and grace and simplicity of a wonderfully childlike people while the
"Aeneid" is more stately and reserved. It is like a beautiful maiden,
who always lived in a palace, surrounded by a magnificent court; while
the "Iliad" is like a splendid youth, who has had the earth for his
playground.
The weather has been awfully dismal all the week; but to-day is
beautiful, and our room floor is flooded with sunlight. By and by we
shall take a little walk in the Public Gardens. I wish the Wrentham
woods were round the corner! But alas! they are not, and I shall have
to content myself with a stroll in the Gardens. Somehow, after the
great fields and pastures and lofty pine-groves of the country, they
seem shut-in and conventional. Even the trees seem citified and
self-conscious. Indeed, I doubt if they are on speaking terms with
their country cousins! Do you know, I cannot help feeling sorry for
these trees with all their fashionable airs? They are like the people
whom they see every day, who prefer the crowded, noisy city to the
quiet and freedom of the country. They do not even suspect how
circumscribed their lives are. They look down pityingly on the
country-folk, who have never had an opportunity "to see the great
world." Oh my! if they only realized their limitations, they would
flee for their lives to the woods and fields. But what nonsense is
this! You will think I'm pining away for my beloved Wrentham, which is
true in one sense and not in another. I do miss Red Farm and the dear
ones there dreadfully; but I am not unhappy. I have Teacher and my
books, and I have the certainty that something sweet and good will
come to me in this great city, where human beings struggle so bravely
all their lives to wring happiness from cruel circumstances. Anyway, I
am glad to have my share in life, whether it be bright or sad....
TO MRS. WILLIAM THAW Boston, December 6th, 1898. My teacher and I
had a good laugh over the girls' frolic. How funny they must have
looked in their "rough-rider" costumes, mounted upon their fiery
steeds! "Slim" would describe them, if they were anything like the
saw-horses I have seen. What jolly times they must have at —! I
cannot help wishing sometimes that I could have some of the fun that
other girls have. How quickly I should lock up all these mighty
warriors, and hoary sages, and impossible heroes, who are now almost
my only companions; and dance and sing and frolic like other girls!
But I must not waste my time wishing idle wishes; and after all my
ancient friends are very wise and interesting, and I usually enjoy
their society very much indeed. It is only once in a great while that
I feel discontented, and allow myself to wish for things I cannot hope
for in this life. But, as you know, my heart is usually brimful of
happiness. The thought that my dear Heavenly Father is always near,
giving me abundantly of all those things, which truly enrich life and
make it sweet and beautiful, makes every deprivation seem of little
moment compared with the countless blessings I enjoy.
TO MRS. WILLIAM THAW 12 Newbury Street, Boston, December 19th,
1898.
...I realize now what a selfish, greedy girl I was to ask that my
cup of happiness should be filled to overflowing, without stopping to
think how many other people's cups were quite empty. I feel heartily
ashamed of my thoughtlessness. One of the childish illusions, which it
has been hardest for me to get rid of, is that we have only to make
our wishes known in order to have them granted. But I am slowly
learning that there is not happiness enough in the world for everyone
to have all that he wants; and it grieves me to think that I should
have forgotten, even for a moment, that I already have more than my
share, and that like poor little Oliver Twist I should have asked for
"more."...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 12 Newberry Street, Boston. December 22,
[1898] ...I suppose Mr. Keith writes you the work-a-day news. If so,
you know that I have finished all the geometry, and nearly all the
Algebra required for the Harvard examinations, and after Christmas I
shall begin a very careful review of both subjects. You will be glad
to hear that I enjoy Mathematics now. Why, I can do long, complicated
quadratic equations in my head quite easily, and it is great fun! I
think Mr. Keith is a wonderful teacher, and I feel very grateful to
him for having made me see the beauty of Mathematics. Next to my own
dear teacher, he has done more than any one else to enrich and broaden
my mind.
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 12 Newbury Street, Boston, January 17,
1899.
...Have you seen Kipling's "Dreaming True," or "Kitchener's
School?" It is a very strong poem and set me dreaming too. Of course
you have read about the "Gordon Memorial College," which the English
people are to erect at Khartoum. While I was thinking over the
blessings that would come to the people of Egypt through this college,
and eventually to England herself, there came into my heart the strong
desire that my own dear country should in a similar way convert the
terrible loss of her brave sons on the "Maine" into a like blessing to
the people of Cuba. Would a college at Havana not be the noblest and
most enduring monument that could be raised to the brave men of the
"Maine," as well as a source of infinite good to all concerned?
Imagine entering the Havana harbor, and having the pier, where the
"Maine" was anchored on that dreadful night, when she was so
mysteriously destroyed, pointed out to you, and being told that the
great, beautiful building overlooking the spot was the "Maine Memorial
College," erected by the American people, and having for its object
the education both of Cubans and Spaniards! What a glorious triumph
such a monument would be of the best and highest instincts of a
Christian nation! In it there would be no suggestion of hatred or
revenge, nor a trace of the old-time belief that might makes right. On
the other hand, it would be a pledge to the world that we intend to
stand by our declaration of war, and give Cuba to the Cubans, as soon
as we have fitted them to assume the duties and responsibilities of a
self-governing people....
TO MR. JOHN HITZ 12 Newbury Street, Boston, February 3, 1899.
...I had an exceedingly interesting experience last Monday. A kind
friend took me over in the morning to the Boston Art Museum. She had
previously obtained permission from General Loring, Supt. of the
Museum, for me to touch the statues, especially those which
represented my old friends in the "Iliad" and "Aeneid." Was that not
lovely? While I was there, General Loring himself came in, and showed
me some of the most beautiful statues, among which were the Venus of
Medici, the Minerva of the Parthenon, Diana, in her hunting costume,
with her hand on the quiver and a doe by her side, and the unfortunate
Laocoon and his two little sons, struggling in the fearful coils of
two huge serpents, and stretching their arms to the skies with
heart-rending cries. I also saw Apollo Belvidere. He had just slain
the Python and was standing by a great pillar of rock, extending his
graceful hand in triumph over the terrible snake. Oh, he was simply
beautiful! Venus entranced me. She looked as if she had just risen
from the foam of the sea, and her loveliness was like a strain of
heavenly music. I also saw poor Niobe with her youngest child clinging
close to her while she implored the cruel goddess not to kill her
last darling. I almost cried, it was all so real and tragic. General
Loring kindly showed me a copy of one of the wonderful bronze doors of
the Baptistry of Florence, and I felt of the graceful pillars, resting
on the backs of fierce lions. So you see, I had a foretaste of the
pleasure which I hope some day to have of visiting Florence. My friend
said, she would sometime show me the copies of the marbles brought
away by Lord Elgin from the Parthenon. But somehow, I should prefer to
see the originals in the place where Genius meant them to remain, not
only as a hymn of praise to the gods, but also as a monument of the
glory of Greece. It really seems wrong to snatch such sacred things
away from the sanctuary of the Past where they belong....
TO MR. WILLIAM WADE Boston, February 19th, 1899. Why, bless you,
I thought I wrote to you the day after the "Eclogues" arrived, and
told you how glad I was to have them! Perhaps you never got that
letter. At any rate, I thank you, dear friend, for taking such a world
of trouble for me. You will be glad to hear that the books from
England are coming now. I already have the seventh and eighth books of
the "Aeneid" and one book of the "Iliad," all of which is most
fortunate, as I have come almost to the end of my embossed text-books.
It gives me great pleasure to hear how much is being done for the
deaf-blind. The more I learn of them, the more kindness I find. Why,
only a little while ago people thought it quite impossible to teach
the deaf-blind anything; but no sooner was it proved possible than
hundreds of kind, sympathetic hearts were fired with the desire to
help them, and now we see how many of those poor, unfortunate persons
are being taught to see the beauty and reality of life. Love always
finds its way to an imprisoned soul, and leads it out into the world
of freedom and intelligence!
As to the two-handed alphabet, I think it is much easier for those
who have sight than the manual alphabet; for most of the letters look
like the large capitals in books; but I think when it comes to
teaching a deaf-blind person to spell, the manual alphabet is much
more convenient, and less conspicuous....
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 12 Newbury Street, Boston, March 5,
1899.
...I am now sure that I shall be ready for my examinations in
June. There is but one cloud in my sky at present; but that is one
which casts a dark shadow over my life, and makes me very anxious at
times. My teacher's eyes are no better: indeed, I think they grow more
troublesome, though she is very brave and patient, and will not give
up. But it is most distressing to me to feel that she is sacrificing
her sight for me. I feel as if I ought to give up the idea of going to
college altogether: for not all the knowledge in the world could make
me happy, if obtained at such a cost. I do wish, Mrs. Hutton, you
would try to persuade Teacher to take a rest, and have her eyes
treated. She will not listen to me.
I have just had some pictures taken, and if they are good, I would
like to send one to Mr. Rogers, if you think he would like to have it.
I would like so much to show him in some way how deeply I appreciate
all that he is doing for me, and I cannot think of anything better to
do.
Every one here is talking about the Sargent pictures. It is a
wonderful exhibition of portraits, they say. How I wish I had eyes to
see them! How I should delight in their beauty and color! However, I
am glad that I am not debarred from all pleasure in the pictures. I
have at least the satisfaction of seeing them through the eyes of my
friends, which is a real pleasure. I am so thankful that I can rejoice
in the beauties, which my friends gather and put into my hands!
We are all so glad and thankful that Mr. Kipling did not die! I
have his "Jungle-Book" in raised print, and what a splendid,
refreshing book it is! I cannot help feeling as if I knew its gifted
author. What a real, manly, lovable nature his must be!...
TO DR. DAVID H. GREER 12 Newbury Street, Boston, May 8, 1899.
...Each day brings me all that I can possibly accomplish, and each
night brings me rest, and the sweet thought that I am a little nearer
to my goal than ever before. My Greek progresses finely. I have
finished the ninth book of the "Iliad" and am just beginning the
"Odyssey." I am also reading the "Aeneid" and the "Eclogues." Some of
my friends tell me that I am very foolish to give so much time to
Greek and Latin; but I am sure they would not think so, if they
realized what a wonderful world of experience and thought Homer and
Virgil have opened up to me. I think I shall enjoy the "Odyssey" most
of all. The "Iliad" tells of almost nothing but war, and one sometimes
wearies of the clash of spears and the din of battle; but the
"Odyssey" tells of nobler courage—the courage of a soul sore tried,
but steadfast to the end. I often wonder, as I read these splendid
poems why, at the same time that Homer's songs of war fired the Greeks
with valor, his songs of manly virtue did not have a stronger
influence upon the spiritual life of the people. Perhaps the reason
is, that thoughts truly great are like seeds cast into the human mind,
and either lie there unnoticed, or are tossed about and played with,
like toys, until, grown wise through suffering and experience, a race
discovers and cultivates them. Then the world has advanced one step in
its heavenward march.
I am working very hard just now. I intend to take my examinations
in June, and there is a great deal to be done, before I shall feel
ready to meet the ordeal....
You will be glad to hear that my mother, and little sister and
brother are coming north to spend this summer with me. We shall all
live together in a small cottage on one of the lakes at Wrentham,
while my dear teacher takes a much needed rest. She has not had a
vacation for twelve years, think of it, and all that time she has been
the sunshine of my life. Now her eyes are troubling her a great deal,
and we all think she ought to be relieved, for a while, of every care
and responsibility. But we shall not be quite separated; we shall see
each other every day, I hope. And, when July comes, you can think of
me as rowing my dear ones around the lovely lake in the little boat
you gave me, the happiest girl in the world!...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON [Boston] May 28th [1899].
...We have had a hard day. Mr. Keith was here for three hours this
afternoon, pouring a torrent of Latin and Greek into my poor
bewildered brain. I really believe he knows more Latin and Greek
Grammar than Cicero or Homer ever dreamed of! Cicero is splendid, but
his orations are very difficult to translate. I feel ashamed
sometimes, when I make that eloquent man say what sounds absurd or
insipid; but how is a school-girl to interpret such genius? Why, I
should have to be a Cicero to talk like a Cicero!...
Linnie Haguewood is a deaf-blind girl, one of the many whom Mr.
William Wade has helped. She is being educated by Miss Dora Donald
who, at the beginning of her work with her pupil, was supplied by Mr.
Hitz, Superintendent of the Volta Bureau, with copies of all documents
relating to Miss Sullivan's work with Miss Keller.
TO MR. WILLIAM WADE Wrentham, Mass., June 5, 1899.
...Linnie Haguewood's letter, which you sent me some weeks ago,
interested me very much. It seemed to show spontaneity and great
sweetness of character. I was a good deal amused by what she said
about history. I am sorry she does not enjoy it; but I too feel
sometimes how dark, and mysterious and even fearful the history of
old peoples, old religions and old forms of government really is.
Well, I must confess, I do not like the sign-language, and I do
not think it would be of much use to the deaf-blind. I find it very
difficult to follow the rapid motions made by the deaf-mutes, and
besides, signs seem a great hindrance to them in acquiring the power
of using language easily and freely. Why, I find it hard to understand
them sometimes when they spell on their fingers. On the whole, if they
cannot be taught articulation, the manual alphabet seems the best and
most convenient means of communication. At any rate, I am sure the
deaf-blind cannot learn to use signs with any degree of facility.
The other day, I met a deaf Norwegian gentleman, who knows
Ragnhild Kaata and her teacher very well, and we had a very
interesting conversation about her. He said she was very industrious
and happy. She spins, and does a great deal of fancy work, and reads,
and leads a pleasant, useful life. Just think, she cannot use the
manual alphabet! She reads the lips well, and if she cannot understand
a phrase, her friends write it in her hand, and in this way she
converses with strangers. I cannot make out anything written in my
hand, so you see, Ragnhild has got ahead of me in some things. I do
hope I shall see her sometime...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON Wrentham, July 29, 1899.
