Pranava, Aum, is the root mantra and primal sound from which all creation issues forth. It is associated with Lord Ganesha. Its three syllables stand at the beginning and end of every sacred verse, every human act. Aum.

What Is the Fulfillment of a Marriage?

SHLOKA 81

Children are the greatest source of happiness in marriage. Householder life is made rich and complete when sons and daughters are born, at which time the marriage becomes a family and a new generation begins. Aum.

BHASHYA

The total fulfillment of the grihastha dharma is children. Marriage remains incomplete until the first child is born or adopted. The birth of the first child cements the family together. At the birth itself, the community of guardian devas of the husband, wife and child are eminently present. Their collective vibration showers blessings upon the home, making of it a full place, a warm place. It is the duty of the husband and wife to become father and mother. This process begins prior to conception with prayer, meditation and a conscious desire to bring a high soul into human birth and continues with providing the best possible conditions for its upbringing. Raising several children rewards the parents and their offspring as well. Large families are more cohesive, more stable, and are encouraged within the limits of the family's ability to care for them. Parents, along with all members of the extended family, are responsible to nurture the future generation through childhood into puberty and adulthood. The Vedas exclaim, "Blessed with sons and daughters, may they enjoy their full extent of life, decked with ornaments of gold." Aum Namah Sivaya.

What Are the Main Duties of Parents?

SHLOKA 82

The fundamental duty of parents is to provide food, shelter and clothing and to keep their children safe and healthy. The secondary duty is to bestow education, including instruction in morality and religious life. Aum.

BHASHYA

Assuring the health and well-being of their offspring is the most essential duty of parents to their children, never to be neglected. Beyond this, parents should provide a good example to their children, being certain that they are taught the Hindu religious heritage and culture along with good values, ethics, strength of character and discipline. Sons and daughters should worship regularly at puja with the parents, and the Hindu sacraments should all be provided. Education in all matters is the duty of the parents, including teaching them frankly about sex, its sacredness and the necessity to remain chaste until marriage. Children must learn to respect and observe civil law and to honor and obey their elders. Parents must love their children dearly, and teach them to love. The best way to teach is by example: by their own life, parents teach their children how to live. The Vedas declare, "Of one heart and mind I make you, devoid of hate. Love one another as a cow loves the calf she has borne. Let the son be courteous to his father, of one mind with his mother. Let the wife speak words that are gentle and sweet to her husband." Aum Namah Sivaya.

How Strictly Must Children Be Guided?

SHLOKA 83

Parents should be most diligent in guiding their children toward virtue, protecting them from all bad company and influences, being strict yet never harsh or mean, allowing them prudent freedom in which to grow. Aum.

BHASHYA

Children are constantly learning, and that learning must be guided carefully by the parents. The young's education, recreation and companions must be supervised. They should be taught the scriptures of their lineage. Their religious education is almost always in the hands of the parents. They should be disciplined to study hard, and challenged to excel and fulfill their natural talents. They should be praised and rewarded for their accomplishments. Children need and seek guidance, and only the parents can truly provide it. In general, it is the mother who provides love and encouragement, while the father corrects and disciplines. A child's faults if not corrected will be carried into adult life. Still, care should be taken to not be overly restrictive either. Children should never be struck, beaten, abused or ruled through a sense of fear. Children, be they young or old, have a karma and a dharma of their own. Their parents have a debt to pay them; and they have a debt to return later in life. The Vedas plead, "O friend of men, protect my children. O adorable one, protect my cattle. O sword of flame, protect my nourishment." Aum Namah Sivaya.

Should All Youths Be Urged to Marry?

SHLOKA 84

All but the rare few inclined to monastic life should be encouraged to marry and schooled in the skills they will need to fulfill dharma. Young boys destined to be monastics should be raised as their satguru's progeny. Aum.