...I passed in all the subjects I offered, and with credit in
advanced Latin.... But I must confess, I had a hard time on the
second day of my examinations. They would not allow Teacher to read
any of the papers to me; so the papers were copied for me in braille.
This arrangement worked very well in the languages, but not nearly so
well in the Mathematics. Consequently, I did not do so well as I
should have done, if Teacher had been allowed to read the Algebra and
Geometry to me. But you must not think I blame any one. Of course they
did not realize how difficult and perplexing they were making the
examinations for me. How could they—they can see and hear, and I
suppose they could not understand matters from my point of view....
Thus far my summer has been sweeter than anything I can remember.
My mother, and sister and little brother have been here five weeks,
and our happiness knows no bounds. Not only do we enjoy being
together; but we also find our little home most delightful. I do wish
you could see the view of the beautiful lake from our piazza, the
islands looking like little emerald peaks in the golden sunlight, and
the canoes flitting here and there, like autumn leaves in the gentle
breeze, and breathe in the peculiarly delicious fragrance of the
woods, which comes like a murmur from an unknown clime. I cannot help
wondering if it is the same fragrance that greeted the Norsemen long
ago, when, according to tradition, they visited our shores—an odorous
echo of many centuries of silent growth and decay in flower and
tree....
TO MRS. SAMUEL RICHARD FULLER Wrentham, October 20, 1899.
...I suppose it is time for me to tell you something about our
plans for the winter. You know it has long been my ambition to go to
Radcliffe, and receive a degree, as many other girls have done; but
Dean Irwin of Radcliffe, has persuaded me to take a special course for
the present. She said I had already shown the world that I could do
the college work, by passing all my examinations successfully, in
spite of many obstacles. She showed me how very foolish it would be
for me to pursue a four years' course of study at Radcliffe, simply to
be like other girls, when I might better be cultivating whatever
ability I had for writing. She said she did not consider a degree of
any real value, but thought it was much more desirable to do something
original than to waste one's energies only for a degree. Her arguments
seemed so wise and practical, that I could not but yield. I found it
hard, very hard, to give up the idea of going to college; it had been
in my mind ever since I was a little girl; but there is no use doing a
foolish thing, because one has wanted to do it a long time, is there?
But, while we were discussing plans for the winter, a suggestion
which Dr. Hale had made long ago flashed across Teacher's mind—that
I might take courses somewhat like those offered at Radcliffe, under
the instruction of the professors in these courses. Miss Irwin seemed
to have no objection to this proposal, and kindly offered to see the
professors and find out if they would give me lessons. If they will be
so good as to teach me and if we have money enough to do as we have
planned, my studies this year will be English, English Literature of
the Elizabethan period, Latin and German....
TO MR. JOHN HITZ 138 Brattle St., Cambridge, Nov. 11, 1899.
...As to the braille question, I cannot tell how deeply it
distresses me to hear that my statement with regard to the
examinations has been doubted. Ignorance seems to be at the bottom of
all these contradictions. Why, you yourself seem to think that I
taught you American braille, when you do not know a single letter in
the system! I could not help laughing when you said you had been
writing to me in American braille—and there you were writing your
letter in English braille!
The facts about the braille examinations are as follows:
How I passed my Entrance Examinations for Radcliffe College.
On the 29th and 30th of June, 1899, I took my examinations for
Radcliffe College. The first day I had elementary Greek and advanced
Latin, and the second day Geometry, Algebra and advanced Greek.
The college authorities would not permit Miss Sullivan to read the
examination papers to me; so Mr. Eugene C. Vining, one of the
instructors at the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was employed to
copy the papers for me in braille. Mr. Vining was a perfect stranger
to me, and could not communicate with me except by writing in braille.
The Proctor also was a stranger, and did not attempt to communicate
with me in any way; and, as they were both unfamiliar with my speech,
they could not readily understand what I said to them.
However, the braille worked well enough in the languages; but when
it came to Geometry and Algebra, it was different. I was sorely
perplexed, and felt quite discouraged, and wasted much precious time,
especially in Algebra. It is true that I am perfectly familiar with
all literary braille—English, American, and New York Point; but the
method of writing the various signs used in Geometry and Algebra in
the three systems is very different, and two days before the
examinations I knew only the English method. I had used it all through
my school work, and never any other system.
In Geometry, my chief difficulty was, that I had always been
accustomed to reading the propositions in Line Print, or having them
spelled into my hand; and somehow, although the propositions were
right before me, yet the braille confused me, and I could not fix in
my mind clearly what I was reading. But, when I took up Algebra, I had
a harder time still—I was terribly handicapped by my imperfect
knowledge of the notation. The signs, which I had learned the day
before, and which I thought I knew perfectly, confused me.
Consequently my work was painfully slow, and I was obliged to read the
examples over and over before I could form a clear idea what I was
required to do. Indeed, I am not sure now that I read all the signs
correctly, especially as I was much distressed, and found it very hard
to keep my wits about me....
Now there is one more fact, which I wish to state very plainly, in
regard to what Mr. Gilman wrote to you. I never received any direct
instruction in the Gilman School. Miss Sullivan always sat beside me,
and told me what the teachers said. I did teach Miss Hall, my teacher
in Physics, how to write the American braille, but she never gave me
any instruction by means of it, unless a few problems written for
practice, which made me waste much precious time deciphering them, can
be called instruction. Dear Frau Grote learned the manual alphabet,
and used to teach me herself; but this was in private lessons, which
were paid for by my friends. In the German class Miss Sullivan
interpreted to me as well as she could what the teacher said.
Perhaps, if you would send a copy of this to the head of the
Cambridge School, it might enlighten his mind on a few subjects, on
which he seems to be in total darkness just now....
TO MISS MILDRED KELLER 138 Brattle Street, Cambridge, November
26, 1899.
...At last we are settled for the winter, and our work is going
smoothly. Mr. Keith comes every afternoon at four o'clock, and gives
me a "friendly lift" over the rough stretches of road, over which
every student must go. I am studying English history, English
literature, French and Latin, and by and by I shall take up German and
English composition—let us groan! You know, I detest grammar as much
as you do; but I suppose I must go through it if I am to write, just
as we had to get ducked in the lake hundreds of times before we could
swim! In French Teacher is reading "Columba" to me. It is a delightful
novel, full of piquant expressions and thrilling adventures, (don't
dare to blame me for using big words, since you do the same!) and, if
you ever read it, I think you will enjoy it immensely. You are
studying English history, aren't you. O but it's exceedingly
interesting! I'm making quite a thorough study of the Elizabethan
period—of the Reformation, and the Acts of Supremacy and Conformity,
and the maritime discoveries, and all the big things, which the
"deuce" seems to have invented to plague innocent youngsters like
yourself!...
Now we have a swell winter outfit—coats, hats, gowns, flannels
and all. We've just had four lovely dresses made by a French
dressmaker. I have two, of which one has a black silk skirt, with a
black lace net over it, and a waist of white poplin, with turquoise
velvet and chiffon, and cream lace over a satin yoke. The other is
woollen, and of a very pretty green. The waist is trimmed with pink
and green brocaded velvet, and white lace, I think, and has double
reefers on the front, tucked and trimmed with velvet, and also a row
of tiny white buttons. Teacher too has a silk dress. The skirt is
black, while the waist is mostly yellow, trimmed with delicate
lavender chiffon, and black velvet bows and lace. Her other dress is
purple, trimmed with purple velvet, and the waist has a collar of
cream lace. So you may imagine that we look quite like peacocks, only
we've no trains....
A week ago yesterday there was [a] great football game between
Harvard and Yale, and there was tremendous excitement here. We could
hear the yells of the boys and the cheers of the lookers-on as plainly
in our room as if we had been on the field. Colonel Roosevelt was
there, on Harvard's side; but bless you, he wore a white sweater, and
no crimson that we know of! There were about twenty-five thousand
people at the game, and, when we went out, the noise was so terrific,
we nearly jumped out of our skins, thinking it was the din of war, and
not of a football game that we heard. But, in spite of all their wild
efforts, neither side was scored, and we all laughed and said, "Oh,
well now the pot can't call the kettle black!"...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 559 Madison Avenue, New York, January 2,
1900.
...We have been here a week now, and are going to stay with Miss
Rhoades until Saturday. We are enjoying every moment of our visit,
every one is so good to us. We have seen many of our old friends, and
made some new ones. We dined with the Rogers last Friday, and oh, they
were so kind to us! The thought of their gentle courtesy and genuine
kindness brings a warm glow of joy and gratitude to my heart. I have
seen Dr. Greer too. He has such a kind heart! I love him more than
ever. We went to St. Bartholomew's Sunday, and I have not felt so much
at home in a church since dear Bishop Brooks died. Dr. Greer read so
slowly, that my teacher could tell me every word. His people must have
wondered at his unusual deliberation. After the service he asked Mr.
Warren, the organist to play for me. I stood in the middle of the
church, where the vibrations from the great organ were strongest, and
I felt the mighty waves of sound beat against me, as the great billows
beat against a little ship at sea.
TO MR. JOHN HITZ 138 Brattle Street, Cambridge, Feb. 3, 1900.
...My studies are more interesting than ever. In Latin, I am
reading Horace's odes. Although I find them difficult to translate,
yet I think they are the loveliest pieces of Latin poetry I have read
or shall ever read. In French we have finished "Colomba," and I am
reading "Horace" by Corneille and La Fontaine's fables, both of which
are in braille. I have not gone far in either; but I know I shall
enjoy the fables, they are so delightfully written, and give such good
lessons in a simple and yet attractive way. I do not think I have told
you that my dear teacher is reading "The Faery Queen" to me. I am
afraid I find fault with the poem as much as I enjoy it. I do not care
much for the allegories, indeed I often find them tiresome, and I
cannot help thinking that Spenser's world of knights, paynims,
fairies, dragons and all sorts of strange creatures is a somewhat
grotesque and amusing world; but the poem itself is lovely and as
musical as a running brook.
I am now the proud owner of about fifteen new books, which we
ordered from Louisville. Among them are "Henry Esmond," "Bacon's
Essays" and extracts from "English Literature." Perhaps next week I
shall have some more books, "The Tempest," "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
and possibly some selections from Green's history of England. Am I not
very fortunate?
I am afraid this letter savors too much of books—but really they
make up my whole life these days, and I scarcely see or hear of
anything else! I do believe I sleep on books every night! You know a
student's life is of necessity somewhat circumscribed and narrow and
crowds out almost everything that is not in books....
TO THE CHAIRMAN OF THE ACADEMIC BOARD OF RADCLIFFE COLLEGE 138
Brattle Street, Cambridge, Mass., May 5, 1900. Dear Sir: As an aid
to me in determining my plans for study the coming year, I apply to
you for information as to the possibility of my taking the regular
courses in Radcliffe College.
Since receiving my certificate of admission to Radcliffe last
July, I have been studying with a private tutor, Horace, Aeschylus,
French, German, Rhetoric, English History, English Literature and
Criticism, and English composition.
In college I should wish to continue most, if not all of these
subjects. The conditions under which I work require the presence of
Miss Sullivan, who has been my teacher and companion for thirteen
years, as an interpreter of oral speech and as a reader of examination
papers. In college she, or possibly in some subjects some one else,
would of necessity be with me in the lecture-room and at recitations.
I should do all my written work on a typewriter, and if a Professor
could not understand my speech, I could write out my answers to his
questions and hand them to him after the recitation.
Is it possible for the College to accommodate itself to these
unprecedented conditions, so as to enable me to pursue my studies at
Radcliffe? I realize that the obstacles in the way of my receiving a
college education are very great—to others they may seem
insurmountable; but, dear Sir, a true soldier does not acknowledge
defeat before the battle.
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 38 Brattle Street, Cambridge, June 9,
1900.
...I have not yet heard from the Academic Board in reply to my
letter; but I sincerely hope they will answer favorably. My friends
think it very strange that they should hesitate so long, especially
when I have not asked them to simplify my work in the least, but only
to modify it so as to meet the existing circumstances. Cornell has
offered to make arrangements suited to the conditions under which I
work, if I should decide to go to that college, and the University of
Chicago has made a similar offer, but I am afraid if I went to any
other college, it would be thought that I did not pass my examinations
for Radcliffe satisfactorily....
In the fall Miss Keller entered Radcliffe College.
TO MR. JOHN HITZ 14 Coolidge Ave., Cambridge, Nov. 26, 1900.
...— has already communicated with you in regard to her and my
plan of establishing an institution for deaf and blind children. At
first I was most enthusiastic in its support, and I never dreamed that
any grave objections could be raised except indeed by those who are
hostile to Teacher, but now, after thinking most SERIOUSLY and
consulting my friends, I have decided that —'s plan is by no means
feasible. In my eagerness to make it possible for deaf and blind
children to have the same advantages that I have had, I quite forgot
that there might be many obstacles in the way of my accomplishing
anything like what — proposed.
My friends thought we might have one or two pupils in our own
home, thereby securing to me the advantage of being helpful to others
without any of the disadvantages of a large school. They were very
kind; but I could not help feeling that they spoke more from a
business than a humanitarian point of view. I am sure they did not
quite understand how passionately I desire that all who are afflicted
like myself shall receive their rightful inheritance of thought,
knowledge and love. Still I could not shut my eyes to the force and
weight of their arguments, and I saw plainly that I must abandon —'s
scheme as impracticable. They also said that I ought to appoint an
advisory committee to control my affairs while I am at Radcliffe. I
considered this suggestion carefully, then I told Mr. Rhoades that I
should be proud and glad to have wise friends to whom I could always
turn for advice in all important matters. For this committee I chose
six, my mother, Teacher, because she is like a mother to me, Mrs.
Hutton, Mr. Rhoades, Dr. Greer and Mr. Rogers, because it is they who
have supported me all these years and made it possible for me to enter
college. Mrs. Hutton had already written to mother, asking her to
telegraph if she was willing for me to have other advisers besides
herself and Teacher. This morning we received word that mother had
given her consent to this arrangement. Now it remains for me to write
to Dr. Greer and Mr. Rogers....
We had a long talk with Dr. Bell. Finally he proposed a plan which
delighted us all beyond words. He said that it was a gigantic blunder
to attempt to found a school for deaf and blind children, because then
they would lose the most precious opportunities of entering into the
fuller, richer, freer life of seeing and hearing children. I had had
misgivings on this point; but I could not see how we were to help it.
However Mr. Bell suggested that — and all her friends who are
interested in her scheme should organize an association for the
promotion of the education of the deaf and blind, Teacher and myself
being included of course. Under his plan they were to appoint Teacher
to train others to instruct deaf and blind children in their own
homes, just as she had taught me. Funds were to be raised for the
teachers' lodgings and also for their salaries. At the same time Dr.
Bell added that I could rest content and fight my way through
Radcliffe in competition with seeing and hearing girls, while the
great desire of my heart was being fulfilled. We clapped our hands
and shouted; — went away beaming with pleasure, and Teacher and I
felt more light of heart than we had for sometime. Of course we can do
nothing just now; but the painful anxiety about my college work and
the future welfare of the deaf and blind has been lifted from our
minds. Do tell me what you think about Dr. Bell's suggestion. It seems
most practical and wise to me; but I must know all that there is to be
known about it before I speak or act in the matter....
TO MR. JOHN D. WRIGHT Cambridge, December 9, 1900. Do you think
me a villain and—I can't think of a word bad enough to express your
opinion of me, unless indeed horse-thief will answer the purpose. Tell
me truly, do you think me as bad as that? I hope not; for I have
thought many letters to you which never got on paper, and I am
delighted to get your good letter, yes, I really was, and I intended
to answer it immediately, but the days slip by unnoticed when one is
busy, and I have been VERY busy this fall. You must believe that.
Radcliffe girls are always up to their ears in work. If you doubt it,
you'd better come and see for yourself.
Yes, I am taking the regular college course for a degree. When I
am a B.A., I suppose you will not dare call me a villain! I am
studying English—Sophomore English, if you please, (though I can't
see that it is different from just plain English) German, French and
History. I'm enjoying my work even more than I expected to, which is
another way of saying that I'm glad I came. It is hard, very hard at
times; but it hasn't swamped me yet. No, I am not studying
Mathematics, or Greek or Latin either. The courses at Radcliffe are
elective, only certain courses in English are prescribed. I passed off
my English and advanced French before I entered college, and I choose
the courses I like best. I don't however intend to give up Latin and
Greek entirely. Perhaps I shall take up these studies later; but I've
said goodbye to Mathematics forever, and I assure you, I was delighted
to see the last of those horrid goblins! I hope to obtain my degree
in four years; but I'm not very particular about that. There's no
great hurry, and I want to get as much as possible out of my studies.
Many of my friends would be well pleased if I would take two or even
one course a year, but I rather object to spending the rest of my life
in college....
TO MR. WILLIAM WADE 14 Coolidge Avenue, Cambridge, December 9,
1900.
...Since you are so much interested in the deaf and blind, I will
begin by telling you of several cases I have come across lately. Last
October I heard of an unusually bright little girl in Texas. Her name
is Ruby Rice, and she is thirteen years old, I think. She has never
been taught; but they say she can sew and likes to help others in this
sort of work. Her sense of smell is wonderful. Why, when she enters a
store, she will go straight to the showcases, and she can also
distinguish her own things. Her parents are very anxious indeed to
find a teacher for her. They have also written to Mr. Hitz about her.
I also know a child at the Institution for the Deaf in
Mississippi. Her name is Maud Scott, and she is six years old. Miss
Watkins, the lady who has charge of her wrote me a most interesting
letter. She said that Maud was born deaf and lost her sight when she
was only three months old, and that when she went to the Institution a
few weeks ago, she was quite helpless. She could not even walk and had
very little use of her hands. When they tried to teach her to string
beads, her little hands fell to her side. Evidently her sense of touch
has not been developed, and as yet she can walk only when she holds
some one's hand; but she seems to be an exceedingly bright child. Miss
Watkins adds that she is very pretty. I have written to her that when
Maud learns to read, I shall have many stories to send her. The dear,
sweet little girl, it makes my heart ache to think how utterly she is
cut off from all that is good and desirable in life. But Miss Watkins
seems to be just the kind of teacher she needs.
I was in New York not long ago and I saw Miss Rhoades, who told me
that she had seen Katie McGirr. She said the poor young girl talked
and acted exactly like a little child. Katie played with Miss
Rhoades's rings and took them away, saying with a merry laugh, "You
shall not have them again!" She could only understand Miss Rhoades
when she talked about the simplest things. The latter wished to send
her some books; but she could not find anything simple enough for her!
She said Katie was very sweet indeed, but sadly in need of proper
instruction. I was much surprised to hear all this; for I judged from
your letters that Katie was a very precocious girl....
A few days ago I met Tommy Stringer in the railroad station at
Wrentham. He is a great, strong boy now, and he will soon need a man
to take care of him; he is really too big for a lady to manage. He
goes to the public school, I hear, and his progress is astonishing,
they say; but it doesn't show as yet in his conversation, which is
limited to "Yes" and "No."...
TO MR. CHARLES T. COPELAND December 20, 1900. My dear Mr.
Copeland; I venture to write to you because I am afraid that if I do
not explain why I have stopped writing themes, you will think I have
become discouraged, or perhaps that to escape criticism I have beat a
cowardly retreat from your class. Please do not think either of these
very unpleasant thoughts. I am not discouraged, nor am I afraid. I am
confident that I could go on writing themes like those I have written,
and I suppose I should get through the course with fairly good marks;
but this sort of literary patch-work has lost all interest for me. I
have never been satisfied with my work; but I never knew what my
difficulty was until you pointed it out to me. When I came to your
class last October, I was trying with all my might to be like
everybody else, to forget as entirely as possible my limitations and
peculiar environment. Now, however, I see the folly of attempting to
hitch one's wagon to a star with harness that does not belong to it.
I have always accepted other peoples experiences and observations
as a matter of course. It never occurred to me that it might be worth
while to make my own observations and describe the experiences
peculiarly my own. Henceforth I am resolved to be myself, to live my
own life and write my own thoughts when I have any. When I have
written something that seems to be fresh and spontaneous and worthy of
your criticisms, I will bring it to you, if I may, and if you think it
good, I shall be happy; but if your verdict is unfavorable, I shall
try again and yet again until I have succeeded in pleasing you...
TO MRS. LAURENCE HUTTON 14 Coolidge Avenue, Cambridge, December
27, 1900.
...So you read about our class luncheon in the papers? How in the
world do the papers find out everything, I wonder. I am sure no
reporter was present. I had a splendid time; the toasts and speeches
were great fun. I only spoke a few words, as I did not know I was
expected to speak until a few minutes before I was called upon. I
think I wrote you that I had been elected Vice-President of the
Freshman Class of Radcliffe.
Did I tell you in my last letter that I had a new dress, a real
party dress with low neck and short sleeves and quite a train? It is
pale blue, trimmed with chiffon of the same color. I have worn it only
once, but then I felt that Solomon in all his glory was not to be
compared with me! Anyway, he certainly never had a dress like mine!...
A gentleman in Philadelphia has just written to my teacher about a
deaf and blind child in Paris, whose parents are Poles. The mother is
a physician and a brilliant woman, he says. This little boy could
speak two or three languages before he lost his hearing through
sickness, and he is now only about five years old. Poor little fellow,
I wish I could do something for him; but he is so young, my teacher
thinks it would be too bad to separate him from his mother. I have had
a letter from Mrs. Thaw with regard to the possibility of doing
something for these children. Dr. Bell thinks the present census will
show that there are more than a thousand in the United States alone
[The number of deaf-blind young enough to be benefited by education is
not so large as this; but the education of this class of defectives
has been neglected.]; and Mrs. Thaw thinks if all my friends were to
unite their efforts, "it would be an easy matter to establish at the
beginning of this new century a new line upon which mercy might
travel," and the rescue of these unfortunate children could be
accomplished....
TO MR. WILLIAM WADE Cambridge, February 2, 1901.
...By the way, have you any specimens of English braille
especially printed for those who have lost their sight late in life
or have fingers hardened by long toil, so that their touch is less
sensitive than that of other blind people? I read an account of such a
system in one of my English magazines, and I am anxious to know more
about it. If it is as efficient as they say, I see no reason why
English braille should not be adopted by the blind of all countries.
Why, it is the print that can be most readily adapted to many
different languages. Even Greek can be embossed in it, as you know.
Then, too, it will be rendered still more efficient by the
"interpointing system," which will save an immense amount of space and
paper. There is nothing more absurd, I think, than to have five or six
different prints for the blind....
This letter was written in response to a tentative offer from the
editor of The Great Round World to have the magazine published in
raised type for the blind, if enough were willing to subscribe. It is
evident that the blind should have a good magazine, not a special
magazine for the blind, but one of our best monthlies, printed in
embossed letters. The blind alone could not support it, but it would
not take very much money to make up the additional expense.
To THE GREAT ROUND WORLD Cambridge, Feb. 16, 1901. The Great
Round World, New York City. Gentlemen: I have only to-day found time
to reply to your interesting letter. A little bird had already sung
the good news in my ear; but it was doubly pleasant to have it
straight from you.
It would be splendid to have The Great Round World printed in
"language that can be felt." I doubt if any one who enjoys the
wondrous privilege of seeing can have any conception of the boon such
a publication as you contemplate would be to the sightless. To be able
to read for one's self what is being willed, thought and done in the
world—the world in whose joys and sorrows, failures and successes one
feels the keenest interest—that would indeed be a happiness too deep
for words. I trust that the effort of The Great Round World to bring
light to those who sit in darkness will receive the encouragement and
support it so richly deserves.
I doubt, however, if the number of subscribers to an embossed
edition of The Great Round World would ever be large; for I am told
that the blind as a class are poor. But why should not the friends of
the blind assist The Great Round World, if necessary? Surely there are
hearts and hands ever ready to make it possible for generous
intentions to be wrought into noble deeds.
Wishing you godspeed in an undertaking that is very dear to my
heart, I am, etc.
TO MISS NINA RHOADES Cambridge, Sept. 25, 1901.
...We remained in Halifax until about the middle of August.... Day
after day the Harbor, the warships, and the park kept us busy thinking
and feeling and enjoying.... When the Indiana visited Halifax, we were
invited to go on board, and she sent her own launch for us. I touched
the immense cannon, read with my fingers several of the names of the
Spanish ships that were captured at Santiago, and felt the places
where she had been pierced with shells. The Indiana was the largest
and finest ship in the Harbor, and we felt very proud of her.
After we left Halifax, we visited Dr. Bell at Cape Breton. He has
a charming, romantic house on a mountain called Beinn Bhreagh, which
overlooks the Bras d'Or Lake....
Dr. Bell told me many interesting things about his work. He had
just constructed a boat that could be propelled by a kite with the
wind in its favor, and one day he tried experiments to see if he could
steer the kite against the wind. I was there and really helped him fly
the kites. On one of them I noticed that the strings were of wire, and
having had some experience in bead work, I said I thought they would
break. Dr. Bell said "No!" with great confidence, and the kite was
sent up. It began to pull and tug, and lo, the wires broke, and off
went the great red dragon, and poor Dr. Bell stood looking forlornly
after it. After that he asked me if the strings were all right and
changed them at once when I answered in the negative. Altogether we
had great fun....
TO DR. EDWARD EVERETT HALE [Read by Dr. Hale at the celebration of
the centenary of Dr. Samuel Gridley Howe, at Tremont Temple, Boston,
Nov. 11, 1901.] Cambridge, Nov. 10, 1901. My teacher and I expect to
be present at the meeting tomorrow in commemoration of the one
hundredth anniversary of Dr. Howe's birth; but I very much doubt if we
shall have an opportunity to speak with you; so I am writing now to
tell you how delighted I am that you are to speak at the meeting,
because I feel that you, better than any one I know will express the
heartfelt gratitude of those who owe their education, their
opportunities, their happiness to him who opened the eyes of the blind
and gave the dumb lip language.
Sitting here in my study, surrounded by my books, enjoying the
sweet and intimate companionship of the great and the wise, I am
trying to realize what my life might have been, if Dr. Howe had
failed in the great task God gave him to perform. If he had not taken
upon himself the responsibility of Laura Bridgman's education and led
her out of the pit of Acheron back to her human inheritance, should I
be a sophomore at Radcliffe College to-day—who can say? But it is
idle to speculate about what might have been in connection with Dr.
Howe's great achievement.
I think only those who have escaped that death-in-life existence,
from which Laura Bridgman was rescued, can realize how isolated, how
shrouded in darkness, how cramped by its own impotence is a soul
without thought or faith or hope. Words are powerless to describe the
desolation of that prison-house, or the joy of the soul that is
delivered out of its captivity. When we compare the needs and
helplessness of the blind before Dr. Howe began his work, with their
present usefulness and independence, we realize that great things have
been done in our midst. What if physical conditions have built up high
walls about us? Thanks to our friend and helper, our world lies
upward; the length and breadth and sweep of the heavens are ours!
It is pleasant to think that Dr. Howe's noble deeds will receive
their due tribute of affection and gratitude, in the city, which was
the scene of his great labors and splendid victories for humanity.
With kind greetings, in which my teacher joins me, I am
Affectionately your friend,
HELEN A. KELLER.
TO THE HON. GEORGE FRISBIE HOAR Cambridge, Mass., November 25,
1901. My Dear Senator Hoar:— I am glad you liked my letter about Dr.
Howe. It was written out of my heart, and perhaps that is why it met a
sympathetic response in other hearts. I will ask Dr. Hale to lend me
the letter, so that I can make a copy of it for you.