BHASHYA

Traditionally, boys with monastic tendencies are encouraged and provided special training under their satguru's direction. It is considered a great blessing for the family to have a son become a monastic and later a swamî. Generally, children should be taught to follow and prepare themselves for the householder path. Most boys will choose married life, and should be schooled in professional, technical skills. Girls are taught the refinements of household culture. Both girls and boys should be trained in the sacred Vedic arts and sciences, including the sixty-four crafts and social skills, called kalas. Boys benefit greatly when taught the profession of their father from a very young age. The mother is the role model for her daughters, whom she raises as the mothers of future families. Sons and daughters who are gay may not benefit from marriage, and should be taught to remain loyal in relationships and be prepared to cope with community challenges. The Vedas pray, "May you, O love divine, flow for the acquisition of food of wisdom and for the prosperity of the enlightened person who praises you; may you grant him excellent progeny." Aum Namah Sivaya.

How Is Family Harmony Maintained?

SHLOKA 85

In the Hindu family, mutual respect, love and understanding are the bedrock of harmony. By not fighting, arguing or criticizing, members cultivate a spiritual environment in which all may progress. Aum Namah Sivaya.

BHASHYA

For a harmonious joint family, it is vital to make the home strong, the center of activity and creativity, kept beautiful and clean, a sanctuary for each member. While striving to increase wealth, the wise families live within their means, content with what they have. Activities are planned to bring the family close through shared experiences. A gentle but firm hierarchy of respect for elders is maintained throughout the family. In general, the younger, in humility, defers to the elder, allowing him or her the last word. The elder is equally obliged to not misuse authority. Older children are responsible for the safety and care of their younger brothers and sisters. Disputes among children are settled by their mother, but not kept a secret from the father. Actual discipline in the case of misconduct is carried out by the father. When disputes arise in the extended family, responsibility for restoring harmony falls first to the men. However, any concerned member can take the lead if necessary. The Vedas say of grihastha life, "I will utter a prayer for such concord among family members as binds together the Gods, among whom is no hatred." Aum Namah Sivaya.

Scriptures Speak on Children

O Lord of the home, best finder of riches for our children are you. Grant to us splendor and strength, O Master of our home.
Yajur Veda

I am inclined to adore you, the two sages, the ministrants at the places of work and worship of men, from whom all the prosperity is derived. May you raise our offspring to a higher stature and help us to acquire precious treasures preserved amongst nature's bounties, when the worship is being conducted.
Rig Veda

I know not how to stretch the threads or weave or discern the pattern of those who weave in the contest. Whose son will be the one to speak so well as to surpass, advancing from below, his father?
Rig Veda

Keen of mind and keen of sight, free from sickness, free from sin, rich in children, may we see you rise as a friend, O Sun, till a long life's end!
Rig Veda

Never may brother hate brother or sister hurt sister. United in heart and in purpose, commune sweetly together.
Atharva Veda

To you, O Lord, the Priest, beloved of all men, we bring our praise with reverence. Keep watch over our children and ourselves, we pray. Guard both our lives and our cattle.
Atharva Veda

Let there be no neglect of the duties to the Gods and the fathers. Be one to whom the mother is a God. Be one to whom the father is a God. Be one to whom the teacher is a God. Be one to whom the guest is a God.
Yajur Veda

If he should desire, "Let me be born here again," in whatever family he directs his attention, either the family of a brahmin or the family of a king, into that he will be born.
Sama Veda

By honoring his mother he gains this world, by honoring his father the middle sphere; but by obedience to his teacher, the world of Brahman. All duties have been fulfilled by him who honors those three.
Manu Dharma Shastras

Among those who strive for liberation, the foremost are they who live the blessed state of family life as it should be lived.
Tirukural

"Sweet are the sounds of the flute and the lute," say those who have not heard the prattle of their own children.
Tirukural

The father's duty to his son is to make him worthy of precedence in the assembly of the wise. The son's duty to his father is to make the world ask, "By what great austerities did he merit such a son?"
Tirukural

Of all a man's blessings we know of none greater than the begetting of children endowed with wisdom. What pleasure it is to human beings everywhere when their children possess knowledge surpassing their own!
Tirukural

Study well. Be obedient. Hear and follow the advice of your father, mother, brothers and sisters, and your aunt and uncle. You alone always set a good example in obedience.
Natchintanai

Do not neglect your duty, my son. Be not troubled by sorrow or care. Do not stray from the path of dharma, my son. Awake and know yourself!
Natchintanai

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Index of Contents

Mandala Eighteen: Ways of Wisdom