You see, I use a typewriter—it is my right hand man, so to speak.
Without it I do not see how I could go to college. I write all my
themes and examinations on it, even Greek. Indeed, it has only one
drawback, and that probably is regarded as an advantage by the
professors; it is that one's mistakes may be detected at a glance; for
there is no chance to hide them in illegible writing.
I know you will be amused when I tell you that I am deeply
interested in politics. I like to have the papers read to me, and I
try to understand the great questions of the day; but I am afraid my
knowledge is very unstable; for I change my opinions with every new
book I read. I used to think that when I studied Civil Government and
Economics, all my difficulties and perplexities would blossom into
beautiful certainties; but alas, I find that there are more tares than
wheat in these fertile fields of knowledge....
Part III: A Supplementary Account of Helen Keller's Life and
Education
CHAPTER I. The Writing of the Book
It is fitting that Miss Keller's "Story of My Life" should appear
at this time. What is remarkable in her career is already
accomplished, and whatever she may do in the future will be but a
relatively slight addition to the success which distinguishes her
now. That success has just been assured, for it is her work at
Radcliffe during the last two years which has shown that she can
carry her education as far as if she were studying under normal
conditions. Whatever doubts Miss Keller herself may have had are now
at rest.
Several passages of her autobiography, as it appeared in serial
form, have been made the subject of a grave editorial in a Boston
newspaper, in which the writer regretted Miss Keller's apparent
disillusionment in regard to the value of her college life. He quoted
the passages in which she explains that college is not the "universal
Athens" she had hoped to find, and cited the cases of other remarkable
persons whose college life had proved disappointing. But it is to be
remembered that Miss Keller has written many things in her
autobiography for the fun of writing them, and the disillusion, which
the writer of the editorial took seriously, is in great part humorous.
Miss Keller does not suppose her views to be of great importance, and
when she utters her opinions on important matters she takes it for
granted that her reader will receive them as the opinions of a junior
in college, not of one who writes with the wisdom of maturity. For
instance, it surprised her that some people were annoyed at what she
said about the Bible, and she was amused that they did not see, what
was plain enough, that she had been obliged to read the whole Bible in
a course in English literature, not as a religious duty put upon her
by her teacher or her parents.
I ought to apologize to the reader and to Miss Keller for
presuming to say what her subject matter is worth, but one more
explanation is necessary. In her account of her early education Miss
Keller is not giving a scientifically accurate record of her life, nor
even of the important events. She cannot know in detail how she was
taught, and her memory of her childhood is in some cases an idealized
memory of what she has learned later from her teacher and others. She
is less able to recall events of fifteen years ago than most of us are
to recollect our childhood. That is why her teacher's records may be
found to differ in some particulars from Miss Keller's account.
The way in which Miss Keller wrote her story shows, as nothing
else can show, the difficulties she had to overcome. When we write,
we can go back over our work, shuffle the pages, interline, rearrange,
see how the paragraphs look in proof, and so construct the whole work
before the eye, as an architect constructs his plans. When Miss Keller
puts her work in typewritten form, she cannot refer to it again unless
some one reads it to her by means of the manual alphabet.
This difficulty is in part obviated by the use of her braille
machine, which makes a manuscript that she can read; but as her work
must be put ultimately in typewritten form, and as a braille machine
is somewhat cumbersome, she has got into the habit of writing directly
on her typewriter. She depends so little on her braille manuscript,
that, when she began to write her story more than a year ago and had
put in braille a hundred pages of material and notes, she made the
mistake of destroying these notes before she had finished her
manuscript. Thus she composed much of her story on the typewriter, and
in constructing it as a whole depended on her memory to guide her in
putting together the detached episodes, which Miss Sullivan read over
to her.
Last July, when she had finished under great pressure of work her
final chapter, she set to work to rewrite the whole story. Her good
friend, Mr. William Wade, had a complete braille copy made for her
from the magazine proofs. Then for the first time she had her whole
manuscript under her finger at once. She saw imperfections in the
arrangement of paragraphs and the repetition of phrases. She saw, too,
that her story properly fell into short chapters and redivided it.
Partly from temperament, partly from the conditions of her work,
she has written rather a series of brilliant passages than a unified
narrative; in point of fact, several paragraphs of her story are short
themes written in her English courses, and the small unit sometimes
shows its original limits.
In rewriting the story, Miss Keller made corrections on separate
pages on her braille machine. Long corrections she wrote out on her
typewriter, with catch-words to indicate where they belonged. Then she
read from her braille copy the entire story, making corrections as she
read, which were taken down on the manuscript that went to the
printer. During this revision she discussed questions of subject
matter and phrasing. She sat running her finger over the braille
manuscript, stopping now and then to refer to the braille notes on
which she had indicated her corrections, all the time reading aloud to
verify the manuscript.
She listened to criticism just as any author listens to his
friends or his editor. Miss Sullivan, who is an excellent critic,
made suggestions at many points in the course of composition and
revision. One newspaper suggested that Miss Keller had been led into
writing the book and had been influenced to put certain things into it
by zealous friends. As a matter of fact, most of the advice she has
received and heeded has led to excisions rather than to additions. The
book is Miss Keller's and is final proof of her independent power.
CHAPTER II. PERSONALITY
Mark Twain has said that the two most interesting characters of
the nineteenth century are Napoleon and Helen Keller. The admiration
with which the world has regarded her is more than justified by what
she has done. No one can tell any great truth about her which has not
already been written, and all that I can do is to give a few more
facts about Miss Keller's work and add a little to what is known of
her personality.
Miss Keller is tall and strongly built, and has always had good
health. She seems to be more nervous than she really is, because she
expresses more with her hands than do most English-speaking people.
One reason for this habit of gesture is that her hands have been so
long her instruments of communication that they have taken to
themselves the quick shiftings of the eye, and express some of the
things that we say in a glance. All deaf people naturally gesticulate.
Indeed, at one time it was believed that the best way for them to
communicate was through systematized gestures, the sign language
invented by the Abbe de l'Epee.
When Miss Keller speaks, her face is animated and expresses all
the modes of her thought—the expressions that make the features
eloquent and give speech half its meaning. On the other hand she does
not know another's expression. When she is talking with an intimate
friend, however, her hand goes quickly to her friend's face to see, as
she says, "the twist of the mouth." In this way she is able to get the
meaning of those half sentences which we complete unconsciously from
the tone of the voice or the twinkle of the eye.
Her memory of people is remarkable. She remembers the grasp of
fingers she has held before, all the characteristic tightening of the
muscles that makes one person's handshake different from that of
another.
The trait most characteristic, perhaps, of Miss Keller (and also
of Miss Sullivan) is humour. Skill in the use of words and her habit
of playing with them make her ready with mots and epigrams.
Some one asked her if she liked to study.
"Yes," she replied, "but I like to play also, and I feel sometimes
as if I were a music box with all the play shut up inside me."
When she met Dr. Furness, the Shakespearean scholar, he warned her
not to let the college professors tell her too many assumed facts
about the life of Shakespeare; all we know, he said, is that
Shakespeare was baptized, married, and died.
"Well," she replied, "he seems to have done all the essential
things."
Once a friend who was learning the manual alphabet kept making
"g," which is like the hand of a sign-post, for "h," which is made
with two fingers extended. Finally Miss Keller told him to "fire both
barrels."
Mr. Joseph Jefferson was once explaining to Miss Keller what the
bumps on her head meant.
"That," he said, "is your prize-fighting bump."
"I never fight," she replied, "except against difficulties."
Miss Keller's humour is that deeper kind of humour which is
courage.
Thirteen years ago she made up her mind to learn to speak, and she
gave her teacher no rest until she was allowed to take lessons,
although wise people, even Miss Sullivan, the wisest of them all,
regarded it as an experiment unlikely to succeed and almost sure to
make her unhappy. It was this same perseverance that made her go to
college. After she had passed her examinations and received her
certificate of admission, she was advised by the Dean of Radcliffe and
others not to go on. She accordingly delayed a year. But she was not
satisfied until she had carried out her purpose and entered college.
Her life has been a series of attempts to do whatever other people
do, and to do it as well. Her success has been complete, for in trying
to be like other people she has come most fully to be herself. Her
unwillingness to be beaten has developed her courage. Where another
can go, she can go. Her respect for physical bravery is like
Stevenson's—the boy's contempt for the fellow who cries, with a touch
of young bravado in it. She takes tramps in the woods, plunging
through the underbrush, where she is scratched and bruised; yet you
could not get her to admit that she is hurt, and you certainly could
not persuade her to stay at home next time.
So when people try experiments with her, she displays a
sportsmanlike determination to win in any test, however unreasonable,
that one may wish to put her to.
If she does not know the answer to a question, she guesses with
mischievous assurance. Ask her the colour of your coat (no blind
person can tell colour), she will feel it and say "black." If it
happens to be blue, and you tell her so triumphantly, she is likely
to answer, "Thank you. I am glad you know. Why did you ask me?"
Her whimsical and adventuresome spirit puts her so much on her
mettle that she makes rather a poor subject for the psychological
experimenter. Moreover, Miss Sullivan does not see why Miss Keller
should be subjected to the investigation of the scientist, and has not
herself made many experiments. When a psychologist asked her if Miss
Keller spelled on her fingers in her sleep, Miss Sullivan replied that
she did not think it worth while to sit up and watch, such matters
were of so little consequence.
Miss Keller likes to be part of the company. If any one whom she
is touching laughs at a joke, she laughs, too, just as if she had
heard it. If others are aglow with music, a responding glow, caught
sympathetically, shines in her face. Indeed, she feels the movements
of Miss Sullivan so minutely that she responds to her moods, and so
she seems to know what is going on, even though the conversation has
not been spelled to her for some time. In the same way her response to
music is in part sympathetic, although she enjoys it for its own sake.
Music probably can mean little to her but beat and pulsation. She
cannot sing and she cannot play the piano, although, as some early
experiments show, she could learn mechanically to beat out a tune on
the keys. Her enjoyment of music, however, is very genuine, for she
has a tactile recognition of sound when the waves of air beat against
her. Part of her experience of the rhythm of music comes, no doubt,
from the vibration of solid objects which she is touching: the floor,
or, what is more evident, the case of the piano, on which her hand
rests. But she seems to feel the pulsation of the air itself. When the
organ was played for her in St. Bartholomew's, the whole building
shook with the great pedal notes, but that does not altogether account
for what she felt and enjoyed. The vibration of the air as the organ
notes swelled made her sway in answer. Sometimes she puts her hand on
a singer's throat to feel the muscular thrill and contraction, and
from this she gets genuine pleasure. No one knows, however, just what
her sensations are. It is amusing to read in one of the magazines of
1895 that Miss Keller "has a just and intelligent appreciation of
different composers from having literally felt their music, Schumann
being her favourite." If she knows the difference between Schumann and
Beethoven, it is because she has read it, and if she has read it, she
remembers it and can tell any one who asks her.
Miss Keller's effort to reach out and meet other people on their
own intellectual ground has kept her informed of daily affairs. When
her education became more systematic and she was busy with books, it
would have been very easy for Miss Sullivan to let her draw into
herself, if she had been so inclined. But every one who has met her
has given his best ideas to her and she has taken them. If, in the
course of a conversation, the friend next to her has ceased for some
moments to spell into her hand, the question comes inevitably, "What
are you talking about?" Thus she picks up the fragments of the daily
intercourse of normal people, so that her detailed information is
singularly full and accurate. She is a good talker on the little
occasional affairs of life.
Much of her knowledge comes to her directly. When she is out
walking she often stops suddenly, attracted by the odour of a bit of
shrubbery. She reaches out and touches the leaves, and the world of
growing things is hers, as truly as it is ours, to enjoy while she
holds the leaves in her fingers and smells the blossoms, and to
remember when the walk is done.
When she is in a new place, especially an interesting place like
Niagara, whoever accompanies her—usually, of course, Miss
Sullivan—is kept busy giving her an idea of visible details. Miss
Sullivan, who knows her pupil's mind, selects from the passing
landscape essential elements, which give a certain clearness to Miss
Keller's imagined view of an outer world that to our eyes is confused
and overloaded with particulars. If her companion does not give her
enough details, Miss Keller asks questions until she has completed the
view to her satisfaction.
She does not see with her eyes, but through the inner faculty to
serve which eyes were given to us. When she returns from a walk and
tells some one about it, her descriptions are accurate and vivid. A
comparative experience drawn from written descriptions and from her
teacher's words has kept her free from errors in her use of terms of
sound and vision. True, her view of life is highly coloured and full
of poetic exaggeration; the universe, as she sees it, is no doubt a
little better than it really is. But her knowledge of it is not so
incomplete as one might suppose. Occasionally she astonishes you by
ignorance of some fact which no one happens to have told her; for
instance, she did not know, until her first plunge into the sea, that
it is salt. Many of the detached incidents and facts of our daily life
pass around and over her unobserved; but she has enough detailed
acquaintance with the world to keep her view of it from being
essentially defective.
Most that she knows at first hand comes from her sense of touch.
This sense is not, however, so finely developed as in some other
blind people. Laura Bridgman could tell minute shades of difference
in the size of thread, and made beautiful lace. Miss Keller used to
knit and crochet, but she has had better things to do. With her varied
powers and accomplishments, her sense of touch has not been used
enough to develop it very far beyond normal acuteness. A friend tried
Miss Keller one day with several coins. She was slower than he
expected her to be in identifying them by their relative weight and
size. But it should be said she almost never handles money—one of the
many sordid and petty details of life, by the way, which she has been
spared.
She recognizes the subject and general intention of a statuette
six inches high. Anything shallower than a half-inch bas-relief is a
blank to her, so far as it expresses an idea of beauty. Large statues,
of which she can feel the sweep of line with her whole hand, she knows
in their higher esthetic value. She suggests herself that she can know
them better than we do, because she can get the true dimensions and
appreciate more immediately the solid nature of a sculptured figure.
When she was at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston she stood on a
step-ladder and let both hands play over the statues. When she felt a
bas-relief of dancing girls she asked, "Where are the singers?" When
she found them she said, "One is silent." The lips of the singer were
closed.
It is, however, in her daily life that one can best measure the
delicacy of her senses and her manual skill. She seems to have very
little sense of direction. She gropes her way without much certainty
in rooms where she is quite familiar. Most blind people are aided by
the sense of sound, so that a fair comparison is hard to make, except
with other deaf-blind persons. Her dexterity is not notable either in
comparison with the normal person, whose movements are guided by the
eye, or, I am told, with other blind people. She has practised no
single constructive craft which would call for the use of her hands.
When she was twelve, her friend Mr. Albert H. Munsell, the artist, let
her experiment with a wax tablet and a stylus. He says that she did
pretty well and managed to make, after models, some conventional
designs of the outlines of leaves and rosettes. The only thing she
does which requires skill with the hands is her work on the
typewriter. Although she has used the typewriter since she was eleven
years old, she is rather careful than rapid. She writes with fair
speed and absolute sureness. Her manuscripts seldom contain
typographical errors when she hands them to Miss Sullivan to read.
Her typewriter has no special attachments. She keeps the relative
position of the keys by an occasional touch of the little finger on
the outer edge of the board.
Miss Keller's reading of the manual alphabet by her sense of touch
seems to cause some perplexity. Even people who know her fairly well
have written in the magazines about Miss Sullivan's "mysterious
telegraphic communications" with her pupil. The manual alphabet is
that in use among all educated deaf people. Most dictionaries contain
an engraving of the manual letters. The deaf person with sight looks
at the fingers of his companion, but it is also possible to feel them.
Miss Keller puts her fingers lightly over the hand of one who is
talking to her and gets the words as rapidly as they can be spelled.
As she explains, she is not conscious of the single letters or of
separate words. Miss Sullivan and others who live constantly with the
deaf can spell very rapidly—fast enough to get a slow lecture, not
fast enough to get every word of a rapid speaker.
Anybody can learn the manual letters in a few minutes, use them
slowly in a day, and in thirty days of constant use talk to Miss
Keller or any other deaf person without realizing what his fingers
are doing. If more people knew this, and the friends and relatives of
deaf children learned the manual alphabet at once the deaf all over
the world would be happier and better educated.
Miss Keller reads by means of embossed print or the various kinds
of braille. The ordinary embossed book is made with roman letters,
both small letters and capitals. These letters are of simple, square,
angular design. The small letters are about three-sixteenths of an
inch high, and are raised from the page the thickness of the
thumbnail. The books are large, about the size of a volume of an
encyclopedia. Green's "Short History of the English People" is in six
large volumes. The books are not heavy, because the leaves with the
raised type do not lie close. The time that one of Miss Keller's
friends realizes most strongly that she is blind is when he comes on
her suddenly in the dark and hears the rustle of her fingers across
the page.
The most convenient print for the blind is braille, which has
several variations, too many, indeed—English, American, New York
Point. Miss Keller reads them all. Most educated blind people know
several, but it would save trouble if, as Miss Keller suggests,
English braille were universally adopted. The facsimile on page xv
[omitted from etext] gives an idea of how the raised dots look. Each
character (either a letter or a special braille contraction) is a
combination made by varying in place and number points in six possible
positions. Miss Keller has a braille writer on which she keeps notes
and writes letters to her blind friends. There are six keys, and by
pressing different combinations at a stroke (as one plays a chord on
the piano) the operator makes a character at a time in a sheet of
thick paper, and can write about half as rapidly as on a typewriter.
Braille is especially useful in making single manuscript copies of
books.
Books for the blind are very limited in number. They cost a great
deal to publish and they have not a large enough sale to make them
profitable to the publisher; but there are several institutions with
special funds to pay for embossed books. Miss Keller is more fortunate
than most blind people in the kindness of her friends who have books
made especially for her, and in the willingness of gentlemen, like Mr.
E. E. Allen of the Pennsylvania Institute for the Instruction of the
Blind, to print, as he has on several occasions, editions of books
that she has needed.
Miss Keller does not as a rule read very fast, but she reads
deliberately, not so much because she feels the words less quickly
than we see then, as because it is one of her habits of mind to do
things thoroughly and well. When a passage interests her, or she needs
to remember it for some future use, she flutters it off swiftly on the
fingers of her right hand. Sometimes this finger-play is unconscious.
Miss Keller talks to herself absent-mindedly in the manual alphabet.
When she is walking up or down the hall or along the veranda, her
hands go flying along beside her like a confusion of birds' wings.
There is, I am told, tactile memory as well as visual and aural
memory. Miss Sullivan says that both she and Miss Keller remember "in
their fingers" what they have said. For Miss Keller to spell a
sentence in the manual alphabet impresses it on her mind just as we
learn a thing from having heard it many times and can call back the
memory of its sound.
Like every deaf or blind person, Miss Keller depends on her sense
of smell to an unusual degree. When she was a little girl she smelled
everything and knew where she was, what neighbour's house she was
passing, by the distinctive odours. As her intellect grew she became
less dependent on this sense. To what extent she now identifies
objects by their odour is hard to determine. The sense of smell has
fallen into disrepute, and a deaf person is reluctant to speak of it.
Miss Keller's acute sense of smell may account, however, in some part
for that recognition of persons and things which it has been customary
to attribute to a special sense, or to an unusual development of the
power that we all seem to have of telling when some one is near.
The question of a special "sixth sense," such as people have
ascribed. to Miss Keller, is a delicate one. This much is certain,
she cannot have any sense that other people may not have, and the
existence of a special sense is not evident to her or to any one who
knows her. Miss Keller is distinctly not a singular proof of occult
and mysterious theories, and any attempt to explain her in that way
fails to reckon with her normality. She is no more mysterious and
complex than any other person. All that she is, all that she has done,
can be explained directly, except such things in every human being as
never can be explained. She does not, it would seem, prove the
existence of spirit without matter, or of innate ideas, or of
immortality, or anything else that any other human being does not
prove. Philosophers have tried to find out what was her conception of
abstract ideas before she learned language. If she had any
conception, there is no way of discovering it now; for she cannot
remember, and obviously there was no record at the time. She had no
conception of God before she heard the word "God," as her comments
very clearly show.
Her sense of time is excellent, but whether it would have
developed as a special faculty cannot be known, for she has had a
watch since she was seven years old.
Miss Keller has two watches, which have been given her. They are,
I think, the only ones of their kind in America. The watch has on the
back cover a flat gold indicator which can be pushed freely around
from left to right until, by means of a pin inside the case, it locks
with the hour hand and takes a corresponding position. The point of
this gold indicator bends over the edge of the case, round which are
set eleven raised points—the stem forms the twelfth. Thus the watch,
an ordinary watch with a white dial for the person who sees, becomes
for a blind person by this special attachment in effect one with a
single raised hour hand and raised figures. Though there is less than
half an inch between the points—a space which represents sixty
minutes—Miss Keller tells the time almost exactly. It should be said
that any double-case watch with the crystal removed serves well enough
for a blind person whose touch is sufficiently delicate to feel the
position of the hands and not disturb or injure them.
The finer traits of Miss Keller's character are so well known that
one needs not say much about them. Good sense, good humour, and
imagination keep her scheme of things sane and beautiful. No attempt
is made by those around her either to preserve or to break her
illusions. When she was a little girl, a good many unwise and tactless
things that were said for her benefit were not repeated to her, thanks
to the wise watchfulness of Miss Sullivan. Now that she has grown up,
nobody thinks of being less frank with her than with any other
intelligent young woman. What her good friend, Charles Dudley Warner,
wrote about her in Harper's Magazine in 1896 was true then, and it
remains true now:
"I believe she is the purest-minded human ever in existence....
The world to her is what her own mind is. She has not even learned
that exhibition on which so many pride themselves, of 'righteous
indignation.'
"Some time ago, when a policeman shot dead her dog, a dearly loved
daily companion, she found in her forgiving heart no condemnation for
the man; she only said, 'If he had only known what a good dog she was,
he wouldn't have shot her.' It was said of old time, 'Lord forgive
them, they know not what they do!'
"Of course the question will arise whether, if Helen Keller had
not been guarded from the knowledge of evil, she would have been what
she is to-day.... Her mind has neither been made effeminate by the
weak and silly literature, nor has it been vitiated by that which is
suggestive of baseness. In consequence her mind is not only vigorous,
but it is pure. She is in love with noble things, with noble thoughts,
and with the characters of noble men and women."
She still has a childlike aversion to tragedies. Her imagination
is so vital that she falls completely under the illusion of a story,
and lives in its world. Miss Sullivan writes in a letter of 1891:
"Yesterday I read to her the story of 'Macbeth,' as told by
Charles and Mary Lamb. She was very greatly excited by it, and said:
'It is terrible! It makes me tremble!' After thinking a little while,
she added, 'I think Shakespeare made it very terrible so that people
would see how fearful it is to do wrong.'"
Of the real world she knows more of the good and less of the evil
than most people seem to know. Her teacher does not harass her with
the little unhappy things; but of the important difficulties they have
been through, Miss Keller was fully informed, took her share of the
suffering, and put her mind to the problems. She is logical and
tolerant, most trustful of a world that has treated her kindly.
Once when some one asked her to define "love," she replied, "Why,
bless you, that is easy; it is what everybody feels for everybody
else."
"Toleration," she said once, when she was visiting her friend Mrs.
Laurence Hutton, "is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires the
same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a
bicycle."
She has a large, generous sympathy and absolute fairness of
temper. So far as she is noticeably different from other people she
is less bound by convention. She has the courage of her metaphors and
lets them take her skyward when we poor self-conscious folk would
think them rather too bookish for ordinary conversation. She always
says exactly what she thinks, without fear of the plain truth; yet no
one is more tactful and adroit than she in turning an unpleasant truth
so that it will do the least possible hurt to the feelings of others.
Not all the attention that has been paid her since she was a child has
made her take herself too seriously. Sometimes she gets started on a
very solemn preachment. Then her teacher calls her an incorrigible
little sermonizer, and she laughs at herself. Often, however, her
sober ideas are not to be laughed at, for her earnestness carries her
listeners with her. There is never the least false sententiousness in
what she says. She means everything so thoroughly that her very
quotations, her echoes from what she has read, are in truth original.
Her logic and her sympathy are in excellent balance. Her sympathy
is of the swift and ministering sort which, fortunately, she has
found so often in other people. And her sympathies go further and
shape her opinions on political and national movements. She was
intensely pro-Boer and wrote a strong argument in favour of Boer
independence. When she was told of the surrender of the brave little
people, her face clouded and she was silent a few minutes. Then she
asked clear, penetrating questions about the terms of the surrender,
and began to discuss them.
Both Mr. Gilman and Mr. Keith, the teachers who prepared her for
college, were struck by her power of constructive reasoning; and she
was excellent in pure mathematics, though she seems never to have
enjoyed it much. Some of the best of her writing, apart from her
fanciful and imaginative work, is her exposition in examinations and
technical themes, and in some letters which she found it necessary to
write to clear up misunderstandings, and which are models of close
thinking enforced with sweet vehemence.
She is an optimist and an idealist.
"I hope," she writes in a letter, "that L— isn't too practical,
for if she is, I'm afraid she'll miss a great deal of pleasure."
In the diary that she kept at the Wright-Humason School in New
York she wrote on October 18, 1894, "I find that I have four things
to learn in my school life here, and indeed, in life—to think clearly
without hurry or confusion, to love everybody sincerely, to act in
everything with the highest motives, and to trust in dear God
unhesitatingly."
CHAPTER III. EDUCATION
It is now sixty-five years since Dr. Samuel Gridley Howe knew that
he had made his way through Laura Bridgman's fingers to her
intelligence. The names of Laura Bridgman and Helen Keller will
always be linked together, and it is necessary to understand what Dr.
Howe did for his pupil before one comes to an account of Miss
Sullivan's work. For Dr. Howe is the great pioneer on whose work that
of Miss Sullivan and other teachers of the deaf-blind immediately
depends.
Dr. Samuel Gridley Howe was born in Boston, November 10, 1801, and
died in Boston, January 9, 1876. He was a great philanthropist,
interested especially in the education of all defectives, the
feeble-minded, the blind, and the deaf. Far in advance of his time he
advocated many public measures for the relief of the poor and the
diseased, for which he was laughed at then, but which have since been
put into practice. As head of the Perkins Institution for the Blind in
Boston, he heard of Laura Bridgman and had her brought to the
Institution on October 4, 1837.
Laura Bridgman was born at Hanover, New Hampshire, December 21,
1829; so she was almost eight years old when Dr. Howe began his
experiments with her. At the age of twenty-six months scarlet fever
left her without sight or hearing. She also lost her sense of smell
and taste. Dr. Howe was an experimental scientist and had in him the
spirit of New England transcendentalism with its large faith and large
charities. Science and faith together led him to try to make his way
into the soul which he believed was born in Laura Bridgman as in every
other human being. His plan was to teach Laura by means of raised
types. He pasted raised labels on objects and made her fit the labels
to the objects and the objects to the labels. When she had learned in
this way to associate raised words with things, in much the same
manner, he says, as a dog learns tricks, he began to resolve the words
into their letter elements and to teach her to put together "k-e-y,"
"c-a-p." His success convinced him that language can be conveyed
through type to the mind of the blind-deaf child, who, before
education, is in the state of the baby who has not learned to
prattle; indeed, is in a much worse state, for the brain has grown in
years without natural nourishment.
After Laura's education had progressed for two months with the use
only of raised letters, Dr. Howe sent one of his teachers to learn the
manual alphabet from a deaf-mute. She taught it to Laura, and from
that time on the manual alphabet was the means of communicating with
her.
After the first year or two Dr. Howe did not teach Laura Bridgman
himself, but gave her over to other teachers, who under his direction
carried on the work of teaching her language.
Too much cannot be said in praise of Dr. Howe's work. As an
investigator he kept always the scientist's attitude. He never forgot
to keep his records of Laura Bridgman in the fashion of one who works
in a laboratory. The result is, his records of her are systematic and
careful. From a scientific standpoint it is unfortunate that it was
impossible to keep such a complete record of Helen Keller's
development. This in itself is a great comment on the difference
between Laura Bridgman and Helen Keller. Laura always remained an
object of curious study. Helen Keller became so rapidly a distinctive
personality that she kept her teacher in a breathless race to meet the
needs of her pupil, with no time or strength to make a scientific
study.
In some ways this is unfortunate. Miss Sullivan knew at the
beginning that Helen Keller would be more interesting and successful
than Laura Bridgman, and she expresses in one of her letters the need
of keeping notes. But neither temperament nor training allowed her to
make her pupil the object of any experiment or observation which did
not help in the child's development. As soon as a thing was done, a
definite goal passed, the teacher did not always look back and
describe the way she had come. The explanation of the fact was
unimportant compared to the fact itself and the need of hurrying on.
There are two other reasons why Miss Sullivan's records are
incomplete. It has always been a severe tax on her eyes to write, and
she was early discouraged from publishing data by the inaccurate use
made of what she at first supplied.
When she first wrote from Tuscumbia to Mr. Michael Anagnos, Dr.
Howes son-in-law and his successor as Director of the Perkins
Institution, about her work with her pupil, the Boston papers began
at once to publish exaggerated accounts of Helen Keller. Miss Sullivan
protested. In a letter dated April 10, 1887, only five weeks after she
went to Helen Keller, she wrote to a friend:
"— sent me a Boston Herald containing a stupid article about
Helen. How perfectly absurd to say that Helen is 'already talking
fluently!' Why, one might just as well say that a two-year-old child
converses fluently when he says 'apple give,' or 'baby walk go.' I
suppose if you included his screaming, crowing, whimpering, grunting,
squalling, with occasional kicks, in his conversation, it might be
regarded as fluent—even eloquent. Then it is amusing to read of the
elaborate preparation I underwent to fit me for the great task my
friends entrusted to me. I am sorry that preparation didn't include
spelling, it would have saved me such a lot of trouble."
On March 4, 1888, she writes in a letter:
"Indeed, I am heartily glad that I don't know all that is being
said and written about Helen and myself. I assure you I know quite
enough. Nearly every mail brings some absurd statement, printed or
written. The truth is not wonderful enough to suit the newspapers; so
they enlarge upon it and invent ridiculous embellishments. One paper
has Helen demonstrating problems in geometry by means of her playing
blocks. I expect to hear next that she has written a treatise on the
origin and future of the planets!"
In December, 1887, appeared the first report of the Director of
the Perkins Institution, which deals with Helen Keller. For this
report Miss Sullivan prepared, in reluctant compliance with the
request of Mr. Anagnos, an account of her work. This with the
extracts from her letters, scattered through the report, is the first
valid source of information about Helen Keller. Of this report Miss
Sullivan wrote in a letter dated October 30, 1887:
"Have you seen the paper I wrote for the 'report'? Mr. Anagnos was
delighted with it. He says Helen's progress has been 'a triumphal
march from the beginning,' and he has many flattering things to say
about her teacher. I think he is inclined to exaggerate; at all
events, his language is too glowing, and simple facts are set forth in
such a manner that they bewilder one. Doubtless the work of the past
few months does seem like a triumphal march to him; but then people
seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most
insignificant success is achieved."
As Mr. Anagnos was the head of a great institution, what he said
had much more effect than the facts in Miss Sullivan's account on
which he based his statements. The newspapers caught Mr. Anagnos's
spirit and exaggerated a hundred-fold. In a year after she first went
to Helen Keller, Miss Sullivan found herself and her pupil the centre
of a stupendous fiction. Then the educators all over the world said
their say and for the most part did not help matters. There grew up a
mass of controversial matter which it is amusing to read now. Teachers
of the deaf proved a priori that what Miss Sullivan had done could not
be, and some discredit was reflected on her statements, because they
were surrounded by the vague eloquence of Mr. Anagnos. Thus the story
of Helen Keller, incredible when told with moderation, had the
misfortune to be heralded by exaggerated announcements, and naturally
met either an ignorant credulity or an incredulous hostility.
In November, 1888, another report of the Perkins Institution
appeared with a second paper by Miss Sullivan, and then nothing
official was published until November, 1891, when Mr. Anagnos issued
the last Perkins Institution report containing anything about Helen
Keller. For this report Miss Sullivan wrote the fullest and largest
account she has ever written; and in this report appeared the "Frost
King," which is discussed fully in a later chapter. Then the
controversy waxed fiercer than ever.
Finding that other people seemed to know so much more about Helen
Keller than she did, Miss Sullivan kept silent and has been silent
for ten years, except for her paper in the first volta Bureau Souvenir
of Helen Keller and the paper which, at Dr. Bell's request, she
prepared in 1894 for the meeting at Chautauqua of the American
Association to Promote the Teaching of Speech to the Deaf. When Dr.
Bell and others tell her, what is certainly true from an impersonal
point of view, that she owes it to the cause of education to write
what she knows, she answers very properly that she owes all her time
and all her energies to her pupil.
Although Miss Sullivan is still rather amused than distressed when
some one, even one of her friends, makes mistakes in published
articles about her and Miss Keller, still she sees that Miss Keller's
book should include all the information that the teacher could at
present furnish. So she consented to the publication of extracts from
letters which she wrote during the first year of her work with her
pupil. These letters were written to Mrs. Sophia C. Hopkins, the only
person to whom Miss Sullivan ever wrote freely. Mrs. Hopkins has been
a matron at the Perkins Institution for twenty years, and during the
time that Miss Sullivan was a pupil there she was like a mother to
her. In these letters we have an almost weekly record of Miss
Sullivan's work. Some of the details she had forgotten, as she grew
more and more to generalize. Many people have thought that any attempt
to find the principles in her method would be nothing but a later
theory superimposed on Miss Sullivan's work. But it is evident that in
these letters she was making a clear analysis of what she was doing.
She was her own critic, and in spite of her later declaration, made
with her modest carelessness, that she followed no particular method,
she was very clearly learning from her task and phrasing at the time
principles of education of unique value not only in the teaching of
the deaf but in the teaching of all children. The extracts from her
letters and reports form an important contribution to pedagogy, and
more than justify the opinion of Dr. Daniel C. Gilman, who wrote in
1893, when he was President of Johns Hopkins University:
"I have just read... your most interesting account of the various
steps you have taken in the education of your wonderful pupil, and I
hope you will allow me to express my admiration for the wisdom that
has guided your methods and the affection which has inspired your
labours."
Miss Anne Mansfield Sullivan was born at Springfield,
Massachusetts. Very early in her life she became almost totally
blind, and she entered the Perkins Institution October 7, 1880, when
she was fourteen years old. Later her sight was partially restored.
Mr. Anagnos says in his report of 1887: "She was obliged to begin
her education at the lowest and most elementary point; but she showed
from the very start that she had in herself the force and capacity
which insure success.... She has finally reached the goal for which
she strove so bravely. The golden words that Dr. Howe uttered and the
example that he left passed into her thoughts and heart and helped her
on the road to usefulness; and now she stands by his side as his
worthy successor in one of the most cherished branches of his work....
Miss Sullivan's talents are of the highest order."
In 1886 she graduated from the Perkins Institution. When Captain
Keller applied to the director for a teacher, Mr. Anagnos recommended
her. The only time she had to prepare herself for the work with her
pupil was from August, 1886, when Captain Keller wrote, to February,
1887. During this time she read Dr. Howe's reports. She was further
aided by the fact that during the six years of her school life she had
lived in the house with Laura Bridgman. It was Dr. Howe who, by his
work with Laura Bridgman, made Miss Sullivan's work possible: but it
was Miss Sullivan who discovered the way to teach language to the
deaf-blind.
It must be remembered that Miss Sullivan had to solve her problems
unaided by previous experience or the assistance of any other teacher.
During the first year of her work with Helen Keller, in which she
taught her pupil language, they were in Tuscumbia; and when they came
North and visited the Perkins Institution, Helen Keller was never a
regular student there or subject to the discipline of the Institution.
The impression that Miss Sullivan educated Helen Keller "under the
direction of Mr. Anagnos" is erroneous. In the three years during
which at various times Miss Keller and Miss Sullivan were guests of
the Perkins Institution, the teachers there did not help Miss
Sullivan, and Mr. Anagnos did not even use the manual alphabet with
facility as a means of communication. Mr. Anagnos wrote in the report
of the Perkins Institution, dated November 27, 1888: "At my urgent
request, Helen, accompanied by her mother and her teacher, came to
the North in the last week of May, and spent several months with us as
our guests.... We gladly allowed her to use freely our library of
embossed books, our collection of stuffed animals, sea-shells, models
of flowers and plants, and the rest of our apparatus for instructing
the blind through the sense of touch. I do not doubt that she derived
from them much pleasure and not a little profit. But whether Helen
stays at home or makes visits in other parts of the country, her
education is always under the immediate direction and exclusive
control of her teacher. No one interferes with Miss Sullivan's plans,
or shares in her tasks. She has been allowed entire freedom in the
choice of means and methods for carrying on her great work; and, as we
can judge by the results, she has made a most judicious and discreet
use of this privilege. What the little pupil has thus far accomplished
is widely known, and her wonderful attainments command general
admiration; but only those who are familiar with the particulars of
the grand achievement know that the credit is largely due to the
intelligence, wisdom, sagacity, unremitting perseverance and unbending
will of the instructress, who rescued the child from the depths of
everlasting night and stillness, and watched over the different phases
of her mental and moral development with maternal solicitude and
enthusiastic devotion."
Here follow in order Miss Sullivan's letters and the most
important passages from the reports. I have omitted from each
succeeding report what has already been explained and does not need
to be repeated. For the ease of the reader I have, with Miss
Sullivan's consent, made the extracts run together continuously and
supplied words of connection and the resulting necessary changes in
syntax, and Miss Sullivan has made slight changes in the phrasing of
her reports and also of her letters, which were carelessly written. I
have also italicized a few important passages. Some of her opinions
Miss Sullivan would like to enlarge and revise. That remains for her
to do at another time. At present we have here the fullest record that
has been published. The first letter is dated March 6, 1887, three
days after her arrival in Tuscumbia.
...It was 6.30 when I reached Tuscumbia. I found Mrs. Keller and
Mr. James Keller waiting for me. They said somebody had met every
train for two days. The drive from the station to the house, a
distance of one mile, was very lovely and restful. I was surprised to
find Mrs. Keller a very young-looking woman, not much older than
myself, I should think. Captain Keller met us in the yard and gave me
a cheery welcome and a hearty handshake. My first question was, "Where
is Helen?" I tried with all my might to control the eagerness that
made me tremble so that I could hardly walk. As we approached the
house I saw a child standing in the doorway, and Captain Keller said,
"There she is. She has known all day that some one was expected, and
she has been wild ever since her mother went to the station for you."
I had scarcely put my foot on the steps, when she rushed toward me
with such force that she would have thrown me backward if Captain
Keller had not been behind me. She felt my face and dress and my bag,
which she took out of my hand and tried to open. It did not open
easily, and she felt carefully to see if there was a keyhole. Finding
that there was, she turned to me, making the sign of turning a key and
pointing to the bag. Her mother interfered at this point and showed
Helen by signs that she must not touch the bag. Her face flushed, and
when her mother attempted to take the bag from her, she grew very
angry. I attracted her attention by showing her my watch and letting
her hold it in her hand. Instantly the tempest subsided, and we went
upstairs together. Here I opened the bag, and she went through it
eagerly, probably expecting to find something to eat. Friends had
probably brought her candy in their bags, and she expected to find
some in mine. I made her understand, by pointing to a trunk in the
hall and to myself and nodding my head, that I had a trunk, and then
made the sign that she had used for eating, and nodded again. She
understood in a flash and ran downstairs to tell her mother, by means
of emphatic signs, that there was some candy in a trunk for her. She
returned in a few minutes and helped me put away my things. It was too
comical to see her put on my bonnet and cock her head first on one
side, then on the other, and look in the mirror, just as if she could
see. Somehow I had expected to see a pale, delicate child—I suppose I
got the idea from Dr. Howe's description of Laura Bridgman when she
came to the Institution. But there's nothing pale or delicate about
Helen. She is large, strong, and ruddy, and as unrestrained in her
movements as a young colt. She has none of those nervous habits that
are so noticeable and so distressing in blind children. Her body is
well formed and vigorous, and Mrs. Keller says she has not been ill a
day since the illness that deprived her of her sight and hearing. She
has a fine head, and it is set on her shoulders just right. Her face
is hard to describe. It is intelligent, but lacks mobility, or soul,
or something. Her mouth is large and finely shaped. You see at a
glance that she is blind. One eye is larger than the other, and
protrudes noticeably. She rarely smiles; indeed, I have seen her smile
only once or twice since I came. She is unresponsive and even
impatient of caresses from any one except her mother. She is very
quick-tempered and wilful, and nobody, except her brother James, has
attempted to control her. The greatest problem I shall have to solve
is how to discipline and control her without breaking her spirit. I
shall go rather slowly at first and try to win her love. I shall not
attempt to conquer her by force alone; but I shall insist on
reasonable obedience from the start. One thing that impresses
everybody is Helen's tireless activity. She is never still a moment.
She is here, there, and everywhere. Her hands are in everything; but
nothing holds her attention for long. Dear child, her restless spirit
gropes in the dark. Her untaught, unsatisfied hands destroy whatever
they touch because they do not know what else to do with things.
She helped me unpack my trunk when it came, and was delighted when
she found the doll the little girls sent her. I thought it a good
opportunity to teach her her first word. I spelled "d-o-l-l" slowly in
her hand and pointed to the doll and nodded my head, which seems to be
her sign for possession. Whenever anybody gives her anything, she
points to it, then to herself, and nods her head. She looked puzzled
and felt my hand, and I repeated the letters. She imitated them very
well and pointed to the doll. Then I took the doll, meaning to give it
back to her when she had made the letters; but she thought I meant to
take it from her, and in an instant she was in a temper, and tried to
seize the doll. I shook my head and tried to form the letters with her
fingers; but she got more and more angry. I forced her into a chair
and held her there until I was nearly exhausted. Then it occurred to
me that it was useless to continue the struggle—I must do something
to turn the current of her thoughts. I let her go, but refused to give
up the doll. I went downstairs and got some cake (she is very fond of
sweets). I showed Helen the cake and spelled "c-a-k-e" in her hand,
holding the cake toward her. Of course she wanted it and tried to take
it; but I spelled the word again and patted her hand. She made the
letters rapidly, and I gave her the cake, which she ate in a great
hurry, thinking, I suppose, that I might take it from her. Then I
showed her the doll and spelled the word again, holding the doll
toward her as I held the cake. She made the letters "d-o-l"' and I
made the other "l" and gave her the doll. She ran downstairs with it
and could not be induced to return to my room all day.
Yesterday I gave her a sewing-card to do. I made the first row of
vertical lines and let her feel it and notice that there were several
rows of little holes. She began to work delightedly and finished the
card in a few minutes, and did it very neatly indeed. I thought I
would try another word; so I spelled "c-a-r-d." She made the "c-a,"
then stopped and thought, and making the sign for eating and pointing
downward she pushed me toward the door, meaning that I must go
downstairs for some cake. The two letters "c-a," you see, had reminded
her of Fridays "lesson"—not that she had any idea that cake was the
name of the thing, but it was simply a matter of association, I
suppose. I finished the word "c-a-k-e" and obeyed her command. She was
delighted. Then I spelled "d-o-l-l" and began to hunt for it. She
follows with her hands every motion you make, and she knew that I was
looking for the doll. She pointed down, meaning that the doll was
downstairs. I made the signs that she had used when she wished me to
go for the cake, and pushed her toward the door. She started forward,
then hesitated a moment, evidently debating within herself whether she
would go or not. She decided to send me instead. I shook my head and
spelled "d-o-l-l" more emphatically, and opened the door for her; but
she obstinately refused to obey. She had not finished the cake she was
eating, and I took it away, indicating that if she brought the doll I
would give her back the cake. She stood perfectly still for one long
moment, her face crimson; then her desire for the cake triumphed, and
she ran downstairs and brought the doll, and of course I gave her the
cake, but could not persuade her to enter the room again.
She was very troublesome when I began to write this morning. She
kept coming up behind me and putting her hand on the paper and into
the ink-bottle. These blots are her handiwork. Finally I remembered
the kindergarten beads, and set her to work stringing them. First I
put on two wooden beads and one glass bead, then made her feel of the
string and the two boxes of beads. She nodded and began at once to
fill the string with wooden beads. I shook my head and took them all
off and made her feel of the two wooden beads and the one glass bead.
She examined them thoughtfully and began again. This time she put on
the glass bead first and the two wooden ones next. I took them off and
showed her that the two wooden ones must go on first, then the glass
bead. She had no further trouble and filled the string quickly, too
quickly, in fact. She tied the ends together when she had finished the
string, and put the beads round her neck. I did not make the knot
large enough in the next string, and the beads came off as fast as she
put them on; but she solved the difficulty herself by putting the
string through a bead and tying it. I thought this very clever. She
amused herself with the beads until dinner-time, bringing the strings
to me now and then for my approval.
My eyes are very much inflamed. I know this letter is very
carelessly written. I had a lot to say, and couldn't stop to think
how to express things neatly. Please do not show my letter to any one.
If you want to, you may read it to my friends.
Monday P.M.
I had a battle royal with Helen this morning. Although I try very
hard not to force issues, I find it very difficult to avoid them.
Helen's table manners are appalling. She puts her hands in our
plates and helps herself, and when the dishes are passed, she grabs
them and takes out whatever she wants. This morning I would not let
her put her hand in my plate. She persisted, and a contest of wills
followed. Naturally the family was much disturbed, and left the room.
I locked the dining-room door, and proceeded to eat my breakfast,
though the food almost choked me. Helen was lying on the floor,
kicking and screaming and trying to pull my chair from under me. She
kept this up for half an hour, then she got up to see what I was
doing. I let her see that I was eating, but did not let her put her
hand in the plate. She pinched me, and I slapped her every time she
did it. Then she went all round the table to see who was there, and
finding no one but me, she seemed bewildered. After a few minutes she
came back to her place and began to eat her breakfast with her
fingers. I gave her a spoon, which she threw on the floor. I forced
her out of the chair and made her pick it up. Finally I succeeded in
getting her back in her chair again, and held the spoon in her hand,
compelling her to take up the food with it and put it in her mouth. In
a few minutes she yielded and finished her breakfast peaceably. Then
we had another tussle over folding her napkin. When she had finished,
she threw it on the floor and ran toward the door. Finding it locked,
she began to kick and scream all over again. It was another hour
before I succeeded in getting her napkin folded. Then I let her out
into the warm sunshine and went up to my room and threw myself on the
bed exhausted. I had a good cry and felt better. I suppose I shall
have many such battles with the little woman before she learns the
only two essential things I can teach her, obedience and love.
Good-by, dear. Don't worry; I'll do my best and leave the rest to
whatever power manages that which we cannot. I like Mrs. Keller very
much.
Tuscumbia, Alabama, March 11, 1887.
Since I wrote you, Helen and I have gone to live all by ourselves
in a little garden-house about a quarter of a mile from her home,
only a short distance from Ivy Green, the Keller homestead. I very
soon made up my mind that I could do nothing with Helen in the midst
of the family, who have always allowed her to do exactly as she
pleased. She has tyrannized over everybody, her mother, her father,
the servants, the little darkies who play with her, and nobody had
ever seriously disputed her will, except occasionally her brother
James, until I came; and like all tyrants she holds tenaciously to her
divine right to do as she pleases. If she ever failed to get what she
wanted, it was because of her inability to make the vassals of her
household understand what it was. Every thwarted desire was the signal
for a passionate outburst, and as she grew older and stronger, these
tempests became more violent. As I began to teach her, I was beset by
many difficulties. She wouldn't yield a point without contesting it to
the bitter end. I couldn't coax her or compromise with her. To get her
to do the simplest thing, such as combing her hair or washing her
hands or buttoning her boots, it was necessary to use force, and, of
course, a distressing scene followed. The family naturally felt
inclined to interfere, especially her father, who cannot bear to see
her cry. So they were all willing to give in for the sake of peace.
Besides, her past experiences and associations were all against me. I
saw clearly that it was useless to try to teach her language or
anything else until she learned to obey me. I have thought about it a
great deal, and the more I think, the more certain I am that obedience
is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the
mind of the child. As I wrote you, I meant to go slowly at first. I
had an idea that I could win the love and confidence of my little
pupil by the same means that I should use if she could see and hear.
But I soon found that I was cut off from all the usual approaches to
the child's heart. She accepted everything I did for her as a matter
of course, and refused to be caressed, and there was no way of
appealing to her affection or sympathy or childish love of
approbation. She would or she wouldn't, and there was an end of it.
Thus it is, we study, plan and prepare ourselves for a task, and when
the hour for action arrives, we find that the system we have followed
with such labour and pride does not fit the occasion; and then there's
nothing for us to do but rely on something within us, some innate
capacity for knowing and doing, which we did not know we possessed
until the hour of our great need brought it to light.
I had a good, frank talk with Mrs. Keller, and explained to her
how difficult it was going to be to do anything with Helen under the
existing circumstances. I told her that in my opinion the child ought
to be separated from the family for a few weeks at least—that she
must learn to depend on and obey me before I could make any headway.
After a long time Mrs. Keller said that she would think the matter
over and see what Captain Keller thought of sending Helen away with
me. Captain Keller fell in with the scheme most readily and suggested
that the little garden-house at the "old place" be got ready for us.
He said that Helen might recognize the place, as she had often been
there, but she would have no idea of her surroundings, and they could
come every day to see that all was going well, with the understanding,
of course, that she was to know nothing of their visits. I hurried
the preparations for our departure as much as possible, and here we
are.
The little house is a genuine bit of paradise. It consists of one
large square room with a great fireplace, a spacious bay-window, and
a small room where our servant, a little negro boy, sleeps. There is a
piazza in front, covered with vines that grow so luxuriantly that you
have to part them to see the garden beyond. Our meals are brought from
the house, and we usually eat on the piazza. The little negro boy
takes care of the fire when we need one, so I can give my whole
attention to Helen.
She was greatly excited at first, and kicked and screamed herself
into a sort of stupor, but when supper was brought she ate heartily
and seemed brighter, although she refused to let me touch her. She
devoted herself to her dolls the first evening, and when it was
bedtime she undressed very quietly, but when she felt me get into bed
with her, she jumped out on the other side, and nothing that I could
do would induce her to get in again. But I was afraid she would take
cold, and I insisted that she must go to bed. We had a terrific
tussle, I can tell you. The struggle lasted for nearly two hours. I
never saw such strength and endurance in a child. But fortunately for
us both, I am a little stronger, and quite as obstinate when I set
out. I finally succeeded in getting her on the bed and covered her up,
and she lay curled up as near the edge of the bed as possible.
The next morning she was very docile, but evidently homesick. She
kept going to the door, as if she expected some one, and every now
and then she would touch her cheek, which is her sign for her mother,
and shake her head sadly. She played with her dolls more than usual,
and would have nothing to do with me. It is amusing and pathetic to
see Helen with her dolls. I don't think she has any special tenderness
for them—I have never seen her caress them; but she dresses and
undresses them many times during the day and handles them exactly as
she has seen her mother and the nurse handle her baby sister.
This morning Nancy, her favourite doll, seemed to have some
difficulty about swallowing the milk that was being administered to
her in large spoonfuls; for Helen suddenly put down the cup and began
to slap her on the back and turn her over on her knees, trotting her
gently and patting her softly all the time. This lasted for several
minutes; then this mood passed, and Nancy was thrown ruthlessly on the
floor and pushed to one side, while a large, pink-cheeked,
fuzzy-haired member of the family received the little mother's
undivided attention.
Helen knows several words now, but has no idea how to use them, or
that everything has a name. I think, however, she will learn quickly
enough by and by. As I have said before, she is wonderfully bright and
active and as quick as lightning in her movements.
March 13, 1887.
You will be glad to hear that my experiment is working out finely.
I have not had any trouble at all with Helen, either yesterday or
to-day. She has learned three new words, and when I give her the
objects, the names of which she has learned, she spells them
unhesitatingly; but she seems glad when the lesson is over.
We had a good frolic this morning out in the garden. Helen
evidently knew where she was as soon as she touched the boxwood
hedges, and made many signs which I did not understand. No doubt they
were signs for the different members of the family at Ivy Green.
I have just heard something that surprised me very much. It seems
that Mr. Anagnos had heard of Helen before he received Captain
Keller's letter last summer. Mr. Wilson, a teacher at Florence, and a
friend of the Kellers', studied at Harvard the summer before and went
to the Perkins Institution to learn if anything could be done for his
friend's child. He saw a gentleman whom he presumed to be the
director, and told him about Helen. He says the gentleman was not
particularly interested, but said he would see if anything could be
done. Doesn't it seem strange that Mr. Anagnos never referred to this
interview?
March 20, 1887.
My heart is singing for joy this morning. A miracle has happened!
The light of understanding has shone upon my little pupil's mind, and
behold, all things are changed!
The wild little creature of two weeks ago has been transformed
into a gentle child. She is sitting by me as I write, her face serene
and happy, crocheting a long red chain of Scotch wool. She learned the
stitch this week, and is very proud of the achievement. When she
succeeded in making a chain that would reach across the room, she
patted herself on the arm and put the first work of her hands lovingly
against her cheek. She lets me kiss her now, and when she is in a
particularly gentle mood, she will sit in my lap for a minute or two;
but she does not return my caresses. The great step—the step that
counts—has been taken. The little savage has learned her first lesson
in obedience, and finds the yoke easy. It now remains my pleasant
task to direct and mould the beautiful intelligence that is beginning
to stir in the child-soul. Already people remark the change in Helen.
Her father looks in at us morning and evening as he goes to and from
his office, and sees her contentedly stringing her beads or making
horizontal lines on her sewing-card, and exclaims, "How quiet she is!"
When I came, her movements were so insistent that one always felt
there was something unnatural and almost weird about her. I have
noticed also that she eats much less, a fact which troubles her father
so much that he is anxious to get her home. He says she is homesick.
I don't agree with him; but I suppose we shall have to leave our
little bower very soon.
Helen has learned several nouns this week. "M-u-g" and "m-i-l-k,"
have given her more trouble than other words. When she spells "milk,"
she points to the mug, and when she spells "mug," she makes the sign
for pouring or drinking, which shows that she has confused the words.
She has no idea yet that everything has a name.
Yesterday I had the little negro boy come in when Helen was having
her lesson, and learn the letters, too. This pleased her very much and
stimulated her ambition to excel Percy. She was delighted if he made a
mistake, and made him form the letter over several times. When he
succeeded in forming it to suit her, she patted him on his woolly head
so vigorously that I thought some of his slips were intentional.
One day this week Captain Keller brought Belle, a setter of which
he is very proud, to see us. He wondered if Helen would recognize her
old playmate. Helen was giving Nancy a bath, and didn't notice the dog
at first. She usually feels the softest step and throws out her arms
to ascertain if any one is near her. Belle didn't seem very anxious to
attract her attention. I imagine she has been rather roughly handled
sometimes by her little mistress. The dog hadn't been in the room more
than half a minute, however, before Helen began to sniff, and dumped
the doll into the wash-bowl and felt about the room. She stumbled upon
Belle, who was crouching near the window where Captain Keller was
standing. It was evident that she recognized the dog; for she put her
arms round her neck and squeezed her. Then Helen sat down by her and
began to manipulate her claws. We couldn't think for a second what
she was doing; but when we saw her make the letters "d-o-l-l" on her
own fingers, we knew that she was trying to teach Belle to spell.
March 28, 1887.
Helen and I came home yesterday. I am sorry they wouldn't let us
stay another week; but I think I have made the most I could of the
opportunities that were mine the past two weeks, and I don't expect
that I shall have any serious trouble with Helen in the future. The
back of the greatest obstacle in the path of progress is broken. I
think "no" and "yes," conveyed by a shake or a nod of my head, have
become facts as apparent to her as hot and cold or as the difference
between pain and pleasure. And I don't intend that the lesson she has
learned at the cost of so much pain and trouble shall be unlearned. I
shall stand between her and the over-indulgence of her parents. I have
told Captain and Mrs. Keller that they must not interfere with me in
any way. I have done my best to make them see the terrible injustice
to Helen of allowing her to have her way in everything, and I have
pointed out that the processes of teaching the child that everything
cannot be as he wills it, are apt to be painful both to him and to his
teacher. They have promised to let me have a free hand and help me as
much as possible. The improvement they cannot help seeing in their
child has given them more confidence in me. Of course, it is hard for
them. I realize that it hurts to see their afflicted little child
punished and made to do things against her will. Only a few hours
after my talk with Captain and Mrs. Keller (and they had agreed to
everything), Helen took a notion that she wouldn't use her napkin at
table. I think she wanted to see what would happen. I attempted
several times to put the napkin round her neck; but each time she tore
it off and threw it on the floor and finally began to kick the table.
I took her plate away and started to take her out of the room. Her
father objected and said that no child of his should be deprived of
his food on any account.
Helen didn't come up to my room after supper, and I didn't see her
again until breakfast-time. She was at her place when I came down. She
had put the napkin under her chin, instead of pinning it at the back,
as was her custom. She called my attention to the new arrangement, and
when I did not object she seemed pleased and patted herself. When she
left the dining-room, she took my hand and patted it. I wondered if
she was trying to "make up." I thought I would try the effect of a
little belated discipline. I went back to the dining-room and got a
napkin. When Helen came upstairs for her lesson, I arranged the
objects on the table as usual, except that the cake, which I always
give her in bits as a reward when she spells a word quickly and
correctly, was not there. She noticed this at once and made the sign
for it. I showed her the napkin and pinned it round her neck, then
tore it off and threw it on the floor and shook my head. I repeated
this performance several times. I think she understood perfectly well;
for she slapped her hand two or three times and shook her head. We
began the lesson as usual. I gave her an object, and she spelled the
name (she knows twelve now). After spelling half the words, she
stopped suddenly, as if a thought had flashed into her mind, and felt
for the napkin. She pinned it round her neck and made the sign for
cake (it didn't occur to her to spell the word, you see). I took this
for a promise that if I gave her some cake she would be a good girl. I
gave her a larger piece than usual, and she chuckled and patted
herself.
April 3, 1887.
We almost live in the garden, where everything is growing and
blooming and glowing. After breakfast we go out and watch the men at
work. Helen loves to dig and play in the dirt like any other child.
This morning she planted her doll and showed me that she expected her
to grow as tall as I. You must see that she is very bright, but you
have no idea how cunning she is.
At ten we come in and string beads for a few minutes. She can make
a great many combinations now, and often invents new ones herself.
Then I let her decide whether she will sew or knit or crochet. She
learned to knit very quickly, and is making a wash-cloth for her
mother. Last week she made her doll an apron, and it was done as well
as any child of her age could do it. But I am always glad when this
work is over for the day. Sewing and crocheting are inventions of the
devil, I think. I'd rather break stones on the king's highway than hem
a handkerchief. At eleven we have gymnastics. She knows all the
free-hand movements and the "Anvil Chorus" with the dumb-bells. Her
father says he is going to fit up a gymnasium for her in the
pump-house; but we both like a good romp better than set exercises.
The hour from twelve to one is devoted to the learning of new words.
BUT YOU MUSTN'T THINK THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I SPELL TO HELEN; FOR I
SPELL IN HER HAND EVERYTHING WE DO ALL DAY LONG, ALTHOUGH SHE HAS NO
IDEA AS YET WHAT THE SPELLING MEANS. After dinner I rest for an hour,
and Helen plays with her dolls or frolics in the yard with the little
darkies, who were her constant companions before I came. Later I join
them, and we make the rounds of the outhouses. We visit the horses and
mules in their stalls and hunt for eggs and feed the turkeys. Often,
when the weather is fine, we drive from four to six, or go to see her
aunt at Ivy Green or her cousins in the town. Helen's instincts are
decidedly social; she likes to have people about her and to visit her
friends, partly, I think, because they always have things she likes to
eat. After supper we go to my room and do all sorts of things until
eight, when I undress the little woman and put her to bed. She sleeps
with me now. Mrs. Keller wanted to get a nurse for her, but I
concluded I'd rather be her nurse than look after a stupid, lazy
negress. Besides, I like to have Helen depend on me for everything,
AND I FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO TEACH HER THINGS AT ODD MOMENTS THAN AT
SET TIMES.
On March 31st I found that Helen knew eighteen nouns and three
verbs. Here is a list of the words. Those with a cross after them are
words she asked for herself: DOLL, MUG, PIN, KEY, DOG, HAT, CUP, BOX,
WATER, MILK, CANDY, EYE (X), FINGER (X), TOE (X), HEAD (X), CAKE,
BABY, MOTHER, SIT, STAND, WALK. On April 1st she learned the nouns
KNIFE, FORK, SPOON, SAUCER, TEA, PAPA, BED, and the verb RUN.
April 5, 1887.
I must write you a line this morning because something very
important has happened. Helen has taken the second great step in her
education. She has learned that EVERYTHING HAS A NAME, AND THAT THE
MANUAL ALPHABET IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING SHE WANTS TO KNOW.
In a previous letter I think I wrote you that "mug" and "milk" had
given Helen more trouble than all the rest. She confused the nouns
with the verb "drink." She didn't know the word for "drink," but went
through the pantomime of drinking whenever she spelled "mug" or
"milk." This morning, while she was washing, she wanted to know the
name for "water." When she wants to know the name of anything, she
points to it and pats my hand. I spelled "w-a-t-e-r" and thought no
more about it until after breakfast. Then it occurred to me that with
the help of this new word I might succeed in straightening out the
"mug-milk" difficulty. We went out to the pump-house, and I made Helen
hold her mug under the spout while I pumped. As the cold water gushed
forth, filling the mug, I spelled "w-a-t-e-r" in Helen's free hand.
The word coming so close upon the sensation of cold water rushing over
her hand seemed to startle her. She dropped the mug and stood as one
transfixed. A new light came into her face. She spelled "water"
several times. Then she dropped on the ground and asked for its name
and pointed to the pump and the trellis, and suddenly turning round
she asked for my name. I spelled "Teacher." Just then the nurse
brought Helen's little sister into the pump-house, and Helen spelled
"baby" and pointed to the nurse. All the way back to the house she was
highly excited, and learned the name of every object she touched, so
that in a few hours she had adDED THIRTY NEW WORDS TO HER VOCABULARY.
HERE ARE SOME OF THEM: DOOR, OPEN, SHUT, GIVE, GO, COME, and a great
many more.
P.S.—I didn't finish my letter in time to get it posted last
night; so I shall add a line. Helen got up this morning like a
radiant fairy. She has flitted from object to object, asking the name
of everything and kissing me for very gladness. Last night when I got
in bed, she stole into my arms of her own accord and kissed me for the
first time, and I thought my heart would burst, so full was it of joy.
April 10, 1887.
I see an improvement in Helen day to day, almost from hour to
hour. Everything must have a name now. Wherever we go, she asks
eagerly for the names of things she has not learned at home. She is
anxious for her friends to spell, and eager to teach the letters to
every one she meets. She drops the signs and pantomime she used
before, as soon as she has words to supply their place, and the
acquirement of a new word affords her the liveliest pleasure. And we
notice that her face grows more expressive each day.
I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO TRY TO HAVE REGULAR LESSONS FOR THE PRESENT.
I AM GOING TO TREAT HELEN EXACTLY LIKE A TWO-YEAR-OLD CHILD. IT
OCCURRED TO ME THE OTHER DAY THAT IT IS ABSURD TO REQUIRE A CHILD TO
COME TO A CERTAIN PLACE AT A CERTAIN TIME AND RECITE CERTAIN LESSONS,
WHEN HE HAS NOT YET ACQUIRED A WORKING VOCABULARY. I sent Helen away
and sat down to think. I asked myself, "How does a normal child learn
language?" The answer was simple, "By imitation." The child comes into
the world with the ability to learn, and he learns of himself,
provided he is supplied with sufficient outward stimulus. He sees
people do things, and he tries to do them. He hears others speak, and
he tried to speak. BUT LONG BEFORE HE UTTERS HIS FIRST WORD, HE
UNDERSTANDS WHAT IS SAID TO HIM. I have been observing Helen's little
cousin lately. She is about fifteen months old, and already
understands a great deal. In response to questions she points out
prettily her nose, mouth, eye, chin, cheek, ear. If I say, "Where is
baby's other ear?" she points it out correctly. If I hand her a
flower, and say, "Give it to mamma," she takes it to her mother. If I
say, "Where is the little rogue?" she hides behind her mother's chair,
or covers her face with her hands and peeps out at me with an
expression of genuine roguishness. She obeys many commands like these:
"Come," "Kiss," "Go to papa," "Shut the door," "Give me the biscuit."
But I have not heard her try to say any of these words, although they
have been repeated hundreds of times in her hearing, and it is
perfectly evident that she understands them. These observations have
given me a clue to the method to be followed in teaching Helen
language.I SHALL TALK INTO HER HAND AS WE TALK INTO THE BABY'S EARS. I
shall assume that she has the normal child's capacity of assimilation
and imitation. I SHALL USE COMPLETE SENTENCES IN TALKING TO HER, and
fill out the meaning with gestures and her descriptive signs when
necessity requires it; but I shall not try to keep her mind fixed on
any one thing. I shall do all I can to interest and stimulate it, and
wait for results.
April 24, 1887.
The new scheme works splendidly. Helen knows the meaning of more
than a hundred words now, and learns new ones daily without the
slightest suspicion that she is performing a most difficult feat. She
learns because she can't help it, just as the bird learns to fly. But
don't imagine that she "talks fluently." Like her baby cousin, she
expresses whole sentences by single words. "Milk," with a gesture
means, "Give me more milk." "Mother," accompanied by an inquiring
look, means, "Were is mother?" "Go" means, "I want to go out." But
when I spell into her hand, "Give me some bread," she hands me the
bread, or if I say, "Get your hat and we will go to walk," she obeys
instantly. The two words, "hat" and "walk" would have the same effect;
BUT THE WHOLE SENTENCE, REPEATED MANY TIMES DURING THE DAY, MUST IN
TIME IMPRESS ITSELF UPON THE BRAIN, AND BY AND BY SHE WILL USE IT
HERSELF.
We play a little game which I find most useful in developing the
intellect, and which incidentally answers the purpose of a language
lesson. It is an adaptation of hide-the-thimble. I hide something, a
ball or a spool, and we hunt for it. When we first played this game
two or three days ago, she showed no ingenuity at all in finding the
object. She looked in places where it would have been impossible to
put the ball or the spool. For instance, when I hid the ball, she
looked under her writing-board. Again, when I hid the spool, she
looked for it in a little box not more than an inch long; and she very
soon gave up the search. Now I can keep up her interest in the game
for an hour or longer, and she shows much more intelligence, and often
great ingenuity in the search. This morning I hid a cracker. She
looked everywhere she could think of without success, and was
evidently in despair when suddenly a thought struck her, and she came
running to me and made me open my mouth very wide, while she gave it a
thorough investigation. Finding no trace of the cracker there, she
pointed to my stomach and spelled "eat," meaning, "Did you eat it?"
Friday we went down town and met a gentleman who gave Helen some
candy, which she ate, except one small piece which she put in her
apron pocket. When we reached home, she found her mother, and of her
own accord said, "Give baby candy." Mrs. Keller spelled, "No—baby
eat—no." Helen went to the cradle and felt of Mildred's mouth and
pointed to her own teeth. Mrs. Keller spelled "teeth." Helen shook her
head and spelled "Baby teeth—no, baby eat—no," meaning of course,
"Baby cannot eat because she has no teeth."
May 8, 1887.
No, I don't want any more kindergarten materials. I used my little
stock of beads, cards and straws at first because I didn't know what
else to do; but the need for them is past, for the present at any
rate.
I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of
education. They seem to me to be built up on the supposition that
every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think. Whereas,
if the child is left to himself, he will think more and better, if
less showily. Let him go and come freely, let him touch real things
and combine his impressions for himself, instead of sitting indoors at
a little round table, while a sweet-voiced teacher suggests that he
build a stone wall with his wooden blocks, or make a rainbow out of
strips of coloured paper, or plant straw trees in bead flower-pots.
Such teaching fills the mind